UBFeelinMe Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 So about a month ago this girl comes into my work and we have a flirt session and she ends up giving me her number (I didn't even ask for it either). I texted her and a couple days later we went for lunch and a movie in which she actually paid for my movie ticket (split the bill for lunch). The date went really well and so I texted her a few days later to go out again the following week. She ends up canceling on the day of because she had family in town. I contacted her again the next day and we made plans to meet the following week. This time we do meet up and we went for a short walk around the neighborhood and then watched a movie at her place. We ended up fooling around, pretty much doing everything except intercourse (said she didn't want to do that on the 1st date). I thought the night ended really well and I thought the chemistry (sexual and personality wise) was really good. However, I contacted her again a few days later to hang out the next week and she said she was really busy with school and work. I said that it was cool so I contacted her again a week later to try to hang out again and she said maybe this saturday and she apologized for being so busy. So today I texted her again to see if she was still down to hang out tomorrow this morning. She didnt respond so I sent another text 6 hours later. She responded soon after saying that she "thinks i'm sweet" but she doesnt have time to date or hang out right now and she might call me in the future if she does have time. I texted her again saying that its cool and if she has time just call or text me and she just now texted me again thanking for my understanding and apologizing again. Sorry if that was long winded but I just wanted to give a detailed description of what went down. What I am confused about is whether or not she is being genuine about simply not having time for me. I always figured that if a girl was truly into me she would make time for me regardless, but she does seem like she leads a busy lifestyle (we both go to one of the top universities in the country, she is preparing to go to law school and she has a job). I keep thinking that it is something else she didnt like about me or wasn't THAT into me but I got no signs of it during the time we spent together. After all, last time I actually saw her we got REALLY intimate and she seemed to enjoy it and was into it. I just don't know what happened.........
livelife Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I thought I might be able to help since i'm a college student female, but thats pretty confusing. Maybe she got scared off because she felt like you guys were moving too fast, ( everything but sex second date), or maybe she is just really busy! Regardless, there is nothing you can really do=/ The thing is, that if someone did want something, they would go for it. I live by that. If a guy wants to text me, he will. If they want to date you, they will. Shes really confusing, I cant exactly tell where she is standing from the information you gave.
Author UBFeelinMe Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 Haha yea I'm glad I'm not the only one that finds this girl confusing! You are right that it is a possibility that she got scared by how fast it was moving. But that just seems like its just a possibility and I agree with you that if someone really wants something they go for it, but not everyone shares that perspective I guess. I'm actually not too upset over this as she has treated me really well in the short time we spent together and has been respectful in how she let me down, I've been through MUCH worse. I'm just disappointed because I really liked this girl because of how well she treated me. Oh well I'm sure I will run into others like her or even better.
Author UBFeelinMe Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 I would like to see some more input.
LynnT Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I don't have a crystal ball so I don't know. I think you shouldn't worry about it though. Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. The problem seems to be on her end. If you offended her in some way, it's on her to communicate that. If she's not capable of doing that, you probably dodged a bullet. If you didn't offend her and she's just not into you, (if I were guessing that's what I'd guess) it's also on her to communicate that to you but she took the coward way out by making excuses. Maybe she thought she was sparing your feelings. I'm a woman and I don't understand other women either sometimes. (I don't understand men sometimes either though which is probably why I'm still single)
Shaun-Dro Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 So about a month ago this girl comes into my work and we have a flirt session and she ends up giving me her number (I didn't even ask for it either). I texted her and a couple days later we went for lunch and a movie in which she actually paid for my movie ticket (split the bill for lunch). The date went really well and so I texted her a few days later to go out again the following week. She ends up canceling on the day of because she had family in town. I contacted her again the next day and we made plans to meet the following week. This time we do meet up and we went for a short walk around the neighborhood and then watched a movie at her place. We ended up fooling around, pretty much doing everything except intercourse (said she didn't want to do that on the 1st date). I thought the night ended really well and I thought the chemistry (sexual and personality wise) was really good. However, I contacted her again a few days later to hang out the next week and she said she was really busy with school and work. I said that it was cool so I contacted her again a week later to try to hang out again and she said maybe this saturday and she apologized for being so busy. So today I texted her again to see if she was still down to hang out tomorrow this morning. She didnt respond so I sent another text 6 hours later. She responded soon after saying that she "thinks i'm sweet" but she doesnt have time to date or hang out right now and she might call me in the future if she does have time. I texted her again saying that its cool and if she has time just call or text me and she just now texted me again thanking for my understanding and apologizing again. Sorry if that was long winded but I just wanted to give a detailed description of what went down. What I am confused about is whether or not she is being genuine about simply not having time for me. I always figured that if a girl was truly into me she would make time for me regardless, but she does seem like she leads a busy lifestyle (we both go to one of the top universities in the country, she is preparing to go to law school and she has a job). I keep thinking that it is something else she didnt like about me or wasn't THAT into me but I got no signs of it during the time we spent together. After all, last time I actually saw her we got REALLY intimate and she seemed to enjoy it and was into it. I just don't know what happened......... When the silly little twit gave you the run around, you should've called her a cock-tease, which was what she had been to you by getting intimate but yet cutting it off midpoint. Lesson learned: don't be nice to women, because they'll make you "pay" for it next time.
