On-line dating has made me nuts. !

[temporaryvisa]

My moms actually gorgeous, but m-kay. LOL@ your mama comment. lets see your face bro.

[mplsmjones]

Wow, feelsgoodman, are you an ugly fat older woman or something...Why the bitterness...jesus ****in christ, she is a good looking lady. get over it.

 

Thank you! TemporaryVisa. I sincerely appreciate your kindness and other's kindness in their responses. It's so nice and refreshing that another female would stand up for me. Usually I am the punching bag for unfortunate looking and immature women.

 

TemporaryVisa, I think that it's wonderful that you know where you are right now with your life. You are very pretty...I'm sure you'll look much better than I when you are my age!

 

Just for the record, I won't settle, nor do I need to. Most of the men that contact me are under the age of 40. They have children. Some of them are very nice looking and we get along well, However they are missing that "certain something."

 

The reason that I've lowered by age requirement is not because they all look like our friend Larry the Cable Guy...I will respond to 50 year olds. I did it because I had so many 55+ respond. Most of those guys have grown children...most over 50 have grown children and have no common ground where I am in life with a seven year old.

 

I am debating whether or not to post my profile. I see my photos and my posting has kicked up some dust.

 

Nurse...I have a MS and I'm contemplating Law School right now. Drop that off my profile?

[mplsmjones]

No, you are confusing me with your mom. The OP asked what her problem was. I gave her an honest answer.

 

Your truth is seriously warped. It's very sad that you are so unfortunate that you must take pot shots at any one that you don't feel "understands your truth".

 

Insulting this lady's parents?

 

I usually don't respond to people like you. And I think that I'll stop because people with personality disorders just keep on insulting others.

 

Thank you for your two cents. Fortunately in this economy...that means it's worth nothing.

Edited July 29, 2011 by mplsmjones

[Feelsgoodman]

Your truth is seriously warped. It's very sad that you are so unfortunate that you must take pot shots at any one that you don't feel "understands your truth".

 

Insulting this lady's parents?

 

I usually don't respond to people like you. And I think that I'll stop because people with personality disorders just keep on insulting others.

 

Thank you for your two cents. Fortunately in this economy...that means it's worth nothing.

You are either a troll or an extremely delusional individual.

[mplsmjones]

suggestion: try okcupid, it's free as well.

 

from a man's standpoint, okc has by far the best format. POF is just glorified craigslist, match is slanted toward women (by being more formal with the questions/answers and not inviting women to type enough for men to write good first messages with).

 

i'm not using the dating sites anymore, but when i did, after using them all for awhile i much preferred okc than any of the others.

 

Thanks Neal! I'll have a look into that! It's good to have a man's standpoint.

[mplsmjones]

Well, can I be blunt?

 

First of all, you might want to expand your age-range up. Guys in their late 30's tend to be looking for women who are in their 30's (or 20's) as well. If you make contact with someone great who is 36, fantastic. But if your restricting yourself to guys younger than 45, it's going to be slim pickings for you. It's just going to be a tough sell for a single mom in her 40's, to appeal to a male in his late 30's who has no kids AND who has options.

 

Secondly, have you tried writing the guys you could be interested in, first?

 

Third, what is the text of your profile?

 

Actually as said before I have great luck with guys in their late thirties. They seem to be in the same situation I am, with kids roughly the same age as mine. Second...guys closer to fifty have kids in college and I've nothing in common with them. There's slim pickings in all of these age groups. Not just 38 to 45. I've went out with three guys age 46+ with NO kids. Nothing in common there. I've met one guy over the age of 47 who had three little boys and one was my son's age. I adored him, but well, our timing wasn't right and I wish him the best. He's now 51. Wish his dad didn't die when we first started dating.

 

I've not tried to write guys that I'm interested in. But I'm beginning to.

[musemaj11]

Hurry? I'm old, dude. I'm not been in a hurry. But I would like to find some one that I'm compatible so I can have sex with on a regular bases before I die.

I didnt know 40 year old women still want to have sex.

[mplsmjones]

I didnt know 40 year old women still want to have sex.

 

Apparently the men under 30 in my city think contrary.

 

No I don't live in a museum. I live in the mortuary. I dead, but not a relic.

