Dasaso Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I broke up with my ex about 6 months ago. We never stopped the kissing and flirting. Now he want just to be friends and hes dating a girl and I asked him to get back together in order to not lose him. He tell me he didnt wanted to, so I accepted the fact that it was my falt to let him go. But i see him every day at college and we talk like friends and tell jokes and laugh a lot. By the time I get home i just miss him so much that I dont know if i just miss him or I miss his love or really love him. It feels so good to be around him that i forget He's not mine any longer. But Ive been crying every single day for three weeks since he rejected me. Dont know what to do. I tried the NC thing but it didn't work.
smudge21 Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 If you've been seeing him for this long and now you're getting along then in reality you've never given NC a chance, no properly anyway. It can be tough if you're at college or work with an ex, but you have to find other ways to take your mind off them. Sometimes those feelings can last for the full length of the time you're in contact with the person, and only when you leave college or change jobs do those feelings start to fade; as only then are you truly on NC. Whatever you've tried in the past hasn't worked so see what you can change. It will not be easy whilst he's still a part of your life, but trying to convince yourself you're happy to be friends is wrong. I know that pain - I tried it for nearly 6 months and had to walk away and say goodbye. Only when I went full NC could I even begin to heal. Get some more viewpoints from here and look around at what others are doing. You may not get the solutions you're after, but you will get the support. Stay strong.
Author Dasaso Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 but we have mutual friends, all classes together, the same study group. I dont want to be alone and look like i dont care about them just because I had an issue with this guy. I tried the NC, really, but it only make me feel worst. Now Im better, im very realistic about our break up and his movin on , even thou im still thinking about an opportunity in the future.
sun_moon Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Dasaso,you haven't moved on if your thinking about an opportunity in the future. I know how much pain you must be feeling right now, we all do, just keep coming here for support. NC is not possible if you are in school with him, of course its not going to work for you, LC is what you need to focus on. If you have classes together, then you just have to find away not to actively speak to him. Its fine to say hello and goodbye, but dont go out of your way to be friends with him, its not your place anymore. The only suggestions I have is not to leave the study group and find new/more friends. Or, tell your friends how hard this is for you, and if they are true friends, they will understand, ask them not to mention him or anything when he isnt there with you. This is your first relationship, so everything that happened that makes you cry might feel like the end of the world, or you may feel like you will NEVER meet another good man in your life again, but you will. My god, you are only 21, you have your entire life ahead of you. It will take time and separation from him, you cannot be his friend right now, not while you romantically love him, you have to keep a distance from him. If you stay friends you will always carry hope, and THAT HOPE will only hurt you because he no longer wants the same thing. Its is very wise beyond your years to have the realizations and take ownership of the mistakes you've made and its very good that you can admit them. Take this painful time as a lesson of how you can change things for the better. You are going to be ok, the first month is the hardest, but you can get through this.
Recommended Posts