spiderowl Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) OK, I would appreciate some thoughts from the guys particularly, but any opinions would help: Suppose you met a woman online and got chatting and you got on well. There was some mild flirting but nothing offensive or too sexual. After some time, you arrange to meet. You are doing the travelling in this case. What would be your motivation for making this journey and what would you be hoping would happen? Are you looking to get to know her as a person? Are you hoping she'll invite you back to her home? Are you hoping for sex on a first visit? If you did get invited back and you did end up spending the night with her, what would you think of her the next day? So, how would you advise her to handle this first meeting so that he would see her as relationship material and not just a one-night stand? Edited July 27, 2011 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
Audrina Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Well my boyfriend and I met on an online forum, we talked for two years before we finally met, and he came to me. Before he came out, we had talked about our expectations for the trip. We new one of two things would happen: (1) we'd get along just like we did online and we would pursue a long distance relationship, or (2) we would just be friends like we've always been and have a good time together. So to answer your questions, he was staying with me, not at a hotel. And yeah, he probably did expect that we would sleep together, we had a lot of sexual chemistry online and if that translated into real life it would happen. Obviously, I was girlfriend material, we've been together since and see each other once a month or so until we're ready to close the distance. It definitely wasn't a one night stand but much more. I can't wait to watch our relationship unfold. But as I said, we discussed these things before hand and we both knew if the chemistry was the same online as it was in person that the next step would be a long distance relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Thanks for your honest reply. It's hard to strike a balance between welcoming someone and being aware that they are still a stranger in some respects. Link to post Share on other sites
Audrina Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I really think the only way to do that is to have a conversation about expectations beforehand, it gets rid of all awkwardness and then you shouldn't have many quesitons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 I would do that, of course, but what we talk about and what he might be hoping will happen could be two different things. I'm very wary because I've been misled on this front before and had guys pretty much say they thought I'd invited them for a naughty weekend when beforehand they were agreeing it was just a first meet and sounded pretty respectful. I quite like the sound of this guy and want to get it right. Link to post Share on other sites
Audrina Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I would do that, of course, but what we talk about and what he might be hoping will happen could be two different things. I'm very wary because I've been misled on this front before and had guys pretty much say they thought I'd invited them for a naughty weekend when beforehand they were agreeing it was just a first meet and sounded pretty respectful. I quite like the sound of this guy and want to get it right. Have you ever asked him if he would consider being in a long distance relationship with you if you hit it off when you meet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 No, I haven't asked that kind of stuff yet. It seems too soon when we have only talked on the phone. I have asked him what he was looking for but he said he had no preconceptions - which could be seen as non-committal or honest and reasonable at this stage. I don't know how far to press on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 It always depends on the two people involved, so our opinions don't really matter, but what happened for me was; met him online, talked a lot online and on the phone, sometimes on webcam, both come out of very LTR's, so hesitant about new r/ships, we got closer and closer, some flirting, a bit sexual at times, shared a lot online before we met face to face, tried not to get ahead of ourselves and put too much expectation onto it, (although hard not to), said at least we knew we'd stay friends no matter what. Met face to face about 4 months after first contact, he flew to my country (different parts of Europe), it was only a 3 hour train ride for me, I'd booked a hotel room, he said please don't book separate rooms, not cos he was thinking of sex but just cos we knew we'd want to chat and probably hug. Our motivation for meeting was feeling/hoping we'd hit it off r/ship wise, but failing that then close friends. Yes, we were looking to get to know each other more. We came back to my home after staying in London a couple of nights. Sex wasn't our main aim for meeting. We knew each other enough before we met to know we weren't after a purely sexual r/ship, that wouldn't have worked for us. I'd make it clear before you meet you're not into one night stands, my partner already knew I'm not into them, neither is he. I mean just talk about it in general terms. OK, I would appreciate some thoughts from the guys particularly, but any opinions would help: Suppose you met a woman online and got chatting and you got on well. There was some mild flirting but nothing offensive or too sexual. After some time, you arrange to meet. You are doing the travelling in this case. What would be your motivation for making this journey and what would you be hoping would happen? Are you looking to get to know her as a person? Are you hoping she'll invite you back to her home? Are you hoping for sex on a first visit? If you did get invited back and you did end up spending the night with her, what would you think of her the next day? So, how would you advise her to handle this first meeting so that he would see her as relationship material and not just a one-night stand? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts