DSM2709 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 As easy as it is for me to carry on about my life, my daily routine, going to work, taking care of myself and dating etc etc, it is equally as hard for me to forget about my ex. It has been a whole year and 2 weeks since I moved out of her apt and into my own and it has been only 8 weeks exactly since we last saw each other or spoken to each other. I told myself that I would not contact her again because of our last encounter. It seems like no matter how much I try not to think about what went wrong with the relationship and all the flaws that surrounded it, I can't get her out of my head. I know at this point that she will not change her ways or feelings of me if I contact her either by phone or e-mail. She will not budge and it's hard for me to except that. I miss her so damn much, I miss what we had together before all the unpleasantness, the going out and having a good time, the dancing, the walks along the beach and of course the sex. Am I missing her because there is no one else in my life right now, so all the thoughts of her keep flooding my brain? She has said to me in the past that she doesn't mind hanging out with me, just as long as I am fine with the fact that we do so as "Friends". I'm having a hard time with that. Letting go is not one of my strong suits and I know you all out there know how I feel because you wouldn't be out here either with me if you didn't have some of the same emotions through your own experiences. I do what I have to do each day to keep busy. Hell, I even went out this past May and got my motorcycle license and bought a motorcycle, something I never thought was possible in my life, but I am enjoying it very much. I have been holding strong with not contacting her because I know it will be the same old story, and I'm sure she doesn't want to here it over and over again. I just wish there was a way I could get through to her and tell her that I am a great guy to be with and that I miss her. Even though she was controlling to which she admitted and also a stubborn pollock as she put it, I still miss her so damn much. I want to so bad to call her and have breakfast with her like we use to when we were together, but I can't budge this time. It's always been me since we broke up who made contact to get together to which she always agreed. The last time we met in June, she came over to my place to watch the Stanley Cup playoffs and I showed her my new m'cycle to which she said "Why does that not surprise me!" and then when she left for the night, I walked her to her car and gave her a hug and ASKED if I could give her a kiss goodnight (I know, I should have just done it), but then she says "Your always pushing" meaning I am always pushing my luck with her every time we meet. She then texted me to say she was home safe and goodnight and that was the last I heard from her. So, it has been 8 weeks since my last contact with my ex, and I have no idea why I am counting the weeks but I think it's a challenge for me because by this time I would have already tried to see her again or had some contact with her. She is a very independent person with a huge heart, but very critical at times and stubborn. But, damn it I still miss her like crazy, no matter what, even if I did feel like I was walking on eggshells with her. I often wonder if she's dating or seeing anyone, but with her busy busy schedule, I don't see how, but who knows, why do I care? I think about her work schedule, because I know it, so when I look at my watch depending on the day I can't help but think of her. I know I have to let go and keep my mind on other things, but it's hard sometimes. I just needed to vent out to the LS community and I guess this is better than getting impulsive and doing something stupid like calling her and making an ass of myself and then regretting what I did later. Thank you!!
HardknockLife Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Keep doing what youre doing.. Don;t contact her. Hang in there bud
lost.lamb Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 You know, letting go is also not something I'm strong with for I am a very persistent person. I understand how you feel completely. I've held onto the relationship so badly but my ex still wanted to leave. Sometimes they just don't want to be with you. You could be a best person in the world but if they don't want to be with you, how could you ever convince them? You can't change them but you can change yourself. What I find helps is to hang out with friends and have fun with them. When I am left to my own thoughts, it's so hard to not think about the good times I had with my ex. But is it worth holding onto someone who's already moved on and only see you as a friend? When you are sad, do they know that? When you think about them and cry your eyes out, do they even care? This may sound cliche but you can definitely find someone who appreciates you and the love you can offer. If they love you, then they will know that you're worth fighting for. If they take you for granted, then why waste your time and energy when there could be a way better person out there? Keep being strong. We're cheering for you. =)
Author DSM2709 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 Thanks, that means alot. Good points of view all around. I'm keeping my head up and staying positive.
Sebastian76 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Remember one thing, you WILL find someone that makes you happy and that you will love and visa versa. Just don't expect to do so straight away. Accept that it usually takes time to find the right one. I've slept with maybe 80-90 girls (yeah I'm a bit of a male slut:), but only ever felt to get serious with 4-5 of them. It's a bit of a numbers game, as the girls say 'you need to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince'. So my advice is to start dating girls even if you don't really feel like it. You'll feel miserable and miss your ex even more if you let your standards fall too low, so be warned. But just being in the game, have some female company and being your own master of your sex life is a great starting point for moving on. Just don't get involved with the first one who's willing to have sex with you. Be honest with yourself so you don't waste a lot of precious time with the wrong ones. Good luck, // Seb
Author DSM2709 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 Thanks Sebastian, I've been on the dating sites and it's a crap shoot sometimes with these women. I don't know if it's my profile, my pics or what, I send out handfuls of e-mails and hardly any responses, WTF?? However, I am keeping my head up, I guess yesterday was just one of them days where I missed my ex alot. Thanks again.
