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Posted (edited)

Honestly, besides being selfish what else can be the reason? I find it soooo immature at the same time, because it's like the person doesn't even know what he/she wants or is scare of breaking-up and takes the the cowards' path.

 

Just curious, if any of you got cheated on how you found out?

 

It didn't took me that long. I walked in on him in my bed with the OW. Needless to say he became my EX right that day. I didn't get upset nor anything (well inside I was) and just said ''Wish you both the best, sorry for interrupting, going shopping now''. When I returned, they were gone.

 

It's really pathethic that some still cheat. Even more ridiculous are those cheating in places that's easy to get caught like my ex did, thinking he would get away with it.

Edited by Editbee
Posted

Maybe didn't care if he got caught, i would guess.

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Posted
Maybe didn't care if he got caught, i would guess.
Nope he didn't. Though I received several missed calls days later and apologies on my answering machine. LOL....

 

One day I decided to answer and was like ''Why aren't you with the OW, I thought you guys were perfect for each other, I'm too much of a hassle for you and besides I'm dating someone else''.

 

When I told him that, he just end the call saying he'll call back to talk some more and right now he's busy. Never got a call from him again. LOL....

Posted

There are all kinds of reasons for cheating---not a one is legit.-----

 

Many times whatever reason that is used, is, to demonize the betrayed spouse-----so that the cheater in their mind has justification for the cheating

 

Every situation is different

 

You knew you were zero tolerance in re:cheating----most of the threads on the infidelity websites, do not involve zero tolerance-----Hence the conversation, advice, etc.

 

There are thousands of affairs, which is sad, and I am sure that in many of them, the betrayed walks immediately---so those never come up on the websites for there is nothing to discuss

 

You have the class to know what you want in life, and to not allow yourself to be stuck in a life of misery, like so many betrayeds do!!!!!!

Posted

They cheat because they can get away with it. After having two relationships where the man cheated and finding out about the most recent one yesterday, I am so done with relationships for a long time.

 

I swear you can do everything for some men and they still treat you like sh*t.

Posted

I swear you can do everything for some men and they still treat you like sh*t.

 

That's cause it's the cheaters problem and in most cases got very little to do with the person being cheated on. In my experience, people cheat to meet a need of some sort (attention, affection, excitement, etc) that is eating away at them. Cheaters aren't very self aware, though. They know something is missing but have no idea what so instead of working on finding it within their current relationship or lifestyle, they self-medicate with an affair. It's like a drug - a f@*ked up way of treating their own emotional pain.

Posted (edited)

I was cheated on by my ex boyfriend after 3 years together. I found out because this stupid jerk left his laptop open on a skype conversation with the other girl, where it was clearly written what they did.

 

What broke my heart is that when I told him, all he did was deny and delete the conversation so there could be no proof anymore.

 

We had went through a lot of things in 3 years and he never cheated, I've always been supportive and an adorable girlfriend, he recognized it. But I had to see what I had done, and despite all the perfect relationship we had, there was one big problem, we weren't having sex anymore, I just wasn't attracted by him anymore, I guess I've never been, I just loved him.

 

My point is no matter how much you think you were perfect and everything was fine and happy, that's NEVER the truth, there's always one thing that you over look, or dismiss intentionally or not.

Edited by cutily
Posted

I've felt the urge to cheat before - but maybe that's well just the feeling that I'd like to get out of the relationship and be with someone else. I think there are a lot of factors behind why people choose to cheat.

 

I don't doubt that a person who cheats may well love and feel attached to their partner. Please, don't unleash the "no person who's TRULY in love will cheat" (i.e., "No True Scotsman" fallacy) argument on me, because it doesn't stand the test of scrutiny. People love in all sorts of different ways. And they respond to needs not being met or problems in an otherwise loving and attached relationship in numerous ways - including cheating.

 

Those are some of the reasons people might cheat - they may be predominantly happy in a relationship, but certain needs (more and more these days, sexual ones) aren't being met. Yes, they feel they can have their cake and eat it too - they get to stay in a safe and secure place with the partner, but experience the passion/thrill/further fulfillment of an affair.

 

I'd imagine for men, it's predominantly for variety and sex. For women? Feeling wanted, desirable, the rush of an affair, and getting needs met. Is it fair for the other partner? Of course not. Am I saying it's OK or advocated? No. But clearly there are extenuating circumstances that lead to cheating - and I'm not saying it's the fault of the person who's cheated on. Sometimes they miss the signs, and sometimes the signs flat-out aren't there. But there are always better alternatives to fixing a relationship problem (or simply getting out of the relationship) rather than cheating.

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