wreckedhero Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 She didnt reply to my texts about going out for a meal tomorrow night after we met up on saturday. So I go 3 days no contact and she texts me saying that her ex who is also my "friend" texted her wanting my number. I havent replied but she also told me saturday that he was ringing her and wanted to hook up with her one night. The thing is it's quite obvious she's texting him and that she still has feelings for him but he has a girlfriend. I'm quite sure if they are in contact then they will be meeting up for pure uncomplicated sex. What I'm trying to figure out is why is she texting me that when she knows I know of their past and when she knows I still love her. It's like she's openly admitting that she's in contact with him, yet she won't even answer my texts. How cruel is that? What about if she gets in contact with me wanting a reunion when they stop seeing each other? I really love her but I have this strong suspicion that they are back on. They guy texted me today for the first time in a couple of months as well. I know she still has feelings for him because she used to talk about him a lot when we were together. It just depresses me. It's not paranoia. I know how operates as he's a ladies man and I know that she likes him still. It's not her fault and she's single so can do what she wants. But why does she have to torture me with that text? Should I just never speak to her again? It's just cruel especially as she said to me earlier on that we could possibly get back together but then she just went cold on me. A second chance between us is surely not possible now, what with my suspicions which I am 99.9 % certain will turn out to be true
2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Save your sanity and totally remove her from your life. She is one of those girls who loves playing guys off against each other and being oh so miss innocent in the middle. You will suffer big time with this one if you do not act now and move on. 2011
Rory12345 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 It doesn't matter. Try to get her out of your mind and just look after yourself. She's messing with your head, you don't need that. Go/keep NC.
Author wreckedhero Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 I am 3 days no contact. I don't think I could take her back now. If she loves me she will let me know. If not then hey ho, I'll be healed. It's the hardest thing I have ever known. We work at the same place but at different times. I'm going to look for a new job but it's still a possibility i'll see her from time to time. That's why it's hard
Author wreckedhero Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 So I go no contact and only reply to her if she explicitly makes it clear she wants me back?
Author wreckedhero Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Even if she does want me back how do I get over the fact that she has ignored me during these days, not answering my questions about a date, has obviously been contacting her ex, and then telling me to rub it in? Would she deserve a second chance and how would I bring that up with her to tell her how much it hurt without sounding whiny?
Kilty Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Even if she does want me back how do I get over the fact that she has ignored me during these days, not answering my questions about a date, has obviously been contacting her ex, and then telling me to rub it in? Would she deserve a second chance and how would I bring that up with her to tell her how much it hurt without sounding whiny? These are million dollar questions to a scenario that you deal with at the time but going by her actions seems unlikely. Your objective is to forget about her and stop obsessing over her actions and thought processes. This is achieved by not contacting her and ignoring any inane contact she makes. The easy answer however, as much as you dont want to hear it, is that you dont get over her actions but your emotions are clouding this at the moment. To put it into perspective - if you had behaved like this to her or any other girl what would the chances be of being forgiven and trusted to not only doing that but also that it would never happen again ? Low self esteem and emotions would make you forgive just about anything at this point in time So the bottom line in all of this is - KEEP YOUR SELF RESPECT - YOU DESERVE BETTER And any time you feel like falling off that path remember that not only does your self respect take a beating but the view of you in her eyes also diminishes. You are the man - You are the big bear with claws Act like it
Author wreckedhero Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Thanks. I get what you are saying. It's like when my feelings for her have diminished I will be able to see things more clearly and even if she did want me back which is unlikely I probably would'nt be interested in taking her back due to the way she has treated me. At the moment it is sad to say I probably would just to get the hit from her. This No Contact thing is like giving up a drug or alcohol. Every time she gets in contact it's tempting you and offering you that drug.And while it's good while you are talking to her or meeting up with her, when she's gone it's a massive comedown. Thank you Kilty. I now know what to do and that's never to contact her again.
radiodarcy Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 i'm not sure if it's going to do you any good to think in in the hypothetical. it's only going to continue to give you unwarranted hope that she is going to give you a second chance. when she's clearly given no indication that she will. as painful as it will be for you, i would suggest dropping that scenario altogether and moving forward with the expectation that she won't.
Author wreckedhero Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Yeah I'm going to have to however hard it is. She did say that we could possibly get back together on Saturday night but the fact she went cold on me suggests that that was just a lie, and the fact that she's willing to torture me and make me jealous suggests that she doesnt care about my feelings. So she doesnt deserve me. Somebody else does. Somebody who doesnt treat me like something on their end of their shoe. Like I said a week's the most we've gone without contact. Let's hope she feels like I'm not going to be her ego boost when she realises that this time I'm following through with my conviction of never speaking to her again.
radiodarcy Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 She did say that we could possibly get back together on Saturday night but the fact she went cold on me suggests that that was just a lie, and the fact that she's willing to torture me and make me jealous suggests that she doesnt care about my feelings. So she doesnt deserve me. Somebody else does. Somebody who doesnt treat me like something on their end of their shoe. Like I said a week's the most we've gone without contact. Let's hope she feels like I'm not going to be her ego boost when she realises that this time I'm following through with my conviction of never speaking to her again. all the more reason to ignore her if she ever does pull the "i want you back line" again. she's clearly not taking you or your feelings seriously. if she was truly cared about you at all she would leave you alone and let you heal. not continue to toy with your emotions.
littlebit35 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Use her for your f--- buddy and move on with your life
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