Shaun-Dro Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I was with my sister the other day and she had plans to meet with a guy she liked, but then cancelled after the silly texting back and forth and she received texts from her friends to hang out, so she passed on the guy to be with them. Had there been no cell phone, she would've met him. Then, when I was with my girlfriend on the train yesterday, heading to Coney Island, I noticed she was texting away on the phone as I spoke to her and only nodded at me a few times, then went back to the stupid texting, so I snatched the phone away, and stuffed it in my pocket. Naturally, she got upset, but I told I'll let her fend for herself at the park if she acts up, so she quit the crap. Throughout our time, she kept asking for the cell phone back and then almost cried how she needs her phone and almost threw a tantrum. She complained that at work in Target they dont allow cellular reception and that's bad enough, but to not have it while out was killing her! This seriously upset me and we didn't have a good time, even after I gave her back the phone later in the day, but she stopped the silly texting for the remainder of our time together. However, I noticed tons of people with phones in their hands, playing with it as they walk around aimlessly. I particularly notice young women go for the cell phone and put it up to their faces whenever guys came down the street, even though the guy isn't interested in looking at her. This is disturbing me because people with cell phones are acting like they'll die if they leave the house without it. It's like they can't find anything to occupy their time that doesn't include cell phone use. And the texting has really gotten out of hand! I'm sure this has probably been discussed on here, but I felt the need to bring it up because the situation with my girlfriend and her phone has got on my nerves now after yesterday's episodes. Thoughts?
Imajerk17 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 So, WHY did your sister cancel on the guy again? Was it something he did/said in his texts? Not hating on your sister or anything, but didn't it occur to her that this guy actually set aside time for her? Rude behavior is a peeve of mine. Anyway, yeah it's nuts. We as a society have shorter and shorter attention spans, and part of the reason is that we have become addicted to the pinging we get from our cell phones.
Nexus One Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 (edited) I actually agree with this. A lot of girls these days seem to be completely absorbed with their phones. They're either talking on it, texting or listening to music. A lot of girls tend to say: "Yeah but if a guy approaches me and starts talking to me, THEN I'll take my ear buds out and look at him." With that attitude you will already pass up on a lot of opportunities, because guys look for signs of interest or reciprocation, but they will not see that in a girl who's staring at the screen of her phone and typing a message while listening to music. Her focus is not on him, so he'll think: "She's busy, she gives off a vibe that she doesn't want to be disturbed, I see no signs of interest from her side...I'll let this one go." What those girls don't realize is that the guys who are making such decisions in their heads could potentially have been their future husbands. Some girls however do get it, when they see a guy that interests them they take out their buds, stop texting and put their phone away. Then they walk into talking range and throw a few glances, turn their head a few times and smile at least once. THOSE girls, get it. If you're that savvy and considerate, then you deserve to be hit on and you deserve that romantic approach from a guy that asks you out on a date and potentially becomes your boyfriend and even future husband. There are also girls that are on the other end of the spectrum. I've observed it several times in a restaurant. A couple is out for dinner or a date, but the girl/woman is texting all the time, while the guy just has the saddest look on his face. The saddest part is that it's often the case that those women are texting their friends, reporting how the date is going in real time. It's so disrespectful to the guy. If a woman does that, then in my opinion she demonstrates that she's not quality girlfriend material, because that behavior is neither considerate nor respectful. What I'd probably do in such a situation is to say that her excessive texting has ruined the date and that it's over and that she can text THAT to her friends, then I'd walk away to the counter or a waiter to pay the tab and leave the restaurant. Edited July 28, 2011 by Nexus One
Fondue Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I have a personal rule regarding cell phones. After 9pm, I do not answer phone calls, texts, etc. I simply don't. The only exceptions are if it is family calling, or if it is a Friday/Saturday night and friends and I are setting to go out. Otherwise, I simply avoid my phone. Another thing is during work. If I am working, I will ignore you. I don't care who you are. Only time I answer is if family calls. Everyone knows when I work. My family would only call me if it is important. This rule applies to everyone. Friends, women, sexy women, women I want to have sex with, women I want to have a relationship with. I simply don't care. I hate how we are attached to our phones. It's another leesh, really. I despise people who demand that sort of attention from me. Why I'm not glued to my phone. We used to get by with minimal communication, why is everyone complicating things now with this unnecessary constant connection. On top of that, texting creates so much drama it's not even funny. "OMG, HE/SHE DIDN'T REPLY TO ME IN 2HOURS! WHAT A JERK/BITCH!" A part of me kind of wants to live in a classical era, back when the paper/pen were the mode of communication. Today one of my patients showed me the coolest thing. He had a letter written by his great-great-great (I forgot how many) grandfather. It was the coolest thing ever. Beautifully written. Handwriting back then was top notch. Besides, courting back then was awesome. Now-a-days, it's like, text: "hey sexy, show me your boobs lolollololol." We're ****ing monkeys.
