Ex breaks no contact after 3 days with a text that I did not want

[wreckedhero]

The situation is me and her ex are friends or were friends. He's the sort of person who could be described as a love rat but I've always had the instinct that she still likes him. Maybe it's because he wasnt as full on as me for the simple fact that I loved her a lot more. I am preparing myself for them hooking up again, not as a couple but you know what even though he currently has a girlfriend. Anyway he texted me earlier asking how I was and then an hour later she texts me 3 days after no contact just telling me that my friend had contacted her for my number. What should I do? Just ignore it? I'm scared that if I ignore them both then they'll meet up just to spite me but then again I'm worried that if I'm in contact with either of them then they'll let it slip out that they are doing things together once again. I'm confused as you can see. Why did she have to text me that? Three days after I'd asked her out for a meal she responds with that? What do I do?

[wreckedhero]

And I still want her back but the friend will always loom over us. I remember when she talked to him all night and linked arms with him on a night out. She doesnt want me back but it would really be a blow to my self confidence if they went back together. I'm not going to judge her if she does. It's fair play she's single now but she can't expect me to be in contact with her ever after that? So confused

[radiodarcy]

no she cannot expect you to be in contact with her after this. furthermore, it doesn't matter if you respond to that text or not: it sounds like those two are going to hook up regardless of what you say or how you feel about it. so why bother saying anything at all about it?

 

your ex sending you that text was a low blow in my opinion. what are you supposed to say? i would strongly recommend that you refrain from dignifying such behavior with a response and maintain NC.

 

i would also strongly recommend that you cut off contact this this so called friend who has so little respect for you his current girlfriend and your ex by carrying on in such a selfish manner. it's cluster, my friend and you are better off stay far far away from all parties involved.

[wreckedhero]

Yeah I can't see myself ever texting her again or speaking to her again. Really determined not to. Was just such a pointless and cruel text. There's no evidence of them hooking up but I just think they will. A sixth sense and an instinct if you like. I know what he's like and she did talk about him a lot when we were together. Plus I've never been the paranoid sort so I know what's going to happen between them. Oh well they'll both lose me. Not that they'll care much. I was a lot happier before I met them. I just want this feeling in my heart to go away and I hope time heals it.

[radiodarcy]

good on you for not playing into her games. i don't know your ex or this guy but based on what you've said, my instincts are crying foul as well. the fact that he contact you out of the blue and then she follows up with that text shortly thereafter means that something is brewing.

 

regardless of whatever happens between them, you are right - - you don't need either of these people in your life. just concentrate on you and your healing. over time you will be a much happier, stronger version of yourself before they came into your life and that's all that matters

[wreckedhero]

Yeah all I can do is wait and see what happens now. If she misses me and loves me she will let me know. I don't have to do anything now. I've done all I can do. But that text earlier on suggests that she has no respect for my feelings as she is not even trying to hide the fact that she will text him and not even respond to my questions about going out for a meal on friday. To me that's cruel and suggests she doesnt care about my feelings so I will be ignoring her from now on.

[wreckedhero]

Just a quick question and then my mind will be sorted. Do I ignore her until she says she wants me back? I'm not saying it will happen, I don't think it will but do I ignore all of what she says unless it's a statement of intent that she wants me back? It's all I really can do. Then I won't seem needy and desperate and it might sow seeds of doubt into her mind. And if she doesnt tell me then at least I maintain my dignity and realise that she never had any feelings for me because I do strongly believe that if she does have feelings for me she will tell me. So I think no contact is the only way forward. I dont want her and my "friend" to be laughing at me. At least this way she will see I am not going to condone her behaviour and accept just being a friend. She might like playing games but I believe that if you want someone and truly love them then you tell them. Just have to wait and see. I don't think she does but you never know. She might hate the fact that she doesnt hear from me anymore and that might jolt her feelings into life. Wish I could wake up 6 months from now and see what had transpired. This site is a godsend though. Means I can write my feelings on here and not have to resort to looking desperate with her

[Kilty]

Just a quick question and then my mind will be sorted. Do I ignore her until she says she wants me back? I'm not saying it will happen, I don't think it will but do I ignore all of what she says unless it's a statement of intent that she wants me back? It's all I really can do. Then I won't seem needy and desperate and it might sow seeds of doubt into her mind. And if she doesnt tell me then at least I maintain my dignity and realise that she never had any feelings for me because I do strongly believe that if she does have feelings for me she will tell me. So I think no contact is the only way forward. I dont want her and my "friend" to be laughing at me. At least this way she will see I am not going to condone her behaviour and accept just being a friend. She might like playing games but I believe that if you want someone and truly love them then you tell them. Just have to wait and see. I don't think she does but you never know. She might hate the fact that she doesnt hear from me anymore and that might jolt her feelings into life. Wish I could wake up 6 months from now and see what had transpired. This site is a godsend though. Means I can write my feelings on here and not have to resort to looking desperate with her

 

You have really answered your own question there buddy.

 

Deep down you know what the right thing to do is but your emotions are still going berserk and no wonder.

 

Your emotions are making you believe that someone somewhere is going to tell you what your emotions want to hear which is ;

 

Yeah its alright to reply now and again - in fact you have a good chance of getting her back if you stay in touch

 

However nobody will or should

 

NEVER reply to anything she has to say unless it's a full blown i want you back

[0hpenelope]

This site is a godsend though. Means I can write my feelings on here and not have to resort to looking desperate with her

Yes. Yes it is!

 

Basic rules with personal relationships: you also teach people how to treat you. I'm glad to see that you have boundaries. I've seen it happen in real life myself, where some friends try to be "the cool ex" but then when the ex goes off and find someone new (which is normal, since that's what happens when people move on), they just fall to pieces. It's almost like a delayed reaction to the break up and as a friend, it's hard to see them like that.

[SIGNALFREQ]

Hey Man,

My ex sent me an insulting text that basically was trying to hurt me, I promptly called my cell phone company and had her number blocked.

[wreckedhero]

Sent the "friend" a text which I instantly regretted. Just said " im alright mate hows you"? But I think I'll leave him to it. Doesnt text me after two months. Was probably texting me out of guilt since it seems he's reconnecting with my ex. Her, well thats a different story. I'm never going to speak to her again. Not until I'm healed which I may forget about her but any contact with her will open a wound again so she's lost me. Even text's of her don't help. Hopefully she won't text me again. 4 days no contact. Can't wait till it's two months contact. I'm not a piece of string and my feelings aren't there to be messed around with. She will get that message.If she truly wants me back then she knows what to do. What a lesson in life this has proved to be. Never again will I lose my dignity by acting desperate and sending 15 texts in a row. She knows how I feel. Can only sit back and see what happens.