We both thought it would last forever...now possibly breaking up.

[confuzed25]

6 months I have been with my current boyfriend. He came on very strong in the beginning...he liked me

SO

much and it showed. He was always texting me, wanted to see me ALOT, was very affectionate when we were together. It was like he had to constantly be touching me in some way when we were together and he was

so

happy and sweet to me. We talked all the time about how perfect we were for each other.....we have everything in common, I mean literally everything. All the same likes and dislikes, same values, same outlook on what we want for the future. I love his family, they love me and the same goes for my family with him. Even weird things like we have the same favorite number, we're both left handed, we say the same thing at the same time. He is exactly what

im

looking for....and i am pretty picky. He has said many many times that I am exactly what hes looking for and its like I was made for him and am the perfect girl. We had this amazing fast paced relationship and even though I tried

so

hard to slow it down by telling him I needed some space and didnt want to see him everyday and I did not tell him I loved him as soon as he said it. Also we waited for a couple months before we slept together. But it was like he liked me

so

much and wanted to always be talking to me and always spending time with me. I grew used to it and excepted it as how he was....we both talked about how we just knew we were "the one" for each other because no one could be more perfect. He said if we ever broke up and he dated someone else he would constantly be comparing them to me and they would not be able to be as perfect as me.

 

Well a few months in he went away on a week long trip with some buddies....I was happy for him and told him

so

and told him to have a great time. I did not bug him at all while he was down there and let him initiate the contact since he was on vacation. When he came back it hit me that I did not really miss him while he was gone and I didnt really feel attracted to him anymore. Also, I wished that he had more motivation and realized that he is a bit lazy. One night when we were together I talked to him about this and he said this was coming out of left field and he missed me

so

much while he was gone and he thought he would come home and everything would be great. We talked through it and I gave it another try. Well my feelings came back and everything was great....we had a couple tiny little tiffs every now and then that never turned into a fight or anything like that. We just loved each other

so

much and he was always telling me

so

and I was always telling him what a great man he was and how much I appreciated him. He would often say that our relationship was just

so

easy and he has never been this happy before and that I was such a great girlfriend.

 

Well about a week ago I began to notice a gradual change in him....not as affectionate and the contact slacked off a bit. When we did talk though he was still constantly calling me baby and sexy and was saying I love you and that he missed me, etc. A few days ago we got into a fight because I got mad about something stupid...it did not turn into a full blown fight, just more like me being upset and saying that I felt he was being different and him consoling me and saying I was the most important person in his life and he sure as hell did not want us to break up or take a break. He said he loved me

so

much and this was coming out of nowhere and he couldnt understand why. I told him I was sorry and I was stupid to get mad about it. He said it was nice to be with someone mature enough to talk things through instead of nagging him or allowing it to blow up into a huge fight. He was texting me the rest of the night, I love you

so

much, dont ever doubt that and saying that I was the best thing in his life and absolute best thing to ever happen to him. He begged me to let him come over the next day saying he wanted to see me

so

bad. The next day we did get together and had a good time and everything seemed fine. Then he said something stupid that made him seem like a complete pig and I got angry about it. He tried to ignore the fact that I was angry and just change the subject. I ended up crying because I felt like things were not right, that our relationship was coming to an end. He held me and said he did not want to lose me and that we are perfect for each other and he would never do anything to mess this up. He said he worked

so

hard to be with me and he was not going to mess things up with a great girl. He said he could definitely see himself marrying me one day.

So

we made up and had a great night together with some amazing sex and he held me

so

right afterwards and all he could say was "wow" and "that was amazing and the best ever." The next morning he kissed me before leaving for work and told me he loved me. He texted me a little while later thanking me for such a great night and that it was definitely amazing and he loved me

so

much. We have not fought or spoken about how our relationship is going since Tuesday when we had that last fight. This is Friday and for the past 2 days I have still felt like something is off. Like it is weird talking to him like he is walking on eggshells or I am. Like he doesnt text me as much and when he does its almost like hes forcing himself to tell me he loves me because he knows its what I want to hear. We are going to a wedding together tonight and I was supposed to come up early and lay out in his pool while hes at work. But he texted me this morning saying "good morning sexy, dont know if you want to come get in the pool, its looking ugly out." I told him that I was just thinking I probably wasnt going to because it was supposed to rain. In the past he would of said something like "well come up anyways and just hang out, you know you're welcome anytime." But he didnt. Then I asked him if he was going to have a full day of work because I was going to come up early if he got off work early. He usually can tell me when he thinks he will be able to get off work but alls he said is I dont know babe, ill let you know.

