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Cheated on BF but did think I made things worst by laughing

Nabely

By Nabely
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Nabely Member

Nabely

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Sorry, but chances are, you lost him. You could try to write him a letter conveying how sorry you are, but don't expect a response, you probably won't get one.
I already did through his email and got no reply yet. Though I noticed he logged in recently in facebook, a couple hours ago and I'm still in his list. He hasn't changed the status yet.
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Nabely Member

Nabely

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Ok nevermind, I'm now looking at a new message and it's from him. Will come back later.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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^^^ Yeah, that's productive.^^^^^

 

Keep in mind, this is a kid here. Someone, that screwed up and we're trying to reset a moral compass here. But, none the less, still a kid.

Rinas Established Member

Rinas

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Hope this guy finds himself a sweet new girl. Live & move on.

Professor X Established Member

Professor X

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Ok nevermind, I'm now looking at a new message and it's from him. Will come back later.

 

No offense but you really need to let this guy go; The way you feel towards him is incredibly different that how he feels towards you (if you feel anything towards him anyway).

 

Take the time off and try to figure yourself out: Why did you laugh at him? Why did you kiss another man and why did you think that he shouldn't of just forget and move on? Is this kind of behavior is acceptable by you? What do you expect from others? What do you expect from yourself (if anything at all)?

Memphis Raines Established Member

Memphis Raines

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I'm only 16 (my birthday was on June) and it was just making-out. I admit it was funny seeing my BF cried when he saw the kiss. It's not like I sleep around. I was trying to be as serious as possible but end up laughing that I almost lost my balance.

 

I never understood how anyone can cry over a kiss? Ok don't get me wrong, I do feel terrible but not to the point of ''Oh it's the end of the world, I done the worst thing ever, will you ever forgive me'' thing. I feel bad but not that extreme.

 

Anyways I didn't mean to laugh but couldn't help it. I did apologized afterwards but he hasn't really talked much. Will he be ok again?

 

your apology was a lie if you thought it was funny.

 

ya, he'll be just fine. don't worry about him. he'll feel silly crying over a cold hearted, fickle girl and realize you did him a favor.

 

he'll look back at this and think, "how stupid it was to cry over someone like her"

Memphis Raines Established Member

Memphis Raines

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So can someone tell me a way to make him feel better? I'm running out of ideas.

 

ya, leave him alone. trust me, he'll realize sooner or later just how so not worth it you really are and will be glad to let you be some other guy's problem.

Sebastian76 Member

Sebastian76

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yeah you're just young and immature. I think you hurt him much more than you can comprehend by laughing at his pain, so don't expect him coming back. You shouldn't even let him come back if he wanted to, because if he does he's a total doormat that you will dump eventually - hurting him once more!

 

Hope you learned an important lesson about how painful love can feel and treat the guys in your future with more respect and care for their feelings.

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Nabely Member

Nabely

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he will learn not to cry for a b!tch like u r, and dont laugh at people u punk goofy head.
Ok you have been reported.
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Nabely Member

Nabely

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Take the time off and try to figure yourself out: Why did you laugh at him? Why did you kiss another man and why did you think that he shouldn't of just forget and move on? Is this kind of behavior is acceptable by you? What do you expect from others? What do you expect from yourself (if anything at all)?

Like I said before, the laughing wasn't really intentionally but a reaction I couldn't help. I was really trying to be as serious as possible but it came out in giggles.

Why I kissed another man? I don't know why. I think it was because we got into getting to know each other and was beginning to have a crush on him. He was very cute and I stupidly got tempted but I learned already.

Why I thought at first he would forget and move on from this? I wasn't thinking it was that serious and clearly wasn't thinking with my head.

What I expect from others? It would depend on who you're referring to. If it's a couple of acquaintances from school and not my best friends, I expect nothing from them. If it's people closed to me, I expect them to be there for me when I need help and not turn their backs on me.

What I expect from myself? I'll give in as much as I can.

 

Ok no he hasn't broken up with me but will give it another try, though he doesn't seem to want to kiss me anymore. I went to his house today a couple hours ago and we were hanging out. It seem weird because he wasn't touching me as before, just us walking a bit apart and can get somewhat quiet. Once again I apologized to him what I did. I'm really sorry now.

 

Is it now going to be like this? I'm trying to make him feel better. Or will it eventually get to how it was before I got stupid?

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Nabely Member

Nabely

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No, he won't. He'll be breaking up with you soon.
Well he didn't but it's not the same as it used to be. I think I'm losing track of how many times I've apologized to him (think this makes it the 4th time).
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Nabely Member

Nabely

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You cheated on him and then humiliated him. Men and boys do not tolerate humiliation. Things will not be the same. He will break up with you. The only question is what revenge he's planning first.
Can you stop being soooo mean. I know it was wrong but I'm trying to fix this.

