xxHollyxx Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 My ex broke up with me many months ago. He is seeing someone else. I thought I was over him. We kind of stay in contact. Anyway, today I noticed he has deleted all our photo albums together! We went travelling together and he deleted all those albums! It is like he is killing our memories like they meant nothing to him.... I am gutted as he left every album I was in and only those albums.... I can't understand why someone would do this? I want to delete every picture I have with him now. Should I?
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 I just deleted him from facebook. Had to be done. I hope this is the right thing and not some immature move:(
Ladygator Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I'm sorry, girl. The Facebook removal move was smart -- I still keep in contact with my ex but I can't add him back on FB. I don't wanna know.
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 Thanks, I guess it should have happened months ago. That time of my life meant a lot to me, and it did to him at the time. I understand him deleting photo albums of us at home or loved up ones. But these are when we went travelling and saw the world together! It's just upsetting that he wants to erase those times. I don't get it.
aussie_bloke Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 It's just upsetting that he wants to erase those times. I don't get it. G'day Holly, It may not be that he is trying to erase those times, I'm sure he will remember them forever, but he may be trying to strengthen his relationship with his new gf. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you honestly feel if your boyfriend has photos of his ex on his facebook? If he has any worth as a bloke he will be putting his whole heart into his new relationship, so don't take offence to it, just try to understand that he has moved on and is trying his best to make a go of it. I hope you feel better soon!
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 Hi Aussie bloke! Thanks for your input!!... However, just today I was talking to him and he told me they are not serious and he doesn't want anything serious with her. (before i noticed the photos) So this is the part I find hardest!! He deleted all these memories because he is 'kind of seeing someone' as he terms it. Also, he left some photos of the two of us which is weird, but deleted others! He left a few ones where we were clearly a couple so i don't get his motive... To ACTUALLY delete ALL the travel albums! Wow, I mean he had some fantastic pictures on them, 100s...I'm not even in most of them! So it seems sooo extreme!
Pelican Paw Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I know how you feel Holly. I was over my ex too - or so I thought - until my best friend from out of town came to visit me for a week and my ex, who I am still friends with, popped in to visit to wish me for my b.day and the 2 of them started flirting with one another (he had only met her once before, 4 years ago). She kept on inviting him to come and visit at my spot whilst she was visiting. Initially it didn't bother me at all and thought that the 3 of us were getting on quite well and having fun, until I relooked at the situation and saw that actually the 2 of them were having the fun and I was tagging along. It was bizarre and since then, over a month now, I have been obsessed with it. They are big mates now - on network sites and gmail chat etc. I am so upset at my friends betrayal because I had confided in her for the 6 months since my ex and I had broken up and here she goes and blatently carries on like that. We're not teenages and this is too Jerry Springer for my liking. I told both of them how their behaviour made me feel, he said he was sorry (even though he still big buds with her) and she merely told me that she was sorry if she was being insensitive but she really likes him. Although the situation is very different to yours Holly, its because until we know, see and feel them having moved on from us we kind of believe that they haven't and that's a comfort at a time when we are healing. Then when the situation changes, we get boomaranged back a bit. But, like you will, i will get back to where I was. This is only a minor set back
KathyM Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 My ex broke up with me many months ago. He is seeing someone else. I thought I was over him. We kind of stay in contact. Anyway, today I noticed he has deleted all our photo albums together! We went travelling together and he deleted all those albums! It is like he is killing our memories like they meant nothing to him.... I am gutted as he left every album I was in and only those albums.... I can't understand why someone would do this? I want to delete every picture I have with him now. Should I? Your relationship with the guy is over, and I am guessing his new girlfriend doesn't want pictures of him and you around. Nothing you can or should do about that.
