CantLoseHer Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Just fair warning, this is a long post which will cover most of my relationship. Me and my ex knew each other through sr. year of high school. She knew that I liked her and in December we were at a friends house and we ended up making out, after that I told her that I liked her a lot and so on, but she said that she didn't feel the same way, however, we were still pretty much best friends at school and everything. She then dated another guy, and "cheated" on him by making out with my old best friend, and this seriously angered me. Then she broke up with her bf then and we hung out again and once again had a one night of kissing and the same thing happened, and she went to the ex bf she cheated on because she was apparently already supposed to go out on a date with him and felt bad for what she did to him and so on. Later on, she realized that he was boring and dull, and she ended up taking a chance with me because I was what she was looking for. So we were happy and in love and we lost our virginity together, and then a couple of months after, I became upset feeling like I was a last resort, and I was angry that she fooled around with her ex, and she hasn't fooled around with anyone before him, and it made me upset that I wasn't the first, etc.. Like because it wasn't picture perfect, it drove me into depression and anger. And throughout the relationship I've been off and on about that, however, it was progressively getting better and I wouldn't get mad at her for it or anything. And I know that she sincerely felt bad for how everything went down and wished that she realized that I was "the one" sooner. Later on during college, there was an incident where she thought I was cheating or wanted to be with a girl who was a friend of mine and lived at the same dorm as me (my gf was about a hr away and we saw each other 3 times a week) anyways, she broke up with me then. I finally convinced her to get back with me and I could tell she wasn't okay with everything still, but when she got upset about that girl, I reassured her that she was and will be the only girl I ever love and care about and that I never cheated on her, or thought about it, etc.. Eventually she cared less and less about that. Finally school was out, I was home, and our relationship continued. I guess in the recent month (15th) I became less in tune to her needs, and wasn't emotionally supporting her through anything, and appearing to care less (even though I still cared idk what I was really thinking during that time). And this girl cared for me a lot, she would make me dinner, tell me she loved me, she was always there and always reassuring, never cheated on me once, assured me even if my insecurities came up, etc. And I suppose it was emotionally draining to her which I now realize, and I really wish I could do the same for her. Anyways, she broke up with me on sunday 7/24 because she wasn't getting the emotional support from our relationship she wanted, and that "this is a breakup not a work-on". She said after the college incident, the last year has been hard on her, and that nothing will change her mind, that I need to appreciate what was there but find something new. She said that she wants to focus on herself and make herself happy, which is what happened when she broke up w/ me before, however, that time wasn't really beneficial because we were pretty much back together after a week. Anyways, I love this girl so much, and no its not just because I lost her, but I truly think she is a wonderful person, and I appreciate everything that she did for me so much. I really want to show her that I want to actually try and be a better, more affectionate person. I honestly would do anything to make it up to this girl. And i stumbled upon a facebook post where she was talking to a friend and said that its hard because she truly loves me but she doesnt want to get back with me because I'm not the one or something of that. And we work together, however, we have different schedules so I'm hoping we dont run into each other that much (I'm leaving 3weeks due to school). She said that she wants space to get over me etc. So I have been trying to respect her wishes and have no contact, but its pretty hard for me, but I am gonna go for the 3 week mark without talking to her. I feel like it sucks hearing that I'm not the one, which means maybe she will look elsewhere, but idk. I don't want her to see anyone else, but I know I can't control that and I need to let her do her own thing. But I want her to know that I seriously love her and want to fight for her. And I know if I talk to her now she will become more angry and distant towards me, but idk, I just can't lose her, because she means everything to me. And I know what we said in our relationship wasn't just empty words. I love her and want her back. Not because I'm weak or can't be without someone, but I truly love her and want to give her everything in the world that she deserves. Idk what I really expected out of this post, I know I need to "move on" in a sense and be productive towards me and hit the gym, but its pretty hard when all I think about is her. I'd appreciate any advice on how to cope with the three week no contact period and be able to sleep, or how to win my best friends heart back.
TheDovic Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 First of all sorry to hear about this mate... it SUCKS!!! Try reading breakup books etc... that's what I have been doing. Might help you make sense of the break up and even give you tips on what you can do to get her back. You never know, what you're doing at the minute might be hurting your chances of ever getting her back. Good luck (ps if u get a chance would u mind looking at my post?) thanks
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