misssmartypants Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Ok, so I took my kiddos to the pool today. It was super hot out, like 105, the cable company had a major outtage and there was nothing else to do with the kids. So I'm at the pool with my sons, I wear a one piece suit that has a halter top (ties behind the neck with a "V" neckline). Unlike the other moms who camp out in the shade or sun bath and completely ignore their kids, I play with mine in the water. Partially because I think its fun, partially because I try to teach them swimming skills, and partially because I don't trust them to be completely safe or the teen aged life guards to actually watch them. Anyway, there was this adult guy there with his kid and he kept staring at me. I wore sunglasses the whole time, so I don't know how aware he was that I knew he was looking at me, but I felt like I was being watched. It kinda creeped me out. He wasn't flirting, he was staring. And even if he had been flirting, I was there with my kids, not to troll for guys. So my question to the men on the board: What was likely the reason for the creeptastic staring? And aside from wearing a burka to the swimming pool how do I discourage it without being a royal Biyatch.
reboot Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Which head is the thread title referring to? Lots of men don't have enough blood in their bodies to operate both at the same time.
thatone Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 how is he supposed to read your mind? he might've met another woman there two weeks ago who was perfectly ok with being approached while she was there with her kid(s).
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 So what, some guy thought you were attractive and was staring at you because he found you attractive- suprised you're not used to this by now- you're a woman, a man will stare at a woman he thinks is attractive. Why are you walking away from this situation feeling creeped out that you were stared at rather than feeling complimented that some dude thought you looked hot in a bathing suit? Would you really rather be at that point in your life when people are looking at you thinking- "wow- that old lady shouldn't even consider putting on a bathing suit and going out in public..."? Find something profane to complain about- in my opinion, some random dude stared at you in your bathing suit because he thought you were hot- who cares? Consider it a compliment. 1
Author misssmartypants Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 how is he supposed to read your mind? he might've met another woman there two weeks ago who was perfectly ok with being approached while she was there with her kid(s). 1) Pretty sure he's married. My 12 year old says he's the step father of a classmate of his. 2) He didn't approach, he didn't come near me, he just kept repositioning himself and staring. So what, some guy thought you were attractive and was staring at you because he found you attractive- suprised you're not used to this by now- you're a woman, a man will stare at a woman he thinks is attractive. Why are you walking away from this situation feeling creeped out that you were stared at rather than feeling complimented that some dude thought you looked hot in a bathing suit? Would you really rather be at that point in your life when people are looking at you thinking- "wow- that old lady shouldn't even consider putting on a bathing suit and going out in public..."? Find something profane to complain about- in my opinion, some random dude stared at you in your bathing suit because he thought you were hot- who cares? Consider it a compliment. I don't think I am that attractive, and he had a weird look on his face, not at all what I consider to be friendly or pleasant. I guess I wondered if it was something else - 30 year old woman splashing with little kids or something like that that was drawing attention to myself.
Cracker Jack Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I'm sure he was admiring your beauty, and was likely too nervous to approach you. Just a guess.
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 1) Pretty sure he's married. My 12 year old says he's the step father of a classmate of his. 2) He didn't approach, he didn't come near me, he just kept repositioning himself and staring. I don't think I am that attractive, and he had a weird look on his face, not at all what I consider to be friendly or pleasant. I guess I wondered if it was something else - 30 year old woman splashing with little kids or something like that that was drawing attention to myself. That's more of an issue than him looking at you. You obviously are attractive enough to be ogled. It's a part of life, men ogle. Life doesn't end at 30.
musemaj11 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Lesson of the story: Men, if you are ugly, dont stare.
U1987 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Greg Giraldo said it best; breasts aren't laser guided bombs; there WILL be collateral damage. Yeah, guys you like will be looking at you, but so will teenagers, old dude, wierdos and hobos. If you don't like it, cover that **** up.
UsayWhaa Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I guess the only way you can avoid that is by going to the swimming pool with a burka, LOL. You'll be getting looks for another reason. In all seriousness, dude was probably some middle aged married dude fantasizing about so and so. He'd most likely lost his game, and so instead just felt it necessary to stare at you.
frenchiefun Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Why didn't you call him on it? You should have asked him loudly if you had food stuck in your teeth or something, or why else was he staring at you? Embarrassed him enough so he left or moved to another part of the pool or something. You've got the right to do whatever you like without some weirdo making you feel uncomfortable. And you don't have to consider this sort of behaviour as a compliment.
PinkInTheLimo Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 you're a woman, a man will stare at a woman he thinks is attractive. No. A man will stare if he has no manners and/is a creep. There is a huge difference between noticing an attractive woman and staring at her. Staring is creepy and sick. Unfortunately, some frustrated creeps go to swimming pools to stare at women. I would have gone up to the people in charge of the swimming pool and have reported this guy. Such creeps are the kind of guys who try to rape women in a swimming pool or a public sauna! We are no longer living in the cavemen era so these guys need to get a grip on their sexuality.
