so much anxiety and uncertainty

[lisafrankie84]

I am in a pseudo couple right now, pseudo because long distance is so hard and we are not ready to label ourselves. We might as well be boyfriend and girlfriend because we talk everyday have flown across the country to visit each other, and make each other ridiculously happy. I like the no pressure situation and enjoy just having a good friend to talk to everyday. But, I just got back from my most recent trip to see him, it had been 3 months since we had seen each other. It was amazing, we had a great time, all of his friends loved me, we had some great talks about how happy we are and what we want from our future and why what we're doing is our best option right now. But, the second I boarded the shuttle to the airport, I lost it. My head is filled with so many what if's now. What if he is lying, what if he meets someone else, does he not want to be with me because of distance, or is he really just thinking he'll meet someone better. Background on this guy, he is not a jerk, at all, he is one of the sweetest people ever. He is 29 and has never been a relationship guy, he prefers girls as friends, and makes a great friend to most girls. I was the first person he had even been intimate with in over 2 years. He is just super independent and wants to live his life on his terms. He told me I just need to be patient and that everyday he thinks about the time where we are actually in the same zip code and how amazing it will be. We're both actors so we kind of go where the work takes us, which is why neither of us can pick up and move anytime in the next few months. I think this anxiety is happening because I know how much I care about him, and I need to just trust in him and us. The uncertainty and distance are killing me. It was a huge tease having him back in my life for two weeks and then him suddenly being gone again. He's out in Oregon and I'm on the east coast, so it's not like trips are easy or cheap....we text everyday, we skype almost everyday. He's busy, I'm busy, we both have fulfilling lives, but I miss him so much, and am allowing every unreturned phone call or text mean way more than it probably does. Does anyone have any good advice or stories to share? I just need to feel like Im not crazy or alone at this point. It's just a frustrating situation. Thanks

[Desert Rose]

I don't think you're alone, I've never experienced something like this before...but I can imagine how you feel.

 

For me, I think there's no reason why you would stop this, I mean...after all, there's no other person in your life, if this man makes you happy, then go for it, and see what happens

 

Good luck!

[crazylove]

Sounds like a really similar situation to the one i'm in. We're not officially bf/gf, but might as well be with the contact we have daily, for hours:) He came to stay with me for a couple of weeks whilst on a trip to Europe and we really hit it off. Had an amazing time,and made each other really happy:). I kinda feel in limbo a bit now though, with similar feelings to yourself. Not sure how to proceed really. Whether to say something or not! He's a very 'just let it go with the flow kinda guy', 'let's see how it unfolds', but i'm not sure whether that means he's just seeing if something better comes along, or how he really feels about the situation. I don't want to cause unecessary pressure, but at the same time we're in a 'grey' area, or so it feels. I miss him heaps, and feel kinda alone without him here now. Funny, cos we talk/text/message a lot, but yeah, not quite the same as having him here:)