So you're saying there is no way to make him feel better again? I wanna make him happy.

rafallus Established Member

rafallus

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Can you stop being soooo mean. I know it was wrong but I'm trying to fix this.

So you're saying there is no way to make him feel better again? I wanna make him happy.

 

Depending on the person, it may not be possible at all. Sometimes no amount of fixing will cut it, and you just have to accept that you blew this one.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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You just learned something new. Once a person cheats in a relationship, then relationship will NEVER be the same again. I know that you WANT things to go back to normal; to the way things were. But, that's gone.

 

Even if he starts to feel happy again. He'll probably trigger, meaning that something will remind him of that time thhat you cheated on him and laughed in his face about it. I know you'll tell me that it was unintentional; however, it still happened and he's going to be back to square one.

MusicMan1234 Member

MusicMan1234

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Wow, when I read that you kissed another guy apart from your boyfriend, in front on your boyfriend and then laughed in your boyfriends face, it made me feel sick and very sad that there is someone like you in the world. You are either a sociopath or incredibly, incredibly immature, even for your age.

 

But i'm here to be contructive and helpful, so here you go. You obviously don't respect him at all and for one reason or another you seek validification from another man. You said you just kinda developed a crush on this other guy. Well, if you are in a relationship, then you should have a crush ON YOUR BOYFRIEND and no one else, or at least have to strength of character to supress your desires for the other guy.

 

I don't know why you are even on here as you obviously don't have genuine feelings for your boyfriend, if you even have the capacity to have feelings for another human being. Let me quote you a line. 'Women don't understand the territory because they ARE the territory'. You probably don't get what the big deal is et cetera et cetera, but that's partly because you're a chick and partly because you're young. But basically, IT IS EXTREMLY PAINFUL TO SEE A PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT BE PHYSICALLY INTIMATE WITH OTHER. If you showed some remorse he may have bounced back from this, but the fact that you then LAUGHED IN HIS FACE!?!?!? Well, he pretty much hates you now and he's just stringing you along until he can find the most painful way to dump you possible, probably making out with one of your friends in front of you or something. Either than or he is a wuss who has no self-esteem, and you'll probably end up dumping him later for some badboy, hurting him again and completly detroying his capacity to trust or care for another for the rest of his life. Well done, well done.

 

Do this, imagine your best friend making out with him and then him walking over to you a laughing at you. How does this make you feel? If it makes you feel bad then you may care about him in the tiniest, tiniest amount. What I don't understand is why you felt the need to seek validification from another man. I'm guessing daddy wasn't around much when you were growing up? :rolleyes:

MusicMan1234 Member

MusicMan1234

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Well he didn't but it's not the same as it used to be. I think I'm losing track of how many times I've apologized to him (think this makes it the 4th time).

 

P.S: You apologised FOUR TIMES!?!?!? AWWW MAH LAWWD he's CRAZY for not taking you back!!!:rolleyes:

It's gonna take more than that dear. If you really care about him, put in more effort. Or subject yourself to the same level of humiliation that he felt. Be creative and THOUGHTFUL (what's that?)

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Nabely Member

Nabely

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You just learned something new. Once a person cheats in a relationship, then relationship will NEVER be the same again. I know that you WANT things to go back to normal; to the way things were. But, that's gone.
I'll keep that in mind. Now I know it'll take a while for it to be almost the same or maybe not. I didn't know what this would caused. I really wasn't thinking.

Even if he starts to feel happy again. He'll probably trigger, meaning that something will remind him of that time thhat you cheated on him and laughed in his face about it. I know you'll tell me that it was unintentional; however, it still happened and he's going to be back to square one.
Do you know about how long this will take? I knew I blew it BIG TIME. I just wanna let him know I care about him and don't ever do that again. Today it got kinda quiet, we kissed once but he pulled away and then later it seem like he was about to cry again. This time I didn't laughed (actually I tried going for another kiss, apologizing at the same time again but he pulled away). I'm trying my best to make things better.

 

So do you know what it'll take for him to get better again? I was thinking of writing him a poetry about how special he is.

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Nabely Member

Nabely

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I'm guessing daddy wasn't around much when you were growing up? :rolleyes:
Not really. He sits on the couch watching TV and drinking all day long if that's what you called a daddy.

 

I feel his pain now. I would be upset if my best friend made-out with bf and possible not talk to her no more. He means a lot to me, really.

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Nabely Member

Nabely

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P.S: You apologised FOUR TIMES!?!?!? AWWW MAH LAWWD he's CRAZY for not taking you back!!!
Make that like the 5-6th time now and yes he did took me back or he would break up and changed the status on his facebook.