aussie_bloke Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Hi Aussie bloke! Thanks for your input!!... However, just today I was talking to him and he told me they are not serious and he doesn't want anything serious with her. (before i noticed the photos) So this is the part I find hardest!! He deleted all these memories because he is 'kind of seeing someone' as he terms it. Also, he left some photos of the two of us which is weird, but deleted others! He left a few ones where we were clearly a couple so i don't get his motive... To ACTUALLY delete ALL the travel albums! Wow, I mean he had some fantastic pictures on them, 100s...I'm not even in most of them! So it seems sooo extreme! Hey Hol, I would like to think he was just cleaning up his fb and there was no other reason for him to delete some and not others. Believe me, from a guys perspecive alot of the times we just do stuff without thinking how others will interpret it, especially girls... the day I work out how your mind works I will be rich ! I know you are in a tough place but I think you need to take a step back and have a look at the situation. He has moved on, and before this you were also moving on, so really it shouldnt matter what he does or doesnt do as you are not in a relaionship anymore. I am a firm believer that it is impossible to be friends with an ex, not in the first couple of years anyway as there will always be some sort of feelings there on one or both sides of the fence. If you are serious about moving on I would delete his facebook, I know thats a tough move but if you are serious about bettering yourself you will. Think how you are feeling now, do you really want to prolong this feeling? You havta pull yourself out of the situation. If he was stupid enough to loose you then bugger him, look for someone who actually deserves you instead of wasting your time on someone who doesnt. Smile
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 Found out why................ He emailed me saying because I deleted my photos of us, he did the same. What happened was that I blocked him from looking at my albums so it looked like I deleted them to him. Im a little sad as he just deleted them without asking what happened. He says he still has hard copies of them so at least I know they aren't gone forever. Anyway, at least now I know. Also not friends on facebook anymore....Feels sad...Like a mini break up all over again! But it was about time as I can't stand looking at him on fb! When did facebook become part of a relationship?
aussie_bloke Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Sounds pretty immature of him to do that, also shows he must be stalking you on fb. Fb has its advantages but it sure as hell has its disadvantages too. Good for you on the deleting him though, now you have your power back and can focus on yourself. You'll miss looking at his page for a while but soon enough you will forget about it without even realising.
Mack05 Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 (edited) Holly I have read quite a few books over the past few months. Here is an extract from the book getting past your breakup.. "Why can't we be friends?. After a breakup the work each person has to do is lose the couple identity. Each person needs to establish again his or hers identity and no longer see themselves as part of the couple they once were. Therefore being friends in the aftermath of a breakup is a complete NO NO! The atmosphere is too emtionally charged. You both need time to get yourselves together. If you leave each other alone initially you may come back later as saner, more grounded people with a better chance of being friends. But right now you need to concentrate on yourself and your healing.." Think about it and learn this lesson in future. When breaking up in future go no contact. That means u cease all communication. Remove straight away from Facebook/myspace/Twitter. If you did this, you wouldnt be hurting like you are now. Being friends just doesn't help. It keeps your connection to him and leaves you open to be hurt like you just have been. Whether he is serious with this girl is immaterial. She will have asked him to take down the pictures. No one wants to see pics of their boyfriends ex on his Facebook. He is messing with your head now by taking down the pics and saying he is not serious about his new girl. Take away the hold he has over you. It will give the power back to you. No matter what he says, go NC and stick to it. Trust me you will feel so much better. Edited July 30, 2011 by Mack05
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 All of a sudden I feel broken again! I was pretty much over him until this happened. I was happy and free.....finally! I deleted him from facebook. We were emailing and I told him I deleted him and he was mad. Then he just never replied. He always replied to me even after we broke up. I guess we are no longer friends! This is hard for me as I always thought I would have him in my life even as a friend...... I am seeing this guy and all was going well, but now I am upset and feel like an emotional wreck. I hate seeming like a drama queen but this is how I feel. Do I tell this guy why I am acting cold? Do I ignore it? Do I ignore him? What is the mos polite/mature way of dealing with this. I like new guy, but clearly my ex is bothering me a lot......
Recommended Posts