Imajerk17 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I have a personal rule regarding cell phones. After 9pm, I do not answer phone calls, texts, etc. I simply don't. The only exceptions are if it is family calling, or if it is a Friday/Saturday night and friends and I are setting to go out. Otherwise, I simply avoid my phone. Another thing is during work. If I am working, I will ignore you. I don't care who you are. Only time I answer is if family calls. Everyone knows when I work. My family would only call me if it is important. This rule applies to everyone. Friends, women, sexy women, women I want to have sex with, women I want to have a relationship with. I simply don't care. I hate how we are attached to our phones. It's another leesh, really. I despise people who demand that sort of attention from me. Why I'm not glued to my phone. We used to get by with minimal communication, why is everyone complicating things now with this unnecessary constant connection. On top of that, texting creates so much drama it's not even funny. "OMG, HE/SHE DIDN'T REPLY TO ME IN 2HOURS! WHAT A JERK/BITCH!" A part of me kind of wants to live in a classical era, back when the paper/pen were the mode of communication. Today one of my patients showed me the coolest thing. He had a letter written by his great-great-great (I forgot how many) grandfather. It was the coolest thing ever. Beautifully written. Handwriting back then was top notch. Besides, courting back then was awesome. Now-a-days, it's like, text: "hey sexy, show me your boobs lolollololol." We're ****ing monkeys. Good stuff man. Very solid boundaries. I agree.
sm1tten Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I am extremely detached from my phone. It's almost always on silent (not vibrate) and when I'm spending time with my boyfriend, the only time it comes out is if my mom calls, I'm checking my email while he's in the bathroom, or I'm looking up directions. I didn't give a decent first date a second date because he was playing with his phone the whole time. This was AFTER he asked me if it would bother me if he had it out on the bar top and I said, "only if you're going to play with it all night." We got along fine, but I found the phone thing to be irritating and rude specifically in the face of my objecting to it at HIS questioning.
Audrina Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 My boyfriend just got a new cell phone a week before the last time we saw each other and was playing with it all the time. It's a new phone so I let it go, but when I'm out with someone (not a BEST friend) I don't look at my cell phone unless I'm bored. If someone texts me I might glance at it, but I'll respond at a time when I'm available. When I'm with my boyfriend he almost guaranteed gets most of my attention. Forget my phone, if he's not calling me it's probably not someone I need to be talking to right then.
irc333 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 So, WHY did your sister cancel on the guy again? Was it something he did/said in his texts? Not hating on your sister or anything, but didn't it occur to her that this guy actually set aside time for her? I was thinking the OP is proving a point, proving that how we get more advanced in communication technologies, the more distant we have become from each other. That's why I'm even hearing about how women prefer online dating sometimes over meeting in normal social interactions, eventually, they get socially inept, and cannot even handle someone that approaches them, so their solution is to just bury their face in their texting machine. There is this cashier at the local store I have been kind of crushin' on....she is very familiar with me and always chatting me up....tonight I even got to know her better, finally told her my name. lol I asked her if she was married, and she said she wasn't, but hopes to be....she says she's "in love" with a guy she met online ....some marine corp dude....long dist. relationship (yeah lame I know, when I live a block away from her workplace, lol) Anyhow, I was thinking, "Man, what a waste, I bet that gets lonely" Chances are she doesn't go out, and just chats online all the time with him. What happens if, some people get into these "cyber-relationships" that don't hold much water, when a guy that they know, meet face to face only daily basis, they wont' date? Just giving an example htats all It hink some women are actually glad this kind of technology exists In fact, the technology is used to IGNORE more so than keep in touch.
bayouboi Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 A friend and I were at a bar talking to each other when he told me to look around. Everyone that was paired up (be it man/woman, man/man, woman/woman) was on their cell phones. It was as if the person they were there with wasn't as interesting as whoever or whatever was on the other end. Sad.
