babyygirllhi Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 He is 22, im 24. It wasnt like it came gradually, from the beginning he was very independent and wasnt prepared to fall in love. It was his first time. But he couldnt not be with me. he told me when we met that he saw himself being who he wants to be at age 30. never thought about marriage either. however that changed after i explained my idea of love,and he still says he loves how i see love. It feels like evrything is black and white with him. He doesnt talk about emotions much at all. I mean, he is sensitive and can cry to a sad movie, but he doesn't talk about what he is feeling and he doesnt communicate. etc. And to be honest, i dont think he knows what he is feeling when he feels things. He says he is still in love with me, and i FEEL that he is just as in love as when we met. He says im the perfect girl in every way and his best friend. i thnk he just sees it black/white..no inbetween. but i tried SO hard to keep him, telling him that i would be understanding etc. but no, he needs to be ALONE.I got it out of him that he could see us together in the future, but doesnt want to say that bc he needs to be alone and if he knows im waiting, that will rush him, etc. He even said at one point "I want to be alone for years". To be honest... He just overall wants to do WHATVER he wants, when he wants. And he can't handle anyone telling him what to do. (However, he isnt a jerk in anyway,he is very calm and kind, but on the inside he can't handle this). He thinks that people should be able to do whatever they want... he doesn't want to work, in other words. Hed rather go off and travel, see and learn things, etc. He broke up completely, even after I gave him many options. He doesn't know how to deal with a relationship. Im his first, and I had to teach him a LOT. we "broke up" many times during the relationship bc i could feel that he wasn't all in it. We had been together 24/7 for 11 months .. jumped straight into a serious relationship. and we were out traveling a bit along with livng in my city where he had nothing to do. i had to study. It was when we came back that he broke up. I became VERY needy, which I think pushed him away more. Oops:( We have talked 1 time in the past 2 weeks. He called and was telling me how he is lost, doesnt know what he wants in life. He just doesnt want to work, he wants to be able to do what he wants, build himself as a person. I guess he will have to experience things to realize that cant happen. I ended the convo and he sounded a little surprised (i have been there for him every second, anytime, through the whole relationship). also, im moving (we were suppose to move together) and when i told him he said he can come to me on his way back home before I move. i said no its not a good idea. and he said nervously "well we can talk about it later, dont decide now". then he sent a text after saying "your words are wisdom to me, you know me. its hard to talk but i think its good for both of us. talk to you after italy. have fun!" (im going to italy tomorrow for 5 days). I can't see him though. Knowing him, even if he is dying on the inside when he sees me, he wont even be able to say somehing like "wow, I have missed you and this feels amazing, but I still need to be alone". He will just act like a friend and try to respect not showing his feelings towards me. And this is why he has really confused me. Have I given him too much love so that he feels like im a crutch? If i ignore him when he tries calling or texting, will this scare him? Im so in love, however I can see that it's with a guy who has no idea what he wants and im scared. Most of all, I just believe he is VERRRY immature. And his parents are SO calm, that they dont talk to him or try to push him int he right direction, so he hasnever had anyone telling him what to do. Btw, him not being able to express himself etc. Is this immaturity? Or is this a personality trait? Will it change or no? I have opened him up more than anyone in his life, he told me... and he is the kind of guy who listens to what someone says and learns, changes. he isnt the dating type either, or partier.
CaliBabe Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 i am on the same boat girlfriend. my ltr broke up with me cause of fighting and distance. he is currently single as well. i THINK it could have been a fight or flight response. some men who have these personalities cant handle their feelings and flee instead of facing it head on. its easier to walk away. i feel he will realise it after with sometime. give him his space and do you. hopefully everything will work its way out.
Recommended Posts