Crazy Love

[bluedeva]

I have been in a very turbulent relationship for a past year with a person who has been addicted to heroin. I know it sounds crazy, well, it is crazy that’s why. I don’t know what to feel right now because I have been completely paralyzed by my situation to the point that today I could not get up whole day, I just laid in my bed looking at the ceiling fan. We met last summer and it was instant, I had this feeling like I knew him all my life and that he is my guy. I was married before, I have children, career, all that, life. I look presentable and normal, but I am really a rave kid who never grew up, who doesn’t even look her age, who daydreams about moving to San Francisco and painting my dreams all day long [/FONT]J[FONT=Calibri] Work in IT and hate it every single day. So anyway, he comes along and everything changes. We go to SF for a week, we talk every day, we have the same dreams, we laugh, we love, it’s the best feeling ever. My kids love him, he is our bear, he has a gentle soul, he is strong and for me. And then something changes. Apparently, he was in recovery for heroin addiction. Wow, lucky me. In a matter of 2 months, everything goes to hell – he looses his job, money start disappearing, lies, empty eyes, soul gone, wtf happened? We break up, he almost dies, goes to rehab and then sober facility. One detail – while on heroin he steals some bottle from a store and gets busted. Having prior record (all for stealing some random stupid as stuff while high), puts him in a bad situation with the law. While in rehab, I come back to life – I start painting again, my household is taken care of, turbulance is gone, I feel alive. I made a decision to support him – we wrote letters to each other, then visits, gave him all my love, he looked like the person I fell in love with. This went on for over 6 months. It was hard, very hard, but I lived my life, I went places, I took snowboarding trips, all healthy stuff, reconnected with the world, life is good again. He gets out and its time to do the time for the crime, so to speak. He turned himself in for that bottle and it looks like he will be doing a year or more in jail. F***, all of the sudden I am in the same place I was when he was on H. Another year of this hell, waiting, etc? I cry and cry and cry and cry and cant stop crying. All my family thinks that I am insane to put myself through this. I am very good looking, can do much better, etc. But how do you walk away from a person who is in jail – I mean he needs me, right? Right. I don’t know. On one side I already spend a year in this horrible pain, and now another year or more of this and then where is a guarantee it will be good? On the other side all those feelings. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[HardknockLife]

This is a difficult situation. I know that just because someone is sick, doesnt mean that they are no good inside. However, this person is up to no good. My advice, stay away...