Gema1986 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Hey guys, just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. I have been seeing a guy for around 4 months & it all moved really fast, felt like we'd been together for years! We got on all the time, never argued, never disagreed - every moment we spent together was amazing. We both have children from previous relationships & both work shifts so we only saw each other 2-3 times a week, but we made the most of that time. Things were great up until he started spending time with my kids when his werent around. He used to find it upsetting & felt guilty that his kids were not there. His ex also has a new man living with her so he is finding that hard to deal with also. On weds night I went to see him to talk to him as he's seemed a little distant & he said he needs some space & time to work his head out. He seemed really unsure of what was wrong, said obviously the kids situation bothered him, he also said something about hes been in a relationship more or less since he was 19 (hes now 30) & feels like he needs a bit of time alone, not to go sleeping around or messing about - he's genuinely not like that. He seemed really messed up, like he had so much going around in his head but couldnt get the words out. He said that he feels like a total idiot because I'm the perfect woman for me, he loves me & everything about me. Said I've never done anything wrong, I'm his ideal woman. I asked if this was a final thing or just a temporary thing & his reply was he really doesnt know. He doesnt know if he'll ever feel different & if he will whether that will be in 2 months, 2 years etc. I'm just finding it really hard because like he said I've done nothing wrong. Everything was perfect & I thought I'd found 'the one'. I've not texted him & decided to give him some space, but do I keep my hopes up that in time he'll come round with a bit of counselling maybe? Or just expect things to never return?
TheDovic Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I think this guy is really feeling a lot of guilt and sadness. In my opinion he is feeling guilty that he is not with his kids all the time. I have a friend in a very similar situation to yours and he can't stop feeling he's let his children down by leaving them. He tries to spend as much time as possible with them and when he's not with them he is a shell of a man, not the funny and confident guy others perceive him to be. He may also be sad his ex is with someone else, because you know yourself, being with someone for so long you're bound to have really strong feelings for them. So strong in fact that even if it didn't work with them it would still be really difficult to see them with someone else. Anyway, my friend (who also works shifts incidently) told me on Thursday he wants to get some sort of medical help before starting something else because he feels really messed up inside. Maybe your man is feeling the same!
Author Gema1986 Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 He has no issues with his ex being with someone else, he cant stand the woman plus they've been together since september so he's had time to deal with that. I've suggested he gets some counselling or something to help him. But I am hoping deep down he gets the help he needs then realises that we had something good. Well he knows we had something good, we adored each other but he just cant overcome the kids situation & I dont know what else is bothering him, if it is. Its just so hard, I want to wait for him because i know we are perfect together. Its only been a couple of days but i miss him holding me, i miss sitting stroking his body, i miss lying on the sofa cuddling watching telly, I miss cooking a meal together. I miss his kids. I cant let go, I dont want to let go.
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