Audrina Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 ... That's why I'm even hearing about how women prefer online dating sometimes over meeting in normal social interactions, eventually, they get socially inept, and cannot even handle someone that approaches them, so their solution is to just bury their face in their texting machine. There is this cashier at the local store I have been kind of crushin' on....she is very familiar with me and always chatting me up....tonight I even got to know her better, finally told her my name. lol I asked her if she was married, and she said she wasn't, but hopes to be....she says she's "in love" with a guy she met online ....some marine corp dude....long dist. relationship (yeah lame I know, when I live a block away from her workplace, lol) Anyhow, I was thinking, "Man, what a waste, I bet that gets lonely" Chances are she doesn't go out, and just chats online all the time with him. .... I want to address this, because I'm in a relationship like this. I met my boyfriend online more than two years ago and we have talked every day for two years. In the beginning I just thought I was being silly and giving in to foolish emotions about him and wasting my time, I dated, but every one of those dates was horrible. The truth was, I didn't find anyone locally that expressed interest in me that I was as engaged by as my current boyfriend. After these disastrous dates I decided I needed to get my head in the right place. A long distance relationship wasn't what I wanted, my boyfriend (then just online friend) wasn't aware of my feelings for him but I decided to take some time to myself. During this time a man expressed interest in me, and I gave him almost that exactly line: "You know I know it sounds silly but I really have feelings for someone I met online and I'm just not interested in dating right now." Had he been as interesting as my boyfriend, maybe I would have considered it, but THAT guy, just wasn't the right guy for me. Eventually, my boyfriend started to have feelings for me and we decided to meet in person, and since the chemistry in person is the same as it was online we have continued to have a long distance relationship. To me, it's not a waste, it's time well spent, he's someone I could spend the rest of my life with, and that's something he acknowledges he sees in me as well. I'm sure some men see me as wasting my time, but what if our feelings are right and he is the man I marry? I'm willing to close the distance just not yet. I have a commitment to my job that I have to see through and our relationship just isn't at the 'lets live together point'. But we still see each other once a month. Sure it's not the same as having someone here all the time, which would be nice, but it's a small sacrifice I make for the love I get from him. And yeah on our "date nights" I don't go out, but neither does he. We both stay inside and watch a tv show or a movie 'together'. But that doesn't make me or my relationship bad, it's just how we deal with our circumstances. We both go out though, spend plenty of time with our friends and meeting new people, we're just in a relationship together even though we're separated by several states.
Wolf18 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Oh god, I thought I was the only one who noticed this. The girl I was dating would not put the phone done AT ALL. It was so frustrating when we were having intimate moments or sharing a memorable experience, only to be ruined by that ****ing thing vibrating and her pulling it out for 45 minutes. Technology is the real enemy of men trying to court women.
Audrina Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Oh god, I thought I was the only one who noticed this. The girl I was dating would not put the phone done AT ALL. It was so frustrating when we were having intimate moments or sharing a memorable experience, only to be ruined by that ****ing thing vibrating and her pulling it out for 45 minutes. Technology is the real enemy of men trying to court women. I remember one time I was having sex with an ex and his cell phone rang, he reached for it and I knocked it off the table and just said 'no way, not right now' and he never looked at his cell phone around me after that.
Finch Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I see it less as a man/woman divide than a courtesy/rudeness divide. I have a cell phone, but no one bothers to call or text me because I rarely answer. I keep it on silent and check it when I remember that it's there. Like Fondue, I'll respond only if it's family or someone equally as important. I keep it because I feel safer with it, but for me it's a matter of usefulness, not a form of entertainment or a tool to provide constant social updates. But then again, I'm also not at all interested in what the majority of people are doing during the day. I do not need or want to hear about my friend's dates as they happen, and I get so angry when I'm out with someone who will not put down their phone! Why go out at all if you only end up ignoring the people or person you are with? It makes me feel insignificant, unimportant, uninteresting, and it's horribly rude. I think cell phones are a great invention, and think they are useful and most certainly have a place in our lives. It's understanding what that place is that some people struggle with. A significant other who was surgically attached to their phone would be a deal breaker for me. I have ended one friendship, with a male friend actually, who could barely me the time of day when we were together due to being too wrapped up in texting. Even going out for coffee became unbearably aggravating, and so I had to let him go. I don't even know if he noticed. People who are respectful and understand what tact and social etiquette are will turn their phones off or silence them and not touch them while they are in the company of others. Those who don't deserve to have their phones give them mild electric shocks when they use them in inappropriate situations. There's an app for everything else, why isn't there one that can do that?
