Meghamallan Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Hi All, Please advise me how should I proceed with this killing situation. I have been in a relationship with my BF from last 7 years.My BF is very opposite in his nature, his social life, sense of humor but I know he loves me a lot. I always had this ideology to be with just one person all my life and whatever be the situation, how wierd he might have acted I always adjusted. I have always accepted the imperfections/differences between me n my BF. We always had a long distance relationship from the very beginning. First 4 years we were in different cities and then for next one year we were in the same city however at that time some guy entered into my life and we had problems between us..that was the worst phase some how i controlled the infatuation and hold myself saying i cnt leav a long term commitment, I knew he can never live without me. Then I tried my best to gain trust, to make him happy and eventually he was fine but somewhere he was scared to loose me, some insecurity persists. Now, he went to UK for one year..we talked normally via regular calls and web chat..everythng was fine..we were planning to get married within next year or so..however My life changed.. I met a new guy a month back..I tried to resist but I fell in love with this new guy..I am surprised how can this happen again. He is just like me...kind of a guy that now I know I wanted in life as my soulmate. Now my realization that I was not happy with my BF is growing. With this new guy I feel m living LIFE...i never had this awesome feeling with my BF. With my BF it was always about him..now I feel i was merely fulfilling a commitment... I am in love with this new guy...I just want to get married to him. But when I think of marrying my BF, it seems my life would end as he is nt much comfortable with the fact that I have friends. I recently told my BF when he asked me why am I not looking happy...I told him yes i am not happy, something is missing between us. I told him that I ant to be single and live life. He asked me if I have any other guy in my life, i refused. I begged him to give me time......and I am soo confused.... What should I do....Should I end up with him and listen to my heart and go to the GUY with whom I can bet would b d best one for me. I feel I am alive when I am with this new guy. Please help!!
wilsonx Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 (edited) This is something you have to choose to do. You can not ask us for advice or validation for you. This involves your life and the life of your long term boyfriend and you must weigh the risks associated with this. As a guy on the receiving side of what you are wanting to do, I will say I hope the grass is actually greener on the other side. Edited July 30, 2011 by wilsonx
SoldierMed Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 This is something you have to choose to do. You can not ask us for advice or validation for you. This involves your life and the life of your long term boyfriend and you must weigh the risks associated with this. As a guy on the receiving side of what you are wanting to do, I will say I hope the grass is actually greener on the other side. I Agree with Wilsonx
AngryPMS Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I can see how this is hard to decide. If you think that you will not be happy with your 7-year boyfriend once you guys get married, then break up with him. He's strict and doesn't like the fact that you can have friends and it is something that bothers you, then you should break up. If you think the new guy that you fell in love with is the perfect man for you, then you should date him. You got to take risks in life. If it doesn't work out then you know that at least you were once brave enough to go for it. If you stick with your current bf, then don't ever think about this new guy again. Don't ever think about the could have, should have, would have stuff ever again. Pick one and be devoted to that one. You said you don't want to leave your boyfriend because you think he can't live without you? There is no pity in love, no pity at all. I don't think a guy would like it too much if he knows you stay with him because you feel bad for him. Think carefully before you making the change. I think sometimes women can be really weak. When another man comes into your life at the moment when you are not happy with your bf, you tend to fall for the guy more. The guy probably treats you good, but during the moment when you are not happy, your mind will think that he treats you super great. My point is don't let the sad moment intensify the feeling then what it truly is. On the other hand, if you truly love your boyfriend, I don't think anybody can really get into your heart. I don't think you love him that much anymore. Who knows, if you stick with your boyfriend and you guys get over the hard times, then he probably would love and trust you more! Take risk, be happy or take risk, be sad/but no regret or build/get over the challenge with your current bf. Pick one, be devoted to one! Good luck!
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