Is it wrong that I leave with my daughter??

[confused90]

So I have been with my guy for almost 3 years now and well we have been engaged for about 6 months.. We have definatly had our ups and downs. I have left because he was cheating and stuff. Well we now have a 10 month old daughter and he has a 7 year old son. He is very abusive toward his son emotionally. He calls him names such as fagot, retard, stupid and anything else he can think of and sometimes it even gets physical. I have been trying to help him control his anger for a long time now and it has gotten nowhere. He now lashes out on me. It has not gotten physical but he is emotionally abusive towards me. Even in public he will call me names if I dont agree with him. He is very controlling also. He tells me he is not the person to pick fights with because I have nothing. I didnt mention before but I am a stay at home mom and have no money or anything so he pays for everything. My main question is is that is it wrong for me to leave with my daughter and keep her from him until something is solved in court. He is very good to her and I can tell he loves her but she will get older and do things he does not agree with so I am afraid he is going to treat her like he does his son. He says he wont cuz its different with our daughter, but i cant take the abuse no longer and I dont want my daughter to be around this. So is it ok that i dont let him see her until something is solved in court?? How do i cope with this after i leave. It is going to be very hard. I have tried getting him to go to counseling but he wont. he says its pointless and he isnt crazy or anything its me i need counseling.. im so confused.. please help someone

[andyg99]

So I have been with my guy for almost 3 years now and well we have been engaged for about 6 months.. We have definatly had our ups and downs. I have left because he was cheating and stuff. Well we now have a 10 month old daughter and he has a 7 year old son. He is very abusive toward his son emotionally. He calls him names such as fagot, retard, stupid and anything else he can think of and sometimes it even gets physical. I have been trying to help him control his anger for a long time now and it has gotten nowhere. He now lashes out on me. It has not gotten physical but he is emotionally abusive towards me. Even in public he will call me names if I dont agree with him. He is very controlling also. He tells me he is not the person to pick fights with because I have nothing. I didnt mention before but I am a stay at home mom and have no money or anything so he pays for everything. My main question is is that is it wrong for me to leave with my daughter and keep her from him until something is solved in court. He is very good to her and I can tell he loves her but she will get older and do things he does not agree with so I am afraid he is going to treat her like he does his son. He says he wont cuz its different with our daughter, but i cant take the abuse no longer and I dont want my daughter to be around this. So is it ok that i dont let him see her until something is solved in court?? How do i cope with this after i leave. It is going to be very hard. I have tried getting him to go to counseling but he wont. he says its pointless and he isnt crazy or anything its me i need counseling.. im so confused.. please help someone

 

please do get some counseling, a good family counselor can hear your story and recommend any legal services you may need (and if you have little money there are free services). if he is good with your daughter then he will probably get visitation. Also please document any abuse - he may have to get some counseling himself before the court orders any custody arrangement. This is your daughters life at stake, and his son's too! Act now! the longer you delay the more chance you get stuck in something that you may never get out of....

[confused90]

please do get some counseling, a good family counselor can hear your story and recommend any legal services you may need (and if you have little money there are free services). if he is good with your daughter then he will probably get visitation. Also please document any abuse - he may have to get some counseling himself before the court orders any custody arrangement. This is your daughters life at stake, and his son's too! Act now! the longer you delay the more chance you get stuck in something that you may never get out of....

 

 

Thanks for the advice. I have talked with my family and they actually have noticed it before but they wanted me to see it with my own eyes so they did not push me away. Yes he is good with the baby for now. She loves him and he loves her but I am also her primary caregiver. He does not feed her make bottle change diaper. He will on occasion but thats all. And i usually have to ask him too. I feel like i cant talk to him because he will lash out on me. for ex: yesterday he noticed his son was biting his nails off so he slapped his hands and started yelling at him cussing him out as usual and then he hit him in the shoulder cuz he was crying. I told him to stop and he said F*** you if you dont like it you can leave bc nothing is ever gona change. I just ok. I am afraid of leaving though. His son is not mine he is from his first wife and his family has tried before to get his son taken away but they cant. I can only help my daughter and I but for some reason I feel guilty for taking her but my family says i shouldnt because if I care for her I will get her out of this environment. Idk why i feel so bad for leaving and taking her away from him. I dont mind him having visitation but i will not settle with him having full custody or even joint custody. Plus im afraid of him taking her and never giving her back. I feel so empty and lonely. I feel like that i wont be able to get away from him. My brother offered to help me but he lived 3 hours away and my whole family lives here. Idk if i can handle moving so far away i could for a while but not for long time.