Eddie Edirol Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 What happens if, some people get into these "cyber-relationships" that don't hold much water, After a while they come here to loveshack asking why the person they were in a LDR with met someone in their local town and ditched them.
sweetjasmine Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 It's incredibly rude to text or play with your phone while you're supposed to be in the company of another person. There really are no excuses. But it's also incredibly rude to yank someone else's phone out of their hands and refuse to return it to them as if you're their mommy or daddy. I asked her if she was married, and she said she wasn't, but hopes to be....she says she's "in love" with a guy she met online ....some marine corp dude....long dist. relationship (yeah lame I know, when I live a block away from her workplace, lol) Why's it lame? When my SO and I were long distance, there were plenty of men who lived a block away from me or from my school, but I wasn't interested in dating any of them. How is that lame? Chances are she doesn't go out, and just chats online all the time with him. When we were long distance, we would both go out and we weren't chained to the computer talking to each other 16 hours a day. What happens if, some people get into these "cyber-relationships" that don't hold much water, when a guy that they know, meet face to face only daily basis, they wont' date? I'm not sure what you're even asking here. My SO and I "met" online but weren't in a relationship until we had met face to face and got to know each other in person. We were long distance for two years and have been living together for one year. We have plans to marry. Are you saying that we should've never stayed together and that we should've dated people we weren't interested in instead? During our long distance relationship, I had a few men approach me, but none of them compared to my partner. Should I have dumped my partner and dated those guys anyway just because they were right in front of me?
Author Shaun-Dro Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 So, WHY did your sister cancel on the guy again? Was it something he did/said in his texts? Not hating on your sister or anything, but didn't it occur to her that this guy actually set aside time for her? Rude behavior is a peeve of mine. Anyway, yeah it's nuts. We as a society have shorter and shorter attention spans, and part of the reason is that we have become addicted to the pinging we get from our cell phones. My sister claimed that her friends had a better idea and how the guy just wanted to go to the movies. I mean, the movies is nice and cool, why not go there? Summertime is perfect for movies, everyone knows that. The other thing that pissed me off was the fact that my sister didn't even have the decency to tell the guy that plans changed or whatever. Instead she resorted to just ignoring his texts until he went away. This is another phenomenon that females are doing these days: refusing to be upfront.
lolo1234 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/06/23/tech.popcorn.brain.ep/index.html This explainsthe phenomena more or less. I was at ihop this past weekend and saw a family of 4 where they all spent most of their time together on their phones . We are all guilty of this to some extent or another
Imajerk17 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 My sister claimed that her friends had a better idea and how the guy just wanted to go to the movies. I mean, the movies is nice and cool, why not go there? Summertime is perfect for movies, everyone knows that. The other thing that pissed me off was the fact that my sister didn't even have the decency to tell the guy that plans changed or whatever. Instead she resorted to just ignoring his texts until he went away. This is another phenomenon that females are doing these days: refusing to be upfront. As her brother, you have your sister's back against the creeps, but you also have to teach your sister manners when it comes to dating. This might mean making her call or text this guy back. Or even you commandeering her phone and texting him an apology for your sister's rude behavior.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 As her brother, you have your sister's back against the creeps, but you also have to teach your sister manners when it comes to dating. This might mean making her call or text this guy back. Or even you commandeering her phone and texting him an apology for your sister's rude behavior. I will absolutely do that the next time she pulls a stunt like this. Had I still been living at home where she's at, this would be an easier task.
Better'n Outer Space Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 This is sooo true & out of hand. Women I have approached at bars & opened up a good conversation with randomly take out their phone & text, Facebook or whatever & I'm sick of it. Mind you I'm a handsome man so I know it's not me (& trust me I could tell if it was) but some new type of female game in which they are trying to act all aloof by doing this. I don't care how hot you are I am calling you out on this going forward. Enjoy the conversation with your phone, then walk away.
Imajerk17 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I will absolutely do that the next time she pulls a stunt like this. Had I still been living at home where she's at, this would be an easier task. I hope you at least let her know that her behavior was NOT cool....
phineas Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I honestly am at the point where if i'm with a woman & she starts texting i'm gonna just gonna leave. I'll still pay the tab, but i'm gonna get up & walk. i'm gonna do it! I swear!
homersheineken Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 I honestly am at the point where if i'm with a woman & she starts texting i'm gonna just gonna leave. I'll still pay the tab, but i'm gonna get up & walk. i'm gonna do it! I swear! I've done it before, but I didn't pay. I figured it was fair toll
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