Mr. Savage Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I was at subway and this rather attractive girl who was making my sandwhich just outta the blue says "you probably get this alot, but you have really pretty eyes". I was kinda taken back. I've never had a random girl outta nowhere just come out and tell me that. I really didn't know how to respond it was just so sudden. I told her "no, not at all really" which I think kinda made her a little self conscious. I fumbled some words out and thanked her and we chit chatted as she made my sub. Was this an obvious come on? I just couldn't tell if I should of made more of an effort to maybe get her name or do SOMETHING to show interest. Any thoughts? Suggestions?
SelfControl Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 (edited) Instead of saying you don't get the compliment very often, next time just say 'Thank you. That was a very nice thing to say." This way it leaves her wondering if you do in fact get that compliment all the time. Then, introduce yourself by telling her your name and say it's nice to meet you. Then wait for her to tell you what her name is, assuming she is not wearing a name tag. If she volunteers her name back it is a good sign. Then make some more small talk, like you did, and at the end of your conversation ask her for her home phone number. Asking for the home phone number does two things. One, it shows her your are interested. And, two, depending on whether she gives it to you, it tells you whether she is interested. Practice, practice, practice until this comes natural... Edited July 29, 2011 by SelfControl
Enchanted Girl Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 She was coming on VERY strongly if she complicated one of your physical aspects. And you sent signals back by closing up that you weren't interested. You should have ended that conversation by asking her out. I wouldn't say you blew it, per say. You can always go back, get another sandwich and try asking her out then, but next time, try not to miss an opportunity like this one! Most girls are terrified of giving compliments like that and she probably feels humiliated that she did.
Mr. Slim Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Don't feel bad, I never really know how to handle it either. I don't really "do" compliments, either receiving or giving. I'm almost completely unapproachable so I don't usually have to worry about it, but every once in a while some nutty lady just won't be fazed. A couple of weeks ago, a bartender handed me my drink and told me I had nice lips. Now I'm pretty witty but I couldn't think of a single g-rated thing to do with that one! I agree with "selfcontrol", say "Thank you" and proceed as if it's a clear sign of interest.
Fondue Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Don't beat yourself up for it, man. I would have missed it, too. I can't tell when someone is genuinely interested in me by making compliments, or simply being nice. It speaks volumes that EC said that was a huge come-on. I wouldn't have seen it that way. I would think that the other person is simply polite. I guess women and men see signals differently. Like I said, I wouldn't have thought much of it.
daphne Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Turn the car around and go back. Do over's aren't just for girls. She may have a little bit of a wall up now, however. You're going to have to stay warm and not take it personally. After all, your non responsiveness was a sign of rejection to a female. And we're not used to going out of our way to give you guys signs so we don't take rejection well. Good luck.
ptp Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Don't beat yourself up for it, man. I would have missed it, too. I can't tell when someone is genuinely interested in me by making compliments, or simply being nice. It speaks volumes that EC said that was a huge come-on. I wouldn't have seen it that way. I would think that the other person is simply polite. I guess women and men see signals differently. Like I said, I wouldn't have thought much of it. Agree 100%. I would never have guessed that a girl is interested just because she said that. Seems a little too subtle for me.
Dust Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I actually never forgot a time I blew it at subway also. My University had a subway in it and I was buying a sandwich and cookies. The girl in line next to me a beautiful blond said to me when I bought my cookies “ Oh I love cookies” or something like that. It made me feel really awkward cause I felt it was flirtatious and I knew I should do or say something but didn’t. I mean she gave me an ice breaker and seemed really flirtatious and I thought she was hot but all I did was say something like “oh.” Heck maybe I just ignored it I can’t remember. The difference between my story and yours is you’ll probably see this girl again especially if it’s a place you regularly eat. Heck go out of your way to eat there at a time you think she’ll be there like same time or what ever. Then you tell her “you have really beautiful eyes” that would actually really flirty and some what romantic. Then ask her out. Good luck.
Nexus One Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 (edited) Do you know why that happened? It's because most of us walk around like zombies all day occupied with our thoughts inside of our heads. The part of your brain that allows you to socialize intuitively like a kid and react quickly, yet unpressured, but enthusiastically has to be jump-started earlier in the day in order for most people to get the socializing part of their brain going. Talking to strangers and being friendly to them as much as you can helps with this. If you start to put effort into that earlier on in the day you will be able to react more quickly, lively and spontaneously, yet natural later in the day. Socializing is a natural part of human beings, it's behavior that is wired into our brains, but due to modern society it doesn't get jump-started as early or at all as back in the day when we used to live in tribes. So act like you still live in a tribe and talk to people with a fearless attitude like you already know them. Kids do it all the time, but they get that part of their brain jump started early on every day in school, but as they get older and classes become more theoretical and abstract and people are required to be silent more, then things suddenly start to become more complicated. Edited July 29, 2011 by Nexus One
Ruby Slippers Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Yeah, sorry, you fumbled big time. But I agree that you should go back to that place and ask her out.
