k100danny Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 So ive been seeing this girl exclusively for around 2 months, we have been close for a lot longer. we had a couple of bumps at the start of the realtionship that may have slowed things down but everything seemed back on track. she assures me she really likes me and i have nothing to worry about but im quite an anxious person. basically i kind of need reassurance everynow and then and even though she says her feelings are exactly the same toward me i feel if i havent allready my clingy/neediness may push her away. Whenever i feel this way or ask her and she assures me she sees me in her future ect i feel relieved but also wish i hadnt mentioned it. my question is after the last couple of weeks of maybe being a bit clingy/needy is there a way back so she doesnt feel i am always this way? or is the damage done? she had a crush on me for the 6 months when we were got back intouch with each other and i wasnt really needy then or at the start of the relationship. i trust her and i feel my issues with anxiety may drive her away which worries me as we got to know each other a lot before the realtionship and this is the first girl in many years i can actually see myself with in the future. any help from the females would be a great help. thanks in advance.
Rinas Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 She's with you, still talking to you, spending time. You don't need to ask her if it's going well. As long as she is still showing interest in seeing you, just keep going with the flow. You can turn things back, it's possible. Just continue to go with it, don't worry about the future, focus on the present and having a good time. 2 months isn't a very long time, you're still in the getting to know each other butterfly stages, enjoy the moment while it's here.
Professor X Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 You can never reverse back time, so the "damage" has been done. Period. Now, for the better of your future, try and remember that she's dating YOU, she's kissing YOU, she's making love with YOU, spends her time with YOU, so that pretty much means she's in to YOU. If you had to choose between her actions and her words, what would it be? Would you really prefer her telling you she wants only you but barely spend any time together? Or are you happy with what you got now? - Just try and remember this each time your doubts will come, eventually they will disappear. Remember, you are still in the phase where you get to know her, so naturally you still don't trust her 100% - it will come.
thatone Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 all of these labels are beyond ridiculous. she has been with you for two months, you're past the first few date hurdles. i got a big picture in my head of a married couple 40 years later from 2010/2011 and every time one touches the other they make a joke about "needy and clingy!" you have to make the woman you're with happy, and she has to make you happy. none of the bullsh*t you've read or heard from anyone else about how you're supposed to act will change that fact, and those people aren't going to follow the two of you around and give you instructions.
make me believe Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Hmm. I'm not sure why you're so convinced you've caused damage, unless you are constantly bugging her everyday to reassure you, but it doesn't sound like that's what you're doing. If you've had a couple of bumps in the road after only two months, it's natural to feel a bit insecure or anxious about the relationship. Maybe I am also clingy, but I think a certain amount of "neediness" or insecurity regarding the other persons feelings for you are natural in the beginning of a relationship. I guess some people see that as a weakness and would advise you to never let on how you're feeling, but I think it's normal and showing some vulnerability is good. Just don't go overboard with it and you'll be fine.
Recommended Posts