"This is the last time i give a short guy a chance"

[phineas]

until dating forums on the interwebs I had no idea being 5'8" was even an issue.

[ThsAmericanLife]

As a tall guy ive seen from the other side how powerful height is to women and how much short guys are disdained by women..

 

Ive had married women come to me and say they wish they had a tall man like me and it disgusted me...

 

Theyres some good women out there but most women are more shallow then even Men and are spoiled vain self centered creatures its just in their nature...

 

Even women who give short guys a chance always have their eye on the prize aka the tall prince charming they were promised as a child...

 

Not me. I don't consider tall men as a 'prize' at all. To some extent, it might even be a detriment in my eyes... especially if they consider themselves a prize for simply being born that way. As if THAT makes them a special human being.

 

I've had men (married and unmarried) tell me they wish they had a woman that had my

- booty

- boobs

- brains

 

It never disgusted me. I tell them, "hey, just doing my best to improve the scenery. "

 

If I have a concern about 'short' men is that some of them assume any reason a woman doesn't want to be with them... naturally... must involve their height... then they use that as an excuse, or worse, they cut me down to make themselves feel better.

 

It is very easy to blame something one can't do anything about... rather than work on those things you can.

[leftfordead2]

A few weeks ago a women i know was talking about a recent ex and how bad he was and said this is the last time i give short guys a chance,first off shes about 5'2 hes maybe 5'7 so its not like hes a midget but anyway before that she came off a horrible 5 year relationship with a tall man and has also had other bad experiences with tall guys as well

 

Ladies why do some of you have one bad experience with a guy who happens to be short and that makes you think short guys all over are all the same? yet Tall guys you can have bad experiences with but not group them

 

This height thing must be pretty powerful for females

 

 

That woman is full of crap. That's like saying she's never gonna date a guy with a mole on his face cause of a bad experience.

[Monm82]

And yet women don't make threads about men's shallowness towards their weight nearly as much as men do about their height on here.[/quoute]

 

Of course, that's because women have control of their weight, but men can't control their height.

 

I agree with this.

[ChessPieceFace]

Theyres some good women out there but most women are more shallow then even Men and are spoiled vain self centered creatures its just in their nature...

 

Yep, you just summed it up. I just come here to remind myself why I don't date.

[Flipper]

This thread is retarted and full of retarted people. Really short guys are usually super insecure and really tall guys can be too (the tall ones just won't admit it) for the simple fact that they are very different from everyone else. It's nature.

 

The bottom line is this:

 

At the end of the day height really has nothing to do with anything that REALLY matters. What is attractive is your brain: your personality, intelligence, charisma, ability to love others, etc... what makes you who you are. I know tons of tall guys that girls think are disgusting and short guys that f*** girls like rabbits. It's all about who you are as a person, not your stupid height.

 

Any girl that ACTUALLY decides on guys based on their height is the kind of girl that is emotionally damaged/insecure and that I personally would want nothing to do with. Yea, on first glance it's hard not to notice a tall guy because he's just that... TALL. But what goes beyond the height? I've never heard any girl talk about height like people are in this thread. If we're gonna go into physical characteristics, girls talk about eyes, hair, clothes, muscles... but pretty much all emotionally healthy girls look straight at personality with a guy, not physical traits

[Ladygator]

Hey, the topic was brought up, I answered honestly. Wasn't to offend anyone. Preference is preference.

[Star Gazer]

This height thing must be pretty powerful for females

 

Admittedly, it is for me. I've tried dating shorter guys, and something's just...off. I wish I could change it, but carnal reactions are ingrained, I think.

[dispatch3d]

guy those girls were just pissed. I wouldn't take anything they said too seriously.

[ascendotum]

At any rate, it sounds like the girl in the OP post was socialized to believe shorter = lesser. So, she feels even more annoyed at being rejected/failing with a lesser guy than she would with someone she perceives as "better than her." Men and women both do this, especially if they see dating someone as "giving them a chance" in the beginning and the person not fitting their ideal, as it hits their ego with an extra blow. It's pretty lame all around, but people are egoistic creatures. Also, it sounds like the kind of silly comment that she likely doesn't even mean.

 

'This is the last time i give a short guy a chance' is likely a load of crock. It just so she can legitimize her preference for tall men. I've heard a couple of women over the years say the same thing based on 1 guy, and that he had short man syndrome. Maybe it was true maybe not. It’s just unfortunate for shorter guys that if they have a bit of an attitude, they have a syndrome, whereas it would not be the case for anyone tall. One bad experience does not mean every other short guy is going to be the same. As someone else said you will never hear a woman saying thats the last time she will give a tall guy a chance, despite multiple bad experiences. ZG ^ explained it well.