KR10N Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 What was he thinking? I say this pretty much sums it up...
thatone Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 (edited) What was he thinking? I say this pretty much sums it up... bahahahaha it's funny because it's probably true. well played, i admit, but this is also true... http://image.blingee.com/images16/content/output/000/000/000/576/454041648_1123017.gif?4 and if you notice, the bouncing blue balls don't actually ever get to the other side, they just kinda go around in a circle infinitely. Edited July 28, 2011 by thatone
serial muse Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 bahahahaha it's funny because it's probably true. well played, i admit, but this is also true... http://image.blingee.com/images16/content/output/000/000/000/576/454041648_1123017.gif?4 and if you notice, the bouncing blue balls don't actually ever get to the other side, they just kinda go around in a circle infinitely. That and the banging monkey both just brightened up my morning. OP - I agree that it's disturbing when someone just stares at you steadily like that. But...you never know, he might have just been feeling kind of blank and the heat might have fried his brain. I wouldn't assume he was intending to be creepy or that he was thinking much of anything at all.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Since you were wearing sunglasses, if his apparent staring was bugging you, just dip them down and stare back to project your lack of amusement with his apparent interest. See what he does. You can't always tell though when someone is really looking at you or just perhaps being lost in thought while his head appears to be pointed at you. I had this happen at the pool at my health club--only it was me being lost in thought thinking about this woman I was flirting a lot with while I was unknowingly facing an apparent gay man who took it that I was telegraphing something to him. This dope started doing double takes every time he saw me after that for a while--one crashing into a cardboard advertisement stand for some protein shake. Eventually I had to give him "mean face" to tell him it wasn't him I was beaming about that time. If a guy stairs or seems to stare and you don't like it, stare back with the appropriate level of glare to dissuade him.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Ok, so I took my kiddos to the pool today. It was super hot out, like 105, the cable company had a major outtage and there was nothing else to do with the kids. I chuckled when I read this. It takes a cable outage for you to unglue yourself and the kids from the TV and spend some time outside. It's no wonder so many Americans are obese. As for the guys staring at you, it would be quite a leap of logic to assume he was attracted to you. Maybe there was something about you or your kids that he found odd and couldn't help noticing.
Author misssmartypants Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 I chuckled when I read this. It takes a cable outage for you to unglue yourself and the kids from the TV and spend some time outside. It's no wonder so many Americans are obese. As for the guys staring at you, it would be quite a leap of logic to assume he was attracted to you. Maybe there was something about you or your kids that he found odd and couldn't help noticing. Actually, before the heatwave hit, we were at the pool a lot more. 105 is freaking hot. Even at the pool. The pavement's hot, the chairs are hot. And I kinda think the pool is borring, we just got back from a trip the the smokey mountains in Tennessee. Give me a river over a pool any time. With the heat, we've been playing lots of x-box 360 kinect, active, but inside, where its safe. But there's only so much virtual stuff you can do before you get bored with it too.
thatone Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 yeah, i will give her that, 95-100 you can be outside but i wouldn't have kids outside in anything but water at 105 degrees. there is a helluva difference in 100 and 105, look at all of the recent stories with kids being left in cars just for a few minutes in this heat and winding up with brain damage.
Author misssmartypants Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 That's more of an issue than him looking at you. You obviously are attractive enough to be ogled. It's a part of life, men ogle. Life doesn't end at 30. I guess I wish the guy would be more subtle about it/ Lesson of the story: Men, if you are ugly, dont stare. What's that have to do with it? Did I say he was ugly? He wasn't, he just wasn't behaving in a way that was particularly attractive, No. A man will stare if he has no manners and/is a creep. There is a huge difference between noticing an attractive woman and staring at her. Staring is creepy and sick. Unfortunately, some frustrated creeps go to swimming pools to stare at women. I would have gone up to the people in charge of the swimming pool and have reported this guy. Such creeps are the kind of guys who try to rape women in a swimming pool or a public sauna! We are no longer living in the cavemen era so these guys need to get a grip on their sexuality. About the time that occured to me, he left. I agree, there's a difference between looking around and staring, and if its an attraction thing, he needs to get it under control. If you knew he was staring at you then you must have looked at him to KNOW he is checking you out. If you were truly oblivious you would not have known he was looking at you. There are women that are always aware when someone looks at them and there are women that don't have a clue if someone is checking them out. It all depends on how much attention you pay to the surroundings. If you have a good figure he was simply enjoying the view. I was aware of it because no matter where I was, weather sitting in a lounge chair, or piggbacking my four year old, or trying to dunk my six year old, I'd turn around and there he'd be. Most users here would declare me obese and disgusting, so I doubt it was my figure. You were staring back at the dude and on top of that you ask your son for info about this guy. As I said above, perhaps you were too aware of this man. I am almost sure the man wondered why you looked his way so often. And when you discussed the man with your son he probably knew you were talking about him. I asked my son who he was because I'd seen my son talk to him. I have a paranoid circuit in my brain, he tripped it with the staring, after that I was aware of where he was. Not a good way to get a girls attention.
KR10N Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 bahahahaha it's funny because it's probably true. well played, i admit, but this is also true... http://image.blingee.com/images16/content/output/000/000/000/576/454041648_1123017.gif?4 and if you notice, the bouncing blue balls don't actually ever get to the other side, they just kinda go around in a circle infinitely.Ooooo... colorful! *drools*
serial muse Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Ooooo... colorful! *drools* I am having trouble not staring at it. Mesmerizing!
Sanman Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Let's break this down.... There is a middle aged married man at the pool. He is staring at you. You want to know why he did not approach you? He is married You want to know why he doesn't stop enjoying the view because you are creeped out by him? He doesn't know or does not care Yes he was bored and ogling. He is married not dead. What else could he do? Your being creeped out really isn't his problem. It's burka time (cue hammer time theme music)!
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