cakey Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Hi Everyone, lurked on this forum for a couple of days actually made me feel so much better than I have all week looking on here last night so now decided to post myself! Me and my bfnd have been together 5 and half years it definitely hasnt been a fantastic relationship but we love each other a lot and were each others best friend well it seemed that way! anyway hes always been a home bod and not really one for nights out were as i do like to go out. last year I went a bit mad was out most weekends met lots of new people (I think i had a touch of from looking on this forum G.I.G.S?) We still spent time together and did things his shift pattern meant he worked most weekends and didnt mind me going out he would always pick me up at the end of nights and he knew everyone who i was out with so dont think he minded so much. Anyway he lost his job last year and the past six month have been a bit tough i really settled down and barely go out now we have been spending a lot more time together until he started a new job about 3 weeks ago its a call centre type enviroment so theres lots of people his age. The past two Fridays he has gone out and also went out last night, now I know what everyones thinking I did the same thing to him! Anyway last sunday I lost it I said i cant go on like this anymore I always feel second best to him (friends seem to always come before me) I felt so insecure and jealous and im not that type of person at all it was weird, I think it was because I know he is out with all these new people one of them a girl who he has known for a while but i seem to have got it into my head hes started to fancy her. also he stayed out all night the friday no text or anything and I found out a group of them including this girl stayed at his friends. Anyway he came to see me after work one night and we talked and both cried and didnt know what to do, I said I dont know if splitting up is for the best even though neither of us want to and he has told me so many times he doesnt want to break up we just need to work on things. so we decided we would try again see what happens and I arranged for us to have a day out on saturday spend the day together and see what happens. So yesterday I came on here and had an epiphany looking at all the posts and realised I must seem so needy and jealous to him I will only be pushing him away so I didnt contact him all day yesterday anyway I got a text from him when he finished telling me he was going to a night after work (I knew about this) and he loved me, txt back ok have a good night love you too. Now today came and I go on facebook and get that dreaded insecure feeling again seeing some pics from his night last night (urghhh i HATE feeling like this i feel pathetic!!!) and I ended up calling him this afternoon I was normal with him asked if he had a good night etc he had a hangover so was a bit groggy with me sort of rushed me off as he had to get ready for work. I sort of have it in my head we are breaking up? is it normal to feel this way? I dont want to break up with him as its not what I want but I get the feeling its coming and hes going to get the G.I.G.S...I must add though he has invited me on all 3 work nights maybe I should have gone so I stop imagining too much as i dont know these people or what there like? Part of me feels like kicking myself and saying stop being an idiot he loves you and is just doing what anyone would normally do meeting new people..Ive been there myself. What should I do? Also Im possibly going to see him tonight do I bring it up how I feel or leave it? It seems like its all im talking about and Im scared of pushing him away? x
Philosoraptor Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Sounds to me like the relationship dynamic is starting to change. After all that time together and not really spending time apart a couple can lose some of that spark because they really don't take the time to really miss one another. But if he is inviting you then you should go sometimes, but don't go all the time unless it really seems like he wants you to. Instead go out with some friends of your own or just enjoy a bit of freedom. Either way you need to deal with your insecurity and figure out the best way to combat the jealousy. I'd say find hobbies of your own and instead of being needy when he gets back, you might have something exciting to share which will make both of you much happier. Just look forward to Saturday and make the best of the time you do have with him.
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