counterman Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I met a girl today and we spoke for about 20 minutes. We exchanged numbers and I set up a date, which is about a week from today. Should I contact her before the date at all? i.e. should I call or text? If so, what should I say? Sorry, I've had a date in a while.
Mr. Slim Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Just do what falls in line best with your dating style. They may as well know right off the bat how you are. I myself would wait until the day of the date; but that's probably not too common. Some guys I know will start texting women like they're old buddies before they can even get home with their number, but that's how they are with everybody. in a day or two, maybe you could text a "hello, how are you, looking forward to (whatever day)".
Author counterman Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 Thanks, that's good advice. I hate following set rules and usually go with my gut-feel. I texted her already just then just, which she replied to and I replied back and it ended there. I'm not looking much into it. I cold approached her. I will send her a message the day before with where and when to meet and that's it! I felt we really clicked when we spoke and she was really cool. Maybe I made some mistakes, I don't know but if she ends up not wanting to go on the date that's fine. So far its on
grkBoy Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Text her if you two seemed to chat well in convo. Just treat it like more convo and don't grovel. No "So looking forward to seeing you next week"
Author counterman Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 So far we've only exchanged a few and I sent mine about a day ago. It was a tease sort of role playing text and I guess if she wanted to she would reply. Thing is it might have sounded stupid to her, I know it did to me after I read it a few times over. I don't really like texting in general. I like calling but it's just we set up the date already in person. It'll be nice just to talk to her in between because we did have fun talking to each other the first time. I'm thinking of calling her tomorrow and just talking for around 5 minutes, would that be alright?
LynnT Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Just do what falls in line best with your dating style. They may as well know right off the bat how you are. I myself would wait until the day of the date; but that's probably not too common. Some guys I know will start texting women like they're old buddies before they can even get home with their number, but that's how they are with everybody. in a day or two, maybe you could text a "hello, how are you, looking forward to (whatever day)". I'm so glad I saw this thread and this post. I'm just getting back into dating and things have changed since I was last available. I have a first date this weekend with a guy to go for a drink. He sent me a text last week (Wedsnesday), followed by a brief chat on FB and then another text that same night that I answered when I saw it the next day. I haven't heard from him since. I've been worried that I'm going to be stood up since he never answered my text. Now that I see this, I understand that it's not uncommon and I'm not going to worry about it. Would it be out of line to send him a text like you suggested or should I wait on him? I'm old school and let the guy initiate all the contact. I realize that makes a lot of guys (especially younger ones like this one) feel like I'm not interested.
LynnT Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 So far we've only exchanged a few and I sent mine about a day ago. It was a tease sort of role playing text and I guess if she wanted to she would reply. Thing is it might have sounded stupid to her, I know it did to me after I read it a few times over. I don't really like texting in general. I like calling but it's just we set up the date already in person. It'll be nice just to talk to her in between because we did have fun talking to each other the first time. I'm thinking of calling her tomorrow and just talking for around 5 minutes, would that be alright? I think you should call. If you enjoyed talking to her, the feeling is probably mutual. I know I'm guilty of the same thing and it's natural, but you seem to be over-thinking this a bit. Dating is supposed to be fun so enjoy it and be yourself and stop worrying so much.
ShaneGroove Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Hey there Counterman! Congrats on your date in a week with this girl. I"m sure she is looking forward to spending time with you! As far as texting/calling is concern I think you should watch out for possibly diluting the relationship with her. You two are probably on a great high note right now. She met a great guy and you met a great girl and the possibilities of you two together seem promising. Don't ruin that by doing too much contact before the big day. I think the best thing for you to remember is that if you are not furthering your relationship with her than you are diluting the relationship. Less can be certainly more. My advice is keep your contacts with her short and sweet. Maybe a few "looking forward to next week!" or "happy slump wednesday". Just give her a little bit just so the thought of you is fresh on her mind. You'll thank me later when the big day happens! Best of luck!
Author counterman Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 Thanks for the advice, LynnT and ShaneGroove. Just to update, I did call her. It was only for around 5 minutes and it was fine. No awkward silences, pretty fun. I also told her I was gonna call her in two days and she said sure - this is pretty much to tell her where we're meeting etc. I think I was over-thinking it. ShaneGroove, I agree with you. I don't want to contact her too much, just enough to keep me on her mind. So, I'll keep my next phone call short and sweet. LynnT, from a guy's perspective (one who doesn't like playing games), if a girl sent me a text, I would be very happy to receive it, and it will let me know that she's still interested. Nothing wrong with a a short, sweet text Another thing is, I hope she doesn't think I just want to be friends. I mean, I think I made it clear I am very interested in her.
Author counterman Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 I met her on campus; I'm still studying. I saw her walking and just walked up to her, complimented her and we hit it off pretty much there. I was so nervous though:p
Star Gazer Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Hey there Counterman! Congrats on your date in a week with this girl. I"m sure she is looking forward to spending time with you! As far as texting/calling is concern I think you should watch out for possibly diluting the relationship with her. You two are probably on a great high note right now. She met a great guy and you met a great girl and the possibilities of you two together seem promising. Don't ruin that by doing too much contact before the big day. I think the best thing for you to remember is that if you are not furthering your relationship with her than you are diluting the relationship. Less can be certainly more. My advice is keep your contacts with her short and sweet. Maybe a few "looking forward to next week!" or "happy slump wednesday". Just give her a little bit just so the thought of you is fresh on her mind. You'll thank me later when the big day happens! Best of luck! You kinda sound like Dr. Love, but I'm in total agreement with you!!
Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 I met her on campus; I'm still studying. I saw her walking and just walked up to her, complimented her and we hit it off pretty much there. I was so nervous though:p Nice. Yeah don't overdo the pre-date contact. If your date is on Thursday a few texts between now and then should do it. I don't think you need to call her in the meanwhile.
Author counterman Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Nice. Yeah don't overdo the pre-date contact. If your date is on Thursday a few texts between now and then should do it. I don't think you need to call her in the meanwhile. Thanks for the advice! The only issue is, I called her yesterday and told her I would be calling her in a couple of days, which is tomorrow. Our date will be in 3 days. Should I send her a text tomorrow and let her know that I can't call her because I'm busy and just send her the details of the date?
Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Thanks for the advice! The only issue is, I called her yesterday and told her I would be calling her in a couple of days, which is tomorrow. Our date will be in 3 days. Should I send her a text tomorrow and let her know that I can't call her because I'm busy and just send her the details of the date? I'd say just pretend that you didn't say you were going to call her (as in don't bring it up!) and text her instead--send her a text say tomorrow morning.
Author counterman Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 I'd say just pretend that you didn't say you were going to call her (as in don't bring it up!) and text her instead--send her a text say tomorrow morning. Cool, I could do that. I'm a bit reluctant in sending her a text because she didn't reply to my last text, which was just a bit of teasing/role playing. I think it may have something to do with her finances, because we are both uni students. Or maybe sending texts is too much investment for her on a guy she's just met once? I don't know, but what do you suggest I write? I'm not that great with texting
Author counterman Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Also, I want to make sure she knows its a date and not just a "hang out". I mean, I thought I made it clear when I approached her etc. but I can't be sure. Any advice on this and whether I should call today or not?
Author counterman Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Alright, so I called her just then and it went to Voice Mail. I didn't leave a message. If she doesn't get back to me by tomorrow, I'm going to send a text telling the details of the date. If she doesn't reply to that, then she's certainly not interested.
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