Signs she wanted me back??... Or at least for me to pursuit her and sort things out?

[a_bit_lost]

Ok - I posted a massively long story here for background:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3535037

 

But I really wanted to focus in on some specific events post breakup, she broke up with me just over 30 days ago, after a 6month relationship that was a bit rocky from the off... She effectively ended it following a massive argument and a previous split up a few days before, I feel as though she wanted me to pursuit her but I would really like some feedback on these events, in the past when we have fallen out we have both actively followed things up and often I would have chased, she knew this of me and I wonder if here shes put out things in order for me to take on and try again...

 

Since zero contact from me on that day 30 days ago, right after the argument/split-up, the following odd things have happened, and this is what I’m questioning really..

 

1. 2 days after she visited me at work and waited for in reception for me with a birthday present (it was my birthday a few days after the split, she had never visited me at work before). Receptionist called me and told me I had a visitor. I couldn't understand it why she came in, I was shocked in a nice way, and I said things to her like 'have you come to talk to me'. She was cold and just said she wanted to give me the present and made sure I looked at it before she left, she was upset that i’d removed her from Facebook, she made that known. Then she left. She didn't want to just leave the present in reception, she waited for me.

 

2. 10 days after that she sent me an email on a Sunday – Subject: ‘Memories’. And inside there was 60 photos or so from nice days out and things, very emotional style email, with a line saying something like ‘Thought you might like these, these are all that I had, sorry I don’t have all of them’, something like that. I deleted it and didn’t reply.

 

3. 7 days later she came into a club I was DJ’ing at on Saturday night, I don't doubt she found out that I was playing there. I saw her walk in and saw her reaction, she looked a bit spooked at first, she looked freaked out and looked at me a lot. Three times she came over to me half drunk, three times, saying things like ‘i just want to clear the air, whatever happened between us I want to clear the air’. She then went on to tell me how amazing a DJ I was, and she seemed to know about all the things I was currently doing, my progress with my flying lessons, and me dj’ing etc, she knew it all! She was being incredibly complimentary of me. She’d obviously looked on another facebook account to see what I was doing. Anyway, she went on and on for ages in a busy club, ‘just want to clear the air’. She shouted at me calling her ‘mate’, 'don’t call me mate' she shouted! I agreed with ‘being ok with her, and everything cool’. She flirty danced around in front of the DJ Box to get attention, she even danced with other guys, I know what she was trying to do. She said to me ‘am i making you uncomfortable’, i said, ‘nooo, of course not’, even though I was shaking! She came over again and I put my hand on her shoulder and said, ‘look, im over this, you need to be as well’, and she stormed off. Even though obviously i'm not over it, I had to be tough, as she was really pushing the fact that she wanted everything to be 'ok'. If I just cried in front of her, which I felt like doing, I know she'd be in control.

 

4. 5 days later (and this is now 10 days ago) she text me. A long text. Saying things along the lines of she was gutted deep down that we broke up, but understands why. She went onto say how upset she was at me with the breakup and the argument, and that if I’d loved and trusted her that wouldn't have happened. She also said I was childish by saying ‘im over it’ and that she was too, but, she was over it in a different way and will always has a place in her heart for me. And that she’d like us to be friends one day...

 

 

I haven't replied to anything but wonder what the reason for these things were, was she honestly trying to reach out here. I know we're all sufferers on here and mostly 'dumpees', and I'm sure most replies will be to carry on NC, and thats fine - But I have this wonder, what the hell that was all about, will it continue. I've broken up with girls before and been the dumpee, and more often heard nothing more, this one is different and put these things across to me like i've never really seen.

 

I kind of wonder if theres going to be anymore attempts at contact from her too. I can bet shes not sitting at the other end 30 days after thinking about it like the way I am. But then I do wonder, given shes the one that's made these events and I've done jack all back...

[a_bit_lost]

Sorry to bump this - But i'd love to know if anyone else has had similar events post breakup? These seemed really odd to me... Cant get her off my mind now its just past 30 days and 11 days since that last text from her! Still NC from me though..

[a_bit_lost]

Ok, something else has happened as well.

 

2 days ago or so my phone rings, and its her. I unintentionally missed the call. That left me a little shaken alone. An hour after she texts me with something along these lines

 

'I would like a talk. Please can you at least call me back or give me the ok to call you. I would like to talk.. etc etc'

 

I've contininued with NC, but this is playing on me a LOT! What does she want, what does it mean... I'd like to know. My thoughts are I leave it, continue NC and if theres any meaning to this they'll be more. What do you think?

[SlowBlues]

Do you want her back?

[flitzanu]

has she said "i want to get back together with you" yet?

 

if not, then she doesn't. everything else is part of the game, my friend. you're doing good by not playing into it.

[a_bit_lost]

You're absolutly right. She has not said 'i want to get back with you'. She has called and asked for a chat.. I wonder if thats a build up for her to ask that?.. I mean, would someone necessarily just blurt it out like that? Or would they want to talk about it. I just dont get it, she wants to talk?! I mean she called, this is 4+ weeks later now, so shes obv got something on her mind all this time after?! I dont understand.. I'm so curious to know what, but i cannot break NC to be back to square one again just to find she wanted to have a chat... But was this her way of getting into a get back together discussion?! Urghh... What does this mean, will she text or call again. 3days have now passed since her txt and call..

 

And as for do i want to get back with her, well, heart says yes, brain says ummm dont know..

[a_bit_lost]

correction on my last post. Her actual words in her text were 'a talk' not chat. Whether thats of any significance.

[flitzanu]

nah man. if it's that important to her to get back together, she will be very clear about it and FIND a way to tell you, not just say "hey we need to talk".

 

srsly, i know it sucks, but i wish i had someone telling me this same thing. i spent months chasing dead ends, and honestly if i had just backed off and disappeared? it's likely she would have had time to miss me and possibly tried again.

 

she can't miss you if you're still around, you've got to disappear.