SugarHoney Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Trying to stay friends with ex, as thought that was all he wanted. But if he just wants to be friends, then why is he is he still commenting on how beautiful I look, calling me by pet names and telling me how much he misses me?
mr.goodguy Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Hey sugarhoney...welcome to loveshack. How old are you and did he break up with you? I'm assuming he did based on the fact you said "I thought that was all he wanted." (you are giving him all the power if you allow him to dictate what you should be getting out of this.) Its sounds like he still likes you but does not want a relationship. In other words he is trying to hold the attraction and change things into a FWB relationship. All physical, no emotions. By him calling you pet names, all the compliments, telling you how much he misses you is really just him using manipulating tactic and is stringing you along for his benefit. If he did indeed wants a relationship, he'd be man enough to say it. My suggestion is to have little contact with him and find some other guy worth your time.
Pelican Paw Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 How long ago did the two of you break up ? If it was recent it could just be habit. It takes a while to untwine an emotional bond with someone so, even though the relationship may be ended there is still the emotional bond. He could also be feeling guilty if he was the one who broke up with you. That is why people recommend NC (no contact) but, personally, I find that very difficult to do and have been friends with all my ex's - it may take longer for me to detatch myself emotionally from them but for me that is better. The tricky part here is that you may get hurt twice- once from the initial breakup and again with all the mixed signals he is giving you (these may be innocent but you are interpreting them a certain way). Try to be strong and realistic and if it no longer works for you, don't feel bad to tell him openly that you want to be friends but for now you need a break.
Author SugarHoney Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 How old are you and did he break up with you? I'm assuming he did based on the fact you said "I thought that was all he wanted." (you are giving him all the power if you allow him to dictate what you should be getting out of this.) Its sounds like he still likes you but does not want a relationship. In other words he is trying to hold the attraction and change things into a FWB relationship. All physical, no emotions. By him calling you pet names, all the compliments, telling you how much he misses you is really just him using manipulating tactic and is stringing you along for his benefit. If he did indeed wants a relationship, he'd be man enough to say it. My suggestion is to have little contact with him and find some other guy worth your time. He essentially broke up with me, although was kind of a messy break up. You really think he's just manipulating me? I thought maybe he was just confused and given some time he might want me back? I know I could never handle a friends with benefits situation, I love him too much. How long ago did the two of you break up ? If it was recent it could just be habit. It takes a while to untwine an emotional bond with someone so, even though the relationship may be ended there is still the emotional bond. He could also be feeling guilty if he was the one who broke up with you. That is why people recommend NC (no contact) but, personally, I find that very difficult to do and have been friends with all my ex's - it may take longer for me to detatch myself emotionally from them but for me that is better. The tricky part here is that you may get hurt twice- once from the initial breakup and again with all the mixed signals he is giving you (these may be innocent but you are interpreting them a certain way). Try to be strong and realistic and if it no longer works for you, don't feel bad to tell him openly that you want to be friends but for now you need a break. Has been 4 months since the break up and we did have a long time apart where there was little to no contact. I still love this guy a lot, but he's also a very good friend, and although having contact with him has been really hard emotionally, I was hoping in time I'd be able to handle it. He's just been throwing around so many mixed messages lately when we've been hanging out together that its hard to know what he wants, and maybe he doesn't know himself? Because surely if he just wanted to be friends then he wouldn't flirt with me so much, call me "honeypie" etc and tell me that I look gorgeous? Because friends behaving like that towards each other seems very weird to me.
Author SugarHoney Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Last night I confronted my ex on his behavior and he says he didn't mean anything by it, that this whole situation is just confusing for him, but he also said he does still have feelings for me, he's just not sure what he wants rights now. I don't know what to do, he left really suddenly last night. Maybe I should just give him some space to think about things?
sd89 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Maybe I should just give him some space to think about things? Exactly. Do it as of now!
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