Author UBFeelinMe Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 I think you are onto something shaun-dro, she held my package next to hers and looked at me like she wanted it. I kissed her then said "i gotta get a condom" then she said "i don't have sex on the first date". Maybe i should have went for it without saying anything. That was probably the difference between her seeing me as a badass and her seeing me as a wimp. Lesson learned I guess.
sassybetch Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I think you are onto something shaun-dro, she held my package next to hers and looked at me like she wanted it. I kissed her then said "i gotta get a condom" then she said "i don't have sex on the first date". Maybe i should have went for it without saying anything. That was probably the difference between her seeing me as a badass and her seeing me as a wimp. Lesson learned I guess. i completey disagree with this. going for it without saying anything would just scare a girl and make her feel taken advantage of. if she says she doesn't have sex on the first date, she is not lieing.
NursingGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I think you are onto something shaun-dro, she held my package next to hers and looked at me like she wanted it. I kissed her then said "i gotta get a condom" then she said "i don't have sex on the first date". Maybe i should have went for it without saying anything. That was probably the difference between her seeing me as a badass and her seeing me as a wimp. Lesson learned I guess. Wow, that's pretty wrong to go clear up to that point...then. stop. But it IS her right and no, you weren't being a wimp. Is it possible that she is pretty inexperienced? Because #1 for her to not know what that is doing to any guy to go that far and not be ready to handle the reaction is stupid...especially if she doesn't know you well and #2 I am thinking maybe she is afraid that the next date is definite sexy time and she isn't ready for that? Boyfriend breakup possibly? I know when I have just been through a breakup, I can't just dive right in that soon, so to speak. Or just plain naive.? OR....she really could be busy. I have certainly had times in my life where I've initiated/encouraged contact and then had to drop the ball because some things came up. It's pretty impossible to know for sure but those are some possibilities.
Author UBFeelinMe Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 You guys are right, I did the right thing I'm probably just overanalyzing it. Although she did say to me as she went down on me after that that I "must be so disappointed". I just said "it's ok you are doing great". There seems to be countless possibilities on why it turned out this way but I will never know for sure. I'm just going to assume it's nothing I did wrong necessarily but rather it just falls on her.
NursingGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I'm just going to assume it's nothing I did wrong necessarily but rather it just falls on her. Good assumption. You never know, you may hear from her. Just carry on with normal life and pursuits and see what happens.
snug.bunny Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 I think some females believe that oral isn't sex and they will perform oral on a man versus having sexual intercourse. The statement "I don't have sex on the first date", followed up with her performing oral on you, is confusing. Combined with you asking her out, her saying no and that she doesn't have the time to date you = a tease. Who knows what is going through her head, it sounds like the two of you went out once, she sucked your penis, and now wants nothing to do with you (sorry for being a bit graphic, but that sounds like the gist of it).
Eddie Edirol Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Nothing confusing about this. He excuse for being busy was definitely a blow off. She made time for you the first two times, she could make time if she wanted to. She was just too much of a coward to tell you why she wasnt attracted to you anymore. Either she didnt like the taste of your mouth, or your junk, didnt like your making out style, didnt like the way you kissed, or touched her, or she isnt quite over an ex that dumped her. My guess is she was so aggressive with you in the beginning because she was trying to use you to forget about someone else. Maybe she felt a lil horny and started the sex process but realized halfway through that you werent doing it for her and she aborted the fooling around. Could be a number of reasons why she decided against you. Maybe she was looking for you to sweep her off her feet and it didnt work, so she is moving onto the next guy. Thats why I always let the woman make the "post making out call". That way, if they are still interested, they will get in touch.
NursingGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Thats why I always let the woman make the "post making out call". That way, if they are still interested, they will get in touch. Does that work for you? Just curious.
ShaneGroove Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Hey there UBFeelingMe, I honestly don't think you did anything wrong. Nor do I think you should necessarily change anything that you did. She committed a lot to you by how physical you two got. Because of this, she is most definitely in to you. Though she maybe into you, you have to realize logistics really does play a big role. Maybe you were just a fling for her and she really is busy with stuff in her life right now. Did you ask her what she was looking for? a fling? a relationship? etc.. Bottom line is, if she hasn't been contacting you then being with you is not right for her in her life right now. Doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. I say the best course of action is to go out and have lots of fun with other women. Get your mind off of this this one and when she is ready she will find you. As they say "The show must go on!" Cheers!
carhill Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Reading your OP, she sounds like a typical man Think about it; assertive, pursues you, pays for you, blows you, then disappears, not to mention 'major university', 'job' and 'law school'. You didn't do anything wrong. Find a few more like that and you could develop quite a roster of 'fun'. Don't expect to marry any of them, not for another decade or so. Just go with it.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Does that work for you? Just curious. Always. Even if its days later. Plus I answer right away. But I make sure I show interest on the date so theres no mistaking, thats why it works.
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