It's gonna take more than that dear. If you really care about him, put in more effort. Or subject yourself to the same level of humiliation that he felt. Be creative and THOUGHTFUL (what's that?)
Yes I do care about him. I'm thinking of doing something creative like writing a poem to him. Will that work at least a bit?
Professor X Established Member

Professor X

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I'll keep that in mind. Now I know it'll take a while for it to be almost the same or maybe not. I didn't know what this would caused. I really wasn't thinking.

Do you know about how long this will take? I knew I blew it BIG TIME. I just wanna let him know I care about him and don't ever do that again. Today it got kinda quiet, we kissed once but he pulled away and then later it seem like he was about to cry again. This time I didn't laughed (actually I tried going for another kiss, apologizing at the same time again but he pulled away). I'm trying my best to make things better.

 

So do you know what it'll take for him to get better again? I was thinking of writing him a poetry about how special he is.

 

Poetry of how special he is? No, that's a very bad idea; It's equivalent of stabbing him with a knife and then twisting it inside of him.

 

Men are a very visual being, you must always remember this, and therefor, every time he looks at you he sees you kissing another man, he sees you laughing at him as well - which is exactly why he's backing off.

 

If you do care about him, I think you need to back off and let him go.

 

Stop being so selfish, the signs are all there.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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I'll keep that in mind. Now I know it'll take a while for it to be almost the same or maybe not. I didn't know what this would caused. I really wasn't thinking.

Do you know about how long this will take? I knew I blew it BIG TIME. I just wanna let him know I care about him and don't ever do that again. Today it got kinda quiet, we kissed once but he pulled away and then later it seem like he was about to cry again. This time I didn't laughed (actually I tried going for another kiss, apologizing at the same time again but he pulled away). I'm trying my best to make things better.

 

So do you know what it'll take for him to get better again? I was thinking of writing him a poetry about how special he is.

 

You can't put a time frame on something like this, everyone is different. It could take weeks, months or YEARS. You really aren't getting how fragile the male ego really is. You can tell him that you love him and care for him and ONLY him until the cows come home. Right now, your actions spoke louder than your words. Now, you need to re-affirm to him that you are sorry and you need to keep telling him that you are sorry for however, long it takes him to heal from this.

 

Another thing, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Don't try to force kisses or any affections on him right now. Hugs, kisses and affections are good and they are nice, but don't force it thinking that if he accepts these things from you, you two can go back to the way things were. Affections won't void out what happened. He'll approach you for these things when he's comfortable and ready. I would ask permission before you do anything. " Is it alright for me to give you a hug right now?" "Is it alright for a kiss?" You don't know what his comfort level is right now, so respect his boundaries.

Memphis Raines Established Member

Memphis Raines

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She's 16. Why not go flame someone closer to your age. Your rudeness and vile has no boundaries. :sick::sick::sick::sick:

 

ah, so she laughs at his pain, and I'm rude. LMFAO:lmao::lmao:

 

she laughed at him because she is a 16 yo narcissist. she got off on the fact that she caused this kid pain.

 

she needs to realize he will be fine once he realizes she wasn't worth wasting a tear on.

Zaphod B Established Member

Zaphod B

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So do you know what it'll take for him to get better again? I was thinking of writing him a poetry about how special he is.

 

Many years ago when my ex wife cheated on me (after only one year of marriage - and we had an active sex life and great communication), I did not want her touching or kissing me either. It took a couple of weeks before I was willing to be intimate with her again, but even then it was even longer before we had sex again. However it did irrepairable damage to our marriage. From there things deteriorated... slowly but surely, because I could never really trust her again after that. We remained together for many years and I did grow more confident, but then about 7 years later she cheated again. I was a glutton for punishment and still took her back, but then a couple of years later we called it quits. Cheating definitely destroys relationships.

 

Sure you may have only kissed and it might be possible that you will work through it, but I would doubt it will ever be the same again and it will never be permanent. And I tend to go along with the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater", because my ex-wife showed me that.

MusicMan1234 Member

MusicMan1234

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Nabely, it's good that you are remorseful for your actions because what you did was pretty much ammoral. I'm actually suprised he took you back, but it seems like he's mentally ejecting from the relationship. I'm not sure if there is much to do at this point, but keep in mind it's the little gestures that are important. He may not want to be physically intimate right now, but that's not his fault, he's just protecting himself emotionally from you. You need to make sure he understands that you made a mistake due to your emotional immaturity and did not understand the kind of pain your actions would cause him. And like I said, the little gestures that say 'I care' are important right now. Cook him breakfast, buy him something he may like or something. At first he might not want to eat your food but persist and let him know you're coming from a place of remorse and concern. It's all about him now, you essentially forfeited your rights in the relationship when you cheated on him.

Edited by MusicMan1234
lino Established Member

lino

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Just leave this guy alone.

Find another man & don't cheat again.

 

Whether 16 or 96, kissing another guy infront of your boyfriend, then laughing at him is appalling.

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