ginastar Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I am curious if men, between the ages of 26-32 ish would date a girl for fun without any intention of ever marrying them? I understand if someone would do it for a hook up or maybe a month or two but I am talking about doing this a year or more. Is that possible?
thatone Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 it's hard to turn down the woman you've got, even if you made up your mind months ago that she's not that kind of prospect, or some men are just against marriage in general, and have no desire beyond long term relationships.
NursingGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 it's hard to turn down the woman you've got, even if you made up your mind months ago that she's not that kind of prospect, or some men are just against marriage in general, and have no desire beyond long term relationships. ....*scream*.....
NursingGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 how mature. women scream when they don't get what they desire constantly Yeah, being used is so much fun! Sheesh
Feelsgoodman Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Yeah, being used is so much fun! Sheesh What do you mean, "getting used"? Are you suggesting that a man is obligated to marry you simply because you're sleeping with him?
Author ginastar Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 a guy would use a girl for over a year?? why not just go and find a new chick, one worth marrying one day??
NursingGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 it's hard to turn down the woman you've got, even if you made up your mind months ago that she's not that kind of prospect, or some men are just against marriage in general, and have no desire beyond long term relationships. Ok, let's go over this again for those who don't understand. Thatone says that it's tough to get out of a relationship even when she is "not that kind of prospect". Meaning that she could be someone you would marry but that you have been seeing her for A YEAR! Is she aware of this? Have you let her know that "she's not someone you would marry but only someone you would **** when you get home from work?" I think she deserves to know this.
zengirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 a guy would use a girl for over a year?? why not just go and find a new chick, one worth marrying one day?? Some guys don't want to find a girl worth marrying. Plus inertia is one of the driving forces of humanity (male and female); he could just be comfortable. At any rate, usually when a guy stays with a woman he has no intention to marry, the girl isn't voicing her desire to get to that place. It's on BOTH people to state their intentions and desires in terms of their relationship and in general, yet people usually avoid talking about these things that matter out of fear. Happens all the time. If the guy is pretending he wants to marry her someday, then he's a jerk, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a guy staying in a LTR "for fun" or because it works in the moment, with no intentions of marrying a girl. If you don't want to be in a dynamic like that, you have to let the person know what you want. He might be thinking she's enjoying the LTR as it is too.
carhill Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Dating is supposed to be fun. If synergy develops and the people are compatible, then a relationship may evolve. No person is a slave to another involuntarily. We each choose who we spend our time with and, trust me, I've made some poor choices in that department. When I was that age range, I was actively looking for a marital partner. IME, most of the women I met were either married, broken or looking for fun. Guess we might have a bit in common, eh?
Author ginastar Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 so do guys have a clear definition of the dating type and marrying type and can the dating type turn into a marrying type?
Eddie Edirol Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 a guy would use a girl for over a year?? why not just go and find a new chick, one worth marrying one day?? because everyone has preferences, and not all guys can find a woman that fullfills even half of those preferences. Guys have to figure out alot of things to attract women cerebrally, and they have to settle with what falls in their laps sometimes. So they stay with the steady sex until someone better comes along. Same concept of a women who dates a guy for a year to forget about her ex, knowing she isnt really that into him, and will drop him when a guy she thinks is better comes along.
Anela Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 how mature. women scream when they don't get what they desire constantly And calling a perfect stranger a slut - starting a thread in a lousy attempt to upset or just disrupt - is incredibly mature?
Casablanca Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 how mature. women scream when they don't get what they desire constantly Well I wouldnt like dating a person who I would like to marry and she doesnt want to marry me and keeps dating me and doesnt break up with me even when knowing she would never marry me You want to get technical...I've never dated just to date...ever since high school I have always and I will always date with the intention to see if this has long term potential and beyond...when I know it doesnt, I end it.
thatone Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Ok, let's go over this again for those who don't understand. Thatone says that it's tough to get out of a relationship even when she is "not that kind of prospect". Meaning that she could be someone you would marry but that you have been seeing her for A YEAR! Is she aware of this? Have you let her know that "she's not someone you would marry but only someone you would **** when you get home from work?" I think she deserves to know this. i don't think there's anything wrong with that. as i posted in another thread, most of my relationships in my 20s were short term fling type arrangements with co-workers. a couple of them went on past a few months. but in the back of both minds in every case there was the knowledge that neither of us was going to quit our job and the company had a policy against such relationships as most companies do, it was always temporary. my response to a hint or question about whether i saw myself married someday was always "maybe years down the line, but not anytime soon." that wasn't dishonest in any way. admittedly none of those relationships ever lasted a year for me, just a few months typically.
musemaj11 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Women and their obsession with marriage. Just so you know, marriage doesn't guarantee the longevity of a relationship. Unless ur plan is just to take half of his money.
phineas Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 a guy would use a girl for over a year?? why not just go and find a new chick, one worth marrying one day?? At 39 I can say most of the never married women my age all have the same type of dating history. 4 to 8 months max "relationships" before they caught him cheating or he moved on to another piece. So yeah, guys do this because they are the types with many options & can get away with it. When I meet these women I know there is no potential are not long term simply because i'm not the type of guy that can generate the drama they require to maintain attraction.
EasyHeart Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 I am curious if men, between the ages of 26-32 ish would date a girl for fun without any intention of ever marrying them? I understand if someone would do it for a hook up or maybe a month or two but I am talking about doing this a year or more. Is that possible?Absolutely. I'd go so far as to say that it's the norm, not the exception, at that age. If he's saying, "I definitely want to marry you, just wait a little longer" and he has no intention of marrying you, then he's a liar, which is obviously a big problem. More likely, he'll say something like "I'm not interested in marriage yet" and the woman hears "yet" and thinks "He'll be ready to marry me in a month!", when he actually means "not in this decade".
leftfordead2 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Yeah, why not? There are women that date for fun too..
LoveandSuch Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Hi Gina, yes, they are referred to as serial monogamists. Serial monagamists are men or women who have a lifetime of numerous concurrent longterm relationships. Usually they make horrible long term companions, which stems from committment phobe issues.
Author ginastar Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 I know people date for fun, but really.... over a year? Do you think the guy has no intention of marrying a girl if he stayed with her for over a year?
EasyHeart Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 I know people date for fun, but really.... over a year? Do you think the guy has no intention of marrying a girl if he stayed with her for over a year?Sure. Why not?
Sanman Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Both sexes date for fun. However, I think men have more incentive to do so. The average guy puts in a good deal of effort to get a girl in the beginning. Women love to be courted, have their meals payed for, and there is still a decent amount of rejection. Some guys enjoy that part and the chase. The rest of us are happy to sit back, relax, and enjoy regular sex rather than deal with all that again. Plenty of guys will ride it out until the woman insists on marriage or break up.
musemaj11 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 The sooner women realize that men have no incentive to marry, the better. Just like women want the highest quality man they can get, men want the highest amount of women they can get. I fail to see how one approach is better than the other.
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