 

I think some of the not so tall guy’s resentment towards all women is misplaced. For all the guys on the lower side of the average there is also the equivalent number of women. In theory they should not have such a hard time, but its the fact that so many short girls shop for a guy at the other end of the gene pool that guys miss out. It’s the hang ups of the short women over their height and need to improve their status with a tall guy that shorter guys have issues. (the high heels aspect just compounds it)

I have a short friend who has definitely done better with average height women as opposed to the short women. I remember at a large coy xmas function a few years back a co-worker saying, this is why its hard for a short guy and he pointed out all the short girls and their bfs. It was almost a cliché. 3/4 were with tall guys. It's not hard going for every short dude, but if you're an avg joe, avg job, avg personality nice guy, its tough going. As someone noted, some of the posts here just validate the stereotype, but I dont think some of the guys give a f***. It wont change jack, but here they can vent as in real life when I see short dude's complain about their lack of options, women either clam up, deny it or get annoyed.

Edited August 1, 2011 by ascendotum

[DoS]

Shorter men on the hand: Tall and short women find us equally unattractive, short women perhaps even more. Every single man who is dating and is not tall I can guarantee you would go through any length possible to become taller if it was something we could control like weight.

I'm 5'4" and it's not fun but I had options like growth hormones or surgeries that could cut my knees up and break my femurs so that they grow back to fill the larger gap, yielding 2-3 inches. Please don't say that we have no options, we can just cut and break our legs, or take growth hormones at 8 years of age so our bodies grow in abnormal proportions, then we'll be so attractive!

 

I actually am pretty comfortable in my own skin and like my height for a few reasons and don't think I'm a dwarf by any means, but when I think of all the girls I connected with intellectually and values-wise and didn't want me simply because I wasn't the right height (and yeah I know "they weren't worth it anyway" but lets put the cliches aside for a minute and get real) I can guarantee this would weigh on any man after a certain point. I can find girls both shorter and taller than me attractive, I think this is what frustrates me the most : the fact that I just don't understand this and never will .

 

Notice the bolded words. The years of abuse you take for being short and getting pushed around because I weigh 50lbs. less than anything else that moves would cause ANY person to become a little insecure and maybe want to work out and gain weight / get stronger.

 

To address the "I'm a woman, I like short men"

 

I know it's not a worldly truth, I have a girlfriend who is taller than me, and on the internet I could find one woman to support the claim "I like short men," but that doesn't mean it isn't generally untrue. I have lived for 22 years with few girlfriends or love interests and not because I'm ugly or an *******. The amount of rejection I get because "you're cute but you're too small" is the most draining thing I've ever faced. On top of that, it seems irrational, making it harder to accept.

 

I know this sounds like a "feel bad for me" rant, but that wasn't my intention, I wanted to give a first hand perspective from a short man.

[Enchanted Girl]

I'm sure that you are exagerrating how desirable that 5'7 guy is considered to make a point. I am sure he is also very muscular or wealthy, those are the only guys I see under 5'10 with girlfriends.

 

My ex was a nerdy guy who worked at a grocery store and was 5'5" tall. XD He had zero muscles and you don't make a lot of money as a cashier, but he had a girlfriend. And he broke up with ME because he wanted to try sleeping with other women and playing the field.

 

If he was confident in himself, then I really don't know why several taller men in this thread are so insecure. LOL.

[TheBigQuestion]

My girlfriend had an interesting explanation as to why she generally does not find short men attractive. Anything under 5'10 is "too short" for her, and she stands about 5'7". I've heard this explanation from a few other women as well, at least the ones on the taller side. Basically, she spent most of her childhood and adolescence being far taller than every other girl (and most of the guys) in her classes, and got made fun of for it. She pretty much always felt like a giant. I guess her need to be with a taller guy has to do with the fact that she subconsciously doesn't want to feel more masculine or physically dominant.

 

Being 6'1" myself, I find that her being 5'7" is a pretty perfect height aesthetically and compatible with mine for, err, other reasons.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I blame short men for this problem. Just be confident, and know that if any woman holds this against them that this isn't a testimony for all women in the world. We don't all feel that way, so stop feeling insecure about your own height. If a female has a problem with this, then f her, and realize that you wouldn't want to waste your time with someone that cares about stereotypical standards of what couples should look like or that cares that much about what other people think in the first place.

I know many woman that treat being short as a strike against short men, and typically look for taller men regardless of the proportional level of height to them. But that doesn't mean we all feel that way again, so if a woman accepts you the way you are, stop walking around with a chip on your shoulder. I hate it when shorter men ask me, do you mind short guys, do you think that its a problem and then after I say no, don't believe me or act like I have offended them somehow.

 

If you are a guy you have to face down rejection all day to get a date. If you are a short guy the amount of rejection multiplies by 10. Yes that is going to make you feel a certain way over time.

 

Advice like "just get over it" from someone who doesn't face it... seems callous.

