gardengnome Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 At the end of 2008 l discovered my partner of 5yrs had been cheating on me with a girl from work. I moved out and left him, however in 2009 we eventually resolved to work things out. This whole thing completely devastated me coz l never saw it coming. Since then we bought a house and had a daughter (3mths). This week he told me that the CSA (child support agency) had contacted him by phone at work asking to confirm who he was and did not give any more details. Basically the OW it seems has had a baby plus my man lied as to when this affair ended if it did as this child is only a couple of weeks older than mine. I feel like a complete idiot and don't know what to do. A child is completely innocent and my partner is saying he will completely cut it out of our lives if l stay with him however l don't agree with this a child has the right to financial and emotional support from its father. I'm so angry right now plus l have no one to talk too about this. I feel he has put me at risk of STIs as l have no clue as to the OWs sexual history plus this will crucify us financially wether we stay together or not. Thanks
jnj express Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Why would you have let him talk you into getting back together---did you have no self-respect, there are plenty of other men out there---or was this pathetic POS, the only thing you could find Now you are stuck with a child, a house, and his responsibility for another child for the next 18 yrs----and don't you let him back out of his obligation to support his kid. Sell the house, get custody of your child, make sure he pays child support---(now he will be supporting 2 women with children, but so what---he made his bed he gets to sleep in it)---and get the he*l away from this guy---he is bad medicine You wanna know something, there are lots of men out there, a lot of bad ones, but FUNNY THING, there ARE a lot of wonderful men out there, who would love a chance with a good solid woman!!!!!!!They may not be hunks, or overly handsome, but they are solid, have jobs, morals, class, and they would love to have the chance to take care of you------You won't have to live the rest of your life in misery, as you are with the scum that you live with now.
KathyM Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 At the end of 2008 l discovered my partner of 5yrs had been cheating on me with a girl from work. I moved out and left him, however in 2009 we eventually resolved to work things out. This whole thing completely devastated me coz l never saw it coming. Since then we bought a house and had a daughter (3mths). This week he told me that the CSA (child support agency) had contacted him by phone at work asking to confirm who he was and did not give any more details. Basically the OW it seems has had a baby plus my man lied as to when this affair ended if it did as this child is only a couple of weeks older than mine. I feel like a complete idiot and don't know what to do. A child is completely innocent and my partner is saying he will completely cut it out of our lives if l stay with him however l don't agree with this a child has the right to financial and emotional support from its father. I'm so angry right now plus l have no one to talk too about this. I feel he has put me at risk of STIs as l have no clue as to the OWs sexual history plus this will crucify us financially wether we stay together or not. Thanks Wow, too bad you took him back after he cheated on you. That was a no no. He is a liar and a cheater. Since you are not married, I'd leave him if I were you. You don't need this crap in your life.
YellowShark Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 So if I read correctly. Your boyfriend-of-5-years cheated with a girl from work, you split, then you got back together and bought a house and had a baby. Then you find out he's lied as to when the affair ended, and fathered another child with his affair partner...(the girl from work.) I would say this man doesn't respect ethical boundaries at work, or in his relationships. I would advise not planning a future with him.
Spark1111 Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Is he denying paternity? Is he convinced it is his child? I would advise a paternity test, first, to ensure IT IS his biological child. Then you have a lot of decisions to make about your finances, your future and this man. But make sure the other child is truly his. That's the first step, unfortunately.
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