eddee Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 (edited) I dont know if anybody can help me or advise me? Feel like I'm going crazy. I came out of a marriage last year inwhich I was with him for 9 years. had really been over for two before we separated. After I left maybe a couple of months later I started dating someone (crazy I know) thought I was healed from prior but obviously not. I was having a great time dating and didnt think I was gona fall at all. things kinda went fast more on his side than mine but I started to fall in love with him,everything was fine till about JAnuary when stuff from my prior relationship came up and have been a mess since then. got scared big time and screwed up this new realtionship that was great.I freaked out and broke up with this guy like 5 times until he had enough and this was back in March. We have been in touch via txt mostly me initiating it since then. We also have spent some nights together since. He has been badly hurt in the past too so I think we are both soo scared. Tried talking but we do and then we both back off.Very frustrating as hes closed up now. He no longer contacts me. We did go for drinks last wk and chemistry is till there but dont want to bring up us trying again.My divorce is through in a month. I know now I should have waited and I have told him this as I am dealing with my issues from my past, but its been a year since ive met this guy so i dont think its a rebound. Should I just let him go as i hurt him and me or wait patiently for him? Any advice would be great thank you Edited July 29, 2011 by eddee
Mack05 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Eddee in hindsight it was probably too soon to start dating again. If you don't deal with emotions/feelings from a previous relationship it comes to bite u back in time. 9 years is a long time. Too many people want to avoid dealing with pain/fear of being alone so they jump into a new relationship. All that does is paint over the cracks. Feelings are like weeds. If you don't deal with them they end up running wild. It would be wise to let him go and focus on yourself. Stop all means of contact, dont look at Facebook/twitter. Focus on your healing. Once u have done this, then you will be in a better position to be in a healthy relationship going forward. I would recommend a book called "Getting past your breakup" by Susan J Elliot.
Author eddee Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 thanks for your input. thats what my family and friends keep telling me, I suppose I know deep deep down its right. follow my head this time. Sucks but i suppose I knew this. thank you. I really appreciate it, felt like I was goin crazy. the worst part of all this is Im from another country and moved ehre tobe with my ex so when it got done i went right into another so moving home dealing with my divorce is right, just will have to say goodbye as once i move probably wont see the guy i started dating again ever. Sucks. thank you again.
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