[TheBigQuestion]

If you are a guy you have to face down rejection all day to get a date. If you are a short guy the amount of rejection multiplies by 10. Yes that is going to make you feel a certain way over time.

 

Advice like "just get over it" from someone who doesn't face it... seems callous.

 

Agreed. I don't envy short men when it comes to dating at all. I've had enough trouble with dating as a relatively good looking guy standing 6'1".

 

With that said, I've known plenty of shorter guys, one as short as 5'3", who consistently was able to get fairly good looking girlfriends. There's nothing inherently wrong with compensating for one trait with another. He's short, so he developed an outrageously outgoing and care-free personality to make up for it. Adapt or die.

[carhill]

I know this sounds like a "feel bad for me" rant, but that wasn't my intention, I wanted to give a first hand perspective from a short man.

 

Welcome to LS

 

Your perspective is valid. Perhaps you might find this reading to be motivational.

 

Like with other matters of preference (mine has historically been baldness), they're out of our control. Those folks are on another path. Leave them be. Anyone who would deem to 'give you a chance' doesn't deserve to be a beneficiary of your valuable time and humanity.. Either they're enthusiastically and earnestly attracted or they're not. Good luck.

[DoS]

Welcome to LS

 

Your perspective is valid. Perhaps you might find this reading to be motivational.

 

Thanks. I've been reading the forums for quite some time but never felt compelled to post until now. I think I'll have a look at that book, thanks carhill

[ptp]

I have nothing insightful to say but, after reading a few of these types of threads, one realizes that unless you are the in the few % that society deems ideal, everybody has their own hangups and they mostly manifest the same way.

 

Some guys are too short, some too shy/awkward, some are too fat and others (this is my group) who feel they are too unattractive.

 

I find it interesting that regardless of which group one is in, we approach the insecurity in the same way. Short guys say " I am short can't do much about that" while the fat guy says "I have always been fat and always will be fat" and the ugly guys says "I have an unattractive face and I can't do much about that".

[Enchanted Girl]

If you are a guy you have to face down rejection all day to get a date. If you are a short guy the amount of rejection multiplies by 10. Yes that is going to make you feel a certain way over time.

 

Advice like "just get over it" from someone who doesn't face it... seems callous.

 

No one is saying to just get over it. They are saying not to wallow in self-pity or obsess over it. I remember there was one member who made at least one thread a week about how he hated the fact that he was short.

 

Also, have you ever been a tall guy? (Or a short guy if you are defending them?) How do you know how much rejection they get?

[Cypress25]

its the fact that so many short girls shop for a guy at the other end of the gene pool that guys miss out. It’s the hang ups of the short women over their height and need to improve their status with a tall guy that shorter guys have issues. (the high heels aspect just compounds it)

 

So now you're discriminating against short women? First of all, you're assuming that a girl with a tall boyfriend must have chosen him for his height. In reality, she probably chose him because she liked him. She didn't go out searching for a tall guy, it's just a coincidence that the guy she likes happens to be tall. Second of all, even if she does prefer tall guys, that's allowed. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. It's unfair to blame women for making you insecure.

 

And I take offense to the implication that short women "need to improve their status." There is nothing wrong with my status, thank you very much. Why would a tall guy improve my status anyway? Maybe you believe that tall guys are inherently superior, but I don't. If anything, standing next to a tall guy would make me look even shorter in comparison, so if I wanted to feel better about myself, I would go stand next to a midget.

 

I hate wearing heels. I wear them to work because I want to look like an adult, but they hurt my feet, so I wear flats whenever I can. That's part of the reason I don't date tall guys. I don't want to crane my neck trying to talk to the dude. And trying to kiss a tall guy would probably be very awkward and uncomfortable. Now, it may seem like I'm discriminating against tall men, but notice that I never said tall men are unattractive. They may be very attractive, but I still wouldn't want to date them because of the way they make me feel. It's not their fault, but in the presence of a man who towers over me, I feel like a hobbit. I don't like that feeling.

 

Perhaps this might explain why most women don't want to date a man who's shorter than her. It's not because she thinks short men are unattractive. It's because she doesn't like the way they make her feel.

 

I've heard this explanation from a few other women as well, at least the ones on the taller side. Basically, she spent most of her childhood and adolescence being far taller than every other girl (and most of the guys) in her classes, and got made fun of for it. She pretty much always felt like a giant. I guess her need to be with a taller guy has to do with the fact that she subconsciously doesn't want to feel more masculine or physically dominant.

 

Exactly. Women just don't want to be bigger than their boyfriend. It makes them feel self-conscious and gawky. It's not the man's fault, of course, but you can't help the way you feel.

[AD1980]

 

Exactly. Women just don't want to be bigger than their boyfriend. It makes them feel self-conscious and gawky. It's not the man's fault, of course, but you can't help the way you feel.

 

Which i totally understand but for some reason it seems that short and average size women have an even stronger reference for taller Men then taller then average women