[musemaj11]

I remember overhearing a jaded divorced woman in her 40s who said that she hated men and enjoyed being alone and the only time she thought about dating was when she couldnt help but feeling horny during that time of the month.

[mplsmjones]

I remember overhearing a jaded divorced woman in her 40s who said that she hated men and enjoyed being alone and the only time she thought about dating was when she couldnt help but feeling horny during that time of the month.

 

 

I know of women like that. I also know of women that are married like that, too.

 

Get this...I want to contribute to the happiness of the right man. I want to cook, I want to press his shirts and stay out of his way during a football game he's glued to (but still bring him a beer).

 

Yephers, I am delusional.

[Sanman]

You've been divorced five years? So, I can assume the last time you dated you were late 20's/early 30's and childless? The shoe tends to be a bit more on the other foot now. Sure, you can get younger guys to sleep with you. However, that is because the cougar thing is in now and many guys have figured out that it is easier to sleep with a good looking 40 year old than a average 20 something these days. Take it from a guy in his late 20s. I like the suggestions about moving your age range up, looking for other divorced parents, and trying OKC. I wouldn't drop the education details. Some guys are looking for educate women. I know I am/was. That said, while some of the guys here are being harsh, it is possible you are being a little too picky. You say that there are slim pickings, but mentioned that you have met good guys that you simply did not 'feel it' with. I think your mindset maybe stuck in your old frame of reference when single and childless. A lot of the good guys I know in your dating range are the ones that are still married. The late thirties guys have many choices among the early thirties and freaking out that they are still single crowd. The pickings are simply slimmer. You may want to adjust the physical expectations a bit if you find a good guy otherwise. Just some food for thought.

[mplsmjones]

you're overly made up in your pic. it says high mainenence. next.

 

 

Yeah, you guys are assuming a lot of stuff that just isn't correct.

 

I was looking to broden my scope with new ideas. But instead I have a bunch of judgemental individuals that seem to know it all.

 

The cougar thing and being stuck in my 20s/childless. Nope...you're wronge. Guys in their late 30s just want to sleep with me? Yeah they do, but the good ones that I have dated have not been like that at all. They are looking to remarry. I narrow my fields by core values, they tend to be a bit more on the "upper scale of society" in terms of values and belief systems.

 

Too picky...nope wrong again...unless you consider that I won't date guys with STDs or ones that are married. Then yeah...I'm too picky.

 

Too made up? In my profile photo or the one that I posted?

 

I only have lip stick and mascara on in the profile pic. Maybe lip gloss on in the one that I posted.

 

Am I dealing with a pile of judgemental, homely, immature, uneducated group of idiots or what?

 

I've read some of the posts from those whom have responded so judge mentally toward me. I can say that don't feel very badly about what you've said about me.

[JHS]

Hello,

 

I'm new to this form so please bare with me.

 

I need some help from people about the delimia that I've had with on-line dating. After been doing this for a bit over two years I've had many married men, men that have lied, men that end up having an STD after having dated them a bit (not sex) and flakes.

 

After my experience on POF, I decided that I would move to a paid site and I'm on Match.com. Okay....so I don't get nearly the dates on that site, but I know that 1 out of every 5 are NOT married. I'm not running into married men on that site, so it's saving me time and energy. On POF I could have three dates a week, on Match, I've been on there roughly 9 or 10 weeks and I've dated three guys only a couple of times each.

 

Here's the reality. On Match in 10 weeks or so I've had over 5700 views to date. Maybe 50 emailes or winks but most of them are from guys that are way to old or that look like Larry the Cable Guy.

 

There are some liars on this site, but I've already unfortunately dated them on POF until I found out what lies they were dishing me.

 

I really am ready to meet the right guy, but this has been maddening. I think that I've been through about 100 guys in two years. WOW!

 

Let me discribe myself and if I can I will post a photo. I'm a single divorced mother, I'm a building inspector, a home owner and world traveled. I work out all of the time, I'm well read and I do whatever I can to work on myself. Great cook, too.

 

It's not making any sense.

 

Any ideas what my problem might be?

 

OH and one more thing. I looking for guys between 35 and 46. I'm 43. However, I value anyone's input no matter their age.