So

I just said "ok have a good day!" and he said nothing back. He did not say I love you either like he usually does.

 

I cant understand what is happening here....maybe its just my imagination. He just said a couple days ago that he still loves me as much as he ever did and told me

im

the best thing in his life and dont ever doubt how much he loves me. Now I feel like a breakup is coming on....like he is changing his mind about me. I dont understand how something

so

perfect and 2 people

so

perfect for each other can fall apart after only 6 months. Maybe it was because we moved

so

fast and had such an intense relationship that it burned out faster. He has told me

so

many times that he has never felt this way about anyone....but his last ex he was with for 2 years and she cheated on him for 4 months and she used him for money and ran up his credit cards and he said it was always all about her and she never did anything for him. He cleaned the house, cooked every meal, and even did her laundry. He said he never saw himself marrying her but even after they broke up because she cheated he tried to make it work again but just didnt look at her the same

so

it didnt work. None of his friends or family liked her either. How can he stay with someone like that for 2 years but his feelings for me might be changing after only 6 months?? I cant wait until I see him today in person and can see how he reacts towards me. If we're going to break up I just want to know

so

I can get on with my life....its the not knowing thats making it

so

hard.

 

Does this relationship seem like its doomed or is there a way it can be saved? This man is the perfect man for me....if I lose him its my fault because of my insecurities and I dont know if I can forgive myself for that. Sure there are other men out there and I could get another man but I dont want anyone else. He is perfect for me and there is no one out there who could compare to him. Seriously.....the odds of finding someone else who is

so

much like me and is exactly what

im

looking for, not to mention 100% trustworthy and treats me wonderfully are slim to none. I could really use some advice on how to save this or if it can be saved. I have been giving him his space, I went out with a friend last night, and I have not let on at all that I have been upset or worried.

[amethyste]

Could you post a shorter & more coherent version of your story?

How old are you (both of you)? Aaaand: you've been with him for 6 months, and one week ago you noticed some so-called "changes"?

[Mack05]

Sorry if I come across as harsh. I think you come across as two really immature people who have no idea what a real relationship entails. A relationship is more then things in common, butterflies, great sex and finishing each others lines. Your view of what real love is, to me is way of the mark. I mean u 2 are in the honeymoon period and u don't even miss him when his gone. Then your feelings "come back". I mean are u kidding me with this?. I don't know any person who wants to be in a relationship with someone whose feelings and moods are unstable.

 

Where is the trust, communication, security?I wouldn't trust or rely on either of you. To me this just is not what a loving committed relationship should be. U sound like you are 16, seriously. If you want my honest opinion, I don't think there is any chance of this relationship working long term. I think you are both very emotionally immature people and until you work on this and your insecurities, you will have the same types of relationships with the same endings.

 

I am sorry for being harsh, I am but that is my honest opinion

[amethyste]

^^ That's what I think too, but I'm still waiting to find out how old they are.

[onlyafool]

A couple of things could be happening. 1. The relationship has cooled off for him and he's losing interest 2. You're relationship might be moving into the long-term phase.

 

I was in this same situation about 2 months ago with my ex. I just had this feeling that something wasn't right, but she would say everything was great. Her actions were telling me a different story though and I'd had enough. I sat her down and had a civilized conversation and the truth came out. Her feelings had changed and she didn't have the same interest she once did. I noted this long before she said the words, based on how she was acting, so I had prepared myself mentally.

 

I'd have a conversation with him about what your seeing and hearing and how the 2 are different. Be polite and don't accuse or he's likely to shut down. I should warn you though, be prepared for the worst, as my motto in this type of situation is ... When something doesn't feel right, you're right.

[Finch]

Many relationships start to go a little bit downhill around the six month mark.

Like Mack said, relationships need to be about more than butterflies and finishing each other's sentences. You're moving out of the honeymoon stage, but I agree you seem quite young and/or naive about what the reality of a relationship is.

If you want the relationship to continue you need to work on make it stronger and finding a bond that is deeper than just sex and proclaiming how perfect you are for each other. Unless you actively work on it and try to cultivate these things the relationship won't have a chance to grow and as such will most likely wither and fail.