butterflies1158 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Hi everyone! I'm new to this site but I've been having a lot of stress and relationship problems with my ex boyfriend who now has a girlfriend. We've been broken up for almost a year except he has came back into my life a few months ago. First, I've been with my ex boyfriend for about 2 years. I'm 18 years old and he's a year older than me. He's the first guy I fell in love with and we had a wonderful relationship. Although we had a few problems, our relationship didn't seem as important to him when he was close to graduating high school. We ended up breaking up/getting back together for about a month and a half. It was too messy so we decided to just end it. We stayed good friends but I didn't want to admit that I still loved him. I found out that he's been talking to another girl while our breakup and after. They got together 3 months after our breakup. What hurt the most was that we were still hooking up as friends after we broke up but I had no idea that he was dating this other girl at the same time. We had the biggest argument and I told him how much of a jerk he is etc and how I don't want him to be part of my life any longer. We ended communcation for about 7 months. 7 months later, we ran into each other. We started catching up as friends and he told me about his girlfriend, how happy they are etc. At this point, I was also talking to a nice guy whom I was attracted to and took to prom with etc but it didn't last long. My ex boyfriend and I stayed friends for about a month and caught up. It seemed like a normal friendship. We ended up hanging out a few times which lead it to become a little more than friendship. We ended up having sex almost every week. We talked more and spent more time with each other. He's still with his girlfriend but he never talks about her anymore. To me and some of my friends I told, the relationship seems to be a friends with benefits type of thing with my ex boyfriend and I. We are still having this little affair and its been almost about 5-6 months. How i'm feeling: I know for a fact my ex boyfriend may be using me. I'll never get back with him for the things he's done to me in the past. I'm currently still hooking up with him because I feel that I'm most comfortable with him and we really connect but sometimes I have strong guilt about his current girlfriend. She has no idea. This affair is like an addiction to me. My ex is also my friend and I love using him for sex. I don't know why things have become like this between us. But I don't know what to do from here. I know I should stop but its harder than it sounds. I still care for him and I know he does for me too. But I'm having the most difficult time getting out of this situation.
skywriter Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 ....and the longer you have sex with him, the harder it'll be for you to let go and move on. Not to mention, life happens, there will be things that you'll resent him for as time goes on.
Silly_Girl Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 oh love I am so sad for you. You are only 18 years old and already think of sex as a fun recreational sport instead of for expressing love. Honey sex is to express love not just to feel good physically. It's emotional too. It can be for either, or both. It's up to the individuals. Butterflies, ex-sex is a commonly used phrase because so many find it easy to go back to an ex because it's 'safe' and comfortable. You sure aren't on your own there. The question is whether you want more from him - or from a relationship. Do you?
Author butterflies1158 Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 It can be for either, or both. It's up to the individuals. Butterflies, ex-sex is a commonly used phrase because so many find it easy to go back to an ex because it's 'safe' and comfortable. You sure aren't on your own there. The question is whether you want more from him - or from a relationship. Do you? Hi Silly_Girl, I really don't want anything to do with him relationship wise. To know that he's cheating on his current girlfriend now makes me question even about our own relationship in the past. So I don't think I'll ever have a future with this guy and I don't want to get in a relationship with him. But I do care for him and you're right..i'm very comfortable and safe with him. And I guess that's why I'm having sex with him. But I feel its very tough to get out of this..easier said than done. As of now, I'm just having fun with him and hoping to meet nice single guys since I'm going to be an incoming college freshman and obviously because i'm SINGLE
CarrieT Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Hi Silly_Girl, I really don't want anything to do with him relationship wise. To know that he's cheating on his current girlfriend now makes me question even about our own relationship in the past. So I don't think I'll ever have a future with this guy and I don't want to get in a relationship with him. But I do care for him and you're right..i'm very comfortable and safe with him. And I guess that's why I'm having sex with him. But I feel its very tough to get out of this..easier said than done. As of now, I'm just having fun with him and hoping to meet nice single guys since I'm going to be an incoming college freshman and obviously because i'm SINGLE The real question is: What if you meet a nice guy and establish a relationship with him and date for several months -- possibly thinking he is The One -- only to discover that he's been banging his ex-girlfriend for several months? As someone who was cheated on, I would never put myself in a situation where I was hurting a fellow sister and that is what you are doing do this guy's girlfriend who thinks he might be honest. Why perpetuate more hurt to other people? Oh yes - I know - because you are "just having fun" and not thinking about the consequences of others who are involved, like the third in this triad.
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