Author Mr. Savage Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 Now that I look back on it, there was no one in line and it was just me and her and it would of been a perfect time to ask her out. Hopefully when I go back there is no one behind me cause that will make it very hard to ask her out or get her number. We'll see.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 She was coming on VERY strongly if she complicated one of your physical aspects. And you sent signals back by closing up that you weren't interested. You should have ended that conversation by asking her out. I wouldn't say you blew it, per say. You can always go back, get another sandwich and try asking her out then, but next time, try not to miss an opportunity like this one! Most girls are terrified of giving compliments like that and she probably feels humiliated that she did. What are we to do with all the cowardly women roaming the streets?
Afishwithabike Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Now that I look back on it, there was no one in line and it was just me and her and it would of been a perfect time to ask her out. Hopefully when I go back there is no one behind me cause that will make it very hard to ask her out or get her number. We'll see. Good luck. She might not be as approachable this time around if she felt you shot her down the last time.
thatone Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Now that I look back on it, there was no one in line and it was just me and her and it would of been a perfect time to ask her out. Hopefully when I go back there is no one behind me cause that will make it very hard to ask her out or get her number. We'll see. when you go back sit down and wait for everyone else to leave before you talk to her, if that's the case. don't be creepy and sit there and stare the whole time, bring the newspaper or something and just glance at her as you're reading it. then when everyone else is gone approach her. a) good display of effort on your part b) chance to smile/look back at her showing her you are interested in her as well
Dust Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Now that I look back on it, there was no one in line and it was just me and her and it would of been a perfect time to ask her out. Hopefully when I go back there is no one behind me cause that will make it very hard to ask her out or get her number. We'll see. Yeah sure did sound like the perfect opportunity. I know this isn’t the first time I looked back in time at a perfect opportunity missed. Hind sight is 20/20 though. Look who cares if when you go back the place is crowded and her co-workers are around etc. It will actually just make you seem cooler to tell her she has pretty eyes and then ask her for her number so you can take her out some time. Give her the old “what time does your shift end line” then tell her you want to take her out to a place that doesn’t serve sandwiches or what ever feels smooth. When I asked my gf out she had her friends around her. I would have loved to ask her out on a date when she was all alone but that opportunity didn’t present itself. I had to create the alone time by asking her out.
musemaj11 Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 You just missed a fortune. You could have had a woamn who would make you a great sammich for the rest of your life.
spacegirlspiff Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Yes you blew it. You should have said "Thank you. You just made my day with that lovely smile of yours." Then ask her out for coffee.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 What are we to do with all the cowardly women roaming the streets? LOL. Well, I think we'd be less cowardly if women were forced to ask out men more often. Good luck. She might not be as approachable this time around if she felt you shot her down the last time. Agreed, but if you continue to act very nice and complimentary to her, she should open up eventually, regardless of her bruised ego. when you go back sit down and wait for everyone else to leave before you talk to her, if that's the case. don't be creepy and sit there and stare the whole time, bring the newspaper or something and just glance at her as you're reading it. then when everyone else is gone approach her. a) good display of effort on your part b) chance to smile/look back at her showing her you are interested in her as well I agree, but don't glance at her when reading the magazine/newspaper. Yes you blew it. You should have said "Thank you. You just made my day with that lovely smile of yours." Then ask her out for coffee. OMG! That would have been a great line. Wow.
Roman Griffen Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Well, you did blow it. For good? No. Go back and "bump into" her again. THANK her for the compliment about your eyes and take it from there.
zengirl Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Yes you blew it. You should have said "Thank you. You just made my day with that lovely smile of yours." Then ask her out for coffee. Now, that's some game! But seriously, OP, it's easy to have game in a board post. As Nexus said, you need to talk to people more and develop yourself as a social creature is all. And as many have said, you can go back to that Subway and try again someday. I seriously doubt she'd hold it against you or feel so rejected she's angry or depressed or something. She probably felt slightly embarrassed and bummed is all, and it can be a cute story/inside joke how awkward you were (because she was so cute, or whatever) when you actually do get her on a date. As yes, she's likely interested. I'm assuming y'all are young. Young people really are just fumbling around in the dark. Dating in college is a big mish-mash, and these things happen all the time. At least in this instance, there's a good chance you will have another time to talk to this girl again. I don't think she was broken-hearted and quit the Subway over it to go make a website dedicated to what a blue-eyed jerk you are. She probably just thought, "Eh, maybe he has a girlfriend" or something.
Afishwithabike Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 I don't think she was broken-hearted and quit the Subway over it to go make a website dedicated to what a blue-eyed jerk you are. Good one!
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