 

Thanks! Marie

 

 

I think one of the things you are doing wrong is thinking that you are doing something wrong. On-line dating is insane (as you have learned) and because it is so doesn't make you nuts.

[thatone]

Yeah, you guys are assuming a lot of stuff that just isn't correct.

 

I was looking to broden my scope with new ideas. But instead I have a bunch of judgemental individuals that seem to know it all.

 

The cougar thing and being stuck in my 20s/childless. Nope...you're wronge. Guys in their late 30s just want to sleep with me? Yeah they do, but the good ones that I have dated have not been like that at all. They are looking to remarry. I narrow my fields by core values, they tend to be a bit more on the "upper scale of society" in terms of values and belief systems.

 

Too picky...nope wrong again...unless you consider that I won't date guys with STDs or ones that are married. Then yeah...I'm too picky.

 

Too made up? In my profile photo or the one that I posted?

 

I only have lip stick and mascara on in the profile pic. Maybe lip gloss on in the one that I posted.

 

Am I dealing with a pile of judgemental, homely, immature, uneducated group of idiots or what?

 

I've read some of the posts from those whom have responded so judge mentally toward me. I can say that don't feel very badly about what you've said about me.

 

you honestly want an answer to that?

 

the loudest members of this forum are angsty 20 something year old men who can't get laid. then there are the deranged women who seek an attention fix here when their relationships don't work out.

 

there are decent people mixed in with the rest, but you gotta separate the wheat from the chaff.

[mtber75]

You can't rely on online dating solely. That's a backup to the going out and being more social. Go get a hobby

[mplsmjones]

Thank you...you sane normal people.

 

I getting that you're all very correct. On-line isn't enough, I'm going a kayake club....on-line dating is insane.

 

You're right. I appreciate you guys pointing out something I guess that I should have known in the first place AND pointing out the types of people in the general public that are also on this site. I'm very naive and I forget that people can be very ugly to one another. I shouldn't...I've been on-line dating.

 

I give every on the benefit of the doubt....

 

THANKS!

[mplsmjones]

you honestly want an answer to that?

 

the loudest members of this forum are angsty 20 something year old men who can't get laid. then there are the deranged women who seek an attention fix here when their relationships don't work out.

 

there are decent people mixed in with the rest, but you gotta separate the wheat from the chaff.

 

Thank you Neal! Nice response to me when I was getting an ugly attitude.

[grkBoy]

Hi Marie!

 

Here's my opinion.

 

First I agree with others that you should try OKC and maybe even go back to POF on top of your Match account. One thing I've learned is you should not put all your eggs in one basket. Set up one paid and a few free...see what happens.

 

Second I would just tell you to be patient and grow a thick skin. Online Dating is a big mess and you'll see plenty of weeds as you seek a rose in the garden. Based on the fact you go out on dates with a lot of guys, you're not being shallow or overly picky. I usually assume if I see a woman on dating sites for months or years who gets loads of emails but barely goes on a date as "picky".

 

Just be patient. You're dating, and eventually the good man who won't lie to you will come out. Keep a thick skin as well for when the "babies" get angry because you won't play their games or stay with them. There are a lot of men who become crying little boys when they don't get any candy, and their drama drives decent women off the site.

 

NOW...third...I think you're a very attractive woman, but your photo doesn't show it very well. Looking at your photo I can see at 43 with one kid you stay in shape, sexy body, probably a good sense of style.

 

Unfortunately IMHO the photo is blurry near the face and the shine and such makes you look older. I'll bet if I met you in person you would look way better than the photo, so you might want to think about investing in some professional photos or something. That's just my opinion. It would probably up the auntie on the amount of emails you get and put a great face forward. Some standing shot perhaps so it shows off those sexy curves. Show off that inner-MILF.

 

Other than that, don't get so easily discouraged. Just keep trying, be sociable, patient, thick skin, and eventually the right guy will find you.

[Rinas]

you're overly made up in your pic. it says high mainenence. next.

 

I think that the OP looks gorgeous!

[NursingGirl]

you honestly want an answer to that?

 

 

 

 

*****************

[NursingGirl]

I don't know if this post is allowed but try http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums

 

It's a good place to ask your question (social and relationships) and people keep their cool really well over there. Hey, you might even meet someone there!