olivec Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 As easy as it is for me to carry on about my life, my daily routine, going to work, taking care of myself and dating etc etc, it is equally as hard for me to forget about my ex. It has been a whole year and 2 weeks since I moved out of her apt and into my own and it has been only 8 weeks exactly since we last saw each other or spoken to each other. I told myself that I would not contact her again because of our last encounter. It seems like no matter how much I try not to think about what went wrong with the relationship and all the flaws that surrounded it, I can't get her out of my head. I know at this point that she will not change her ways or feelings of me if I contact her either by phone or e-mail. She will not budge and it's hard for me to except that. I miss her so damn much, I miss what we had together before all the unpleasantness, the going out and having a good time, the dancing, the walks along the beach and of course the sex. Am I missing her because there is no one else in my life right now, so all the thoughts of her keep flooding my brain? She has said to me in the past that she doesn't mind hanging out with me, just as long as I am fine with the fact that we do so as "Friends". I'm having a hard time with that. Letting go is not one of my strong suits and I know you all out there know how I feel because you wouldn't be out here either with me if you didn't have some of the same emotions through your own experiences. I do what I have to do each day to keep busy. Hell, I even went out this past May and got my motorcycle license and bought a motorcycle, something I never thought was possible in my life, but I am enjoying it very much. I have been holding strong with not contacting her because I know it will be the same old story, and I'm sure she doesn't want to here it over and over again. I just wish there was a way I could get through to her and tell her that I am a great guy to be with and that I miss her. Even though she was controlling to which she admitted and also a stubborn pollock as she put it, I still miss her so damn much. I want to so bad to call her and have breakfast with her like we use to when we were together, but I can't budge this time. It's always been me since we broke up who made contact to get together to which she always agreed. The last time we met in June, she came over to my place to watch the Stanley Cup playoffs and I showed her my new m'cycle to which she said "Why does that not surprise me!" and then when she left for the night, I walked her to her car and gave her a hug and ASKED if I could give her a kiss goodnight (I know, I should have just done it), but then she says "Your always pushing" meaning I am always pushing my luck with her every time we meet. She then texted me to say she was home safe and goodnight and that was the last I heard from her. So, it has been 8 weeks since my last contact with my ex, and I have no idea why I am counting the weeks but I think it's a challenge for me because by this time I would have already tried to see her again or had some contact with her. She is a very independent person with a huge heart, but very critical at times and stubborn. But, damn it I still miss her like crazy, no matter what, even if I did feel like I was walking on eggshells with her. I often wonder if she's dating or seeing anyone, but with her busy busy schedule, I don't see how, but who knows, why do I care? I think about her work schedule, because I know it, so when I look at my watch depending on the day I can't help but think of her. I know I have to let go and keep my mind on other things, but it's hard sometimes. I just needed to vent out to the LS community and I guess this is better than getting impulsive and doing something stupid like calling her and making an ass of myself and then regretting what I did later. Thank you!! Hey man thats too bad how everything ended for you and I know exactly how you feel as I've just went through almost the same situation as you. Was with my girl for 6 months but they way we felt about eachother(or so I thought) made it feel like we were together longer. It started out as a long distance relationship which is always tough anyways but it seemed to working fairly well until she quit her job and move to the same city as me. However once she got here I noticed a change in her mood and how she treated me. Also her 3 best friends lived in the city and they were all single. I noticed after awhile she never wanted to hangout with me it was always her friends so obviously I was getting more and more upset. One night on the phone I just had enuff and said I was tired of the bull****. Then she says "wow i thought we were cool". So then like a idiot i felt bad and said lets try to work things out. That didnt work as she told me the next day she decided she wanted to be friends and she was going through transition with the new job and moving to a new city and she didnt want anything serious. Dude it hurt soo bad because like you i never wanted things to turn out the way they did. And also after the breakup i tryed for 2 months to get her back like a fool. I did eventually snap out of it i'm on 1 month nc and i feel alot better. Dont get me wrong its still tough but you gotta understand things happen for a reason and ultimately she was not the right girl for you and its better to move on and get back to what makes you happy and feeling better about yourself. You dont need someone in your life making you feel like **** everyday. Theres better out there brotha. Trust me!
Author DSM2709 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 @ Olivec, thanks for your story. Yeah it is tough, but your right, there is better out there. I just have to keep my head up and realize it's her loss that she's not in my life. Maybe I might here from her, maybe not but I am not making the first move. I have done so in the past so many times and now I am turning a new leaf. Thanks again and good luck to you.
luvbug89 Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Letting go is not one of my strong suits and I know you all out there know how I feel because you wouldn't be out here either with me if you didn't have some of the same emotions through your own experiences. I'm no good at this either. Letting go hurts, and no matter which week you are in (I am only in my 4th, but who's counting) I still believe that people will have their days where their thoughts bring them back to that one person. I am going through what you are feeling, and like you, I used LS as a way for me to release instead of sending him an email. Missing them is inevitable, it's bound to happen -- but as TOUGH as this is to suggest, as I'm doing the same thing, going through with NC is most suitable for anyone to start "letting go." Time is the best medicine DSM, forget the dating sites for now and have fun with your motorcycle when you start to cave in LS can be great to stop it. Take care!
Author DSM2709 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 @luvbug89: Thank you for sharing, it really means alot to hear other people who have the same feelings I do about their ex's. It makes me feel not so alone out there. I know this will pass, but the past does creep up on me and I think about her and what she might be doing at the moment and also wondering who she's with. As they say "Time heals all wounds", and I truly believe that. Good luck to you and thanks again.
Recommended Posts