SRM811 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Hi there, So I met this guy via internet dating and after a month of texting and chatting online we finally met up. (I have met a few other men from the site, but never really pursued anything due to lack of interest) When we met I found I genuinely liked him and felt the initial "spark". Because of distance(About an hour drive) we have only been able to see each other once a week, but we texted on a near daily basis. Most of out "dates" consisted of going out to eat and then going to the Baptist College Ministry service and then talking and kissig a little bit for a couple hours afterwards- I felt extremely comfortable and at ease being myself around him.(I'm a little spazzy at times) Well, last week he asked me to go on a mini vacation with him and I had a great time... We did nothing bad, slept in our own beds, but I had a great time and enjoyed his company... When I left to go home he kissed me and I joked with him about not crying because I was leaving to which he commented that we would see each other again so he would survive. A couple days later on our normal meeting night we both had other things and couldn't make it, however now I feel like he has become slightly distanced... I texted him yesterday day to see if we would meet up tomorrow night to which he replied he couldn't make it because he is takig care of his aging grandma... I feel like I am over reacting and that I need to calm down, but there is that stupid girl part of me that wants to know what the heck he is thinking- as in is he over it or what? I really like this guy and would like to see where things go, but my overly analytical brain is not helping. HELP PLEASE!!
GivenUp0083 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I know this isn't relating to your question and able to help you, but could you please share what his opening email was to you when he first contacted you on this dating site? I'm curious because I've been sending out quite a few emails to women that I felt were friendly and courteous and haven't had much luck with any responses. This would help me out a lot...
GivenUp0083 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Well, last week he asked me to go on a mini vacation with him and I had a great time... We did nothing bad, slept in our own beds, but I had a great time and enjoyed his company... When I left to go home he kissed me and I joked with him about not crying because I was leaving to which he commented that we would see each other again so he would survive. A couple days later on our normal meeting night we both had other things and couldn't make it, however now I feel like he has become slightly distanced... I texted him yesterday day to see if we would meet up tomorrow night to which he replied he couldn't make it because he is takig care of his aging grandma... I feel like I am over reacting and that I need to calm down, but there is that stupid girl part of me that wants to know what the heck he is thinking- as in is he over it or what? I really like this guy and would like to see where things go, but my overly analytical brain is not helping. HELP PLEASE!! As for addressing your concern. I think you are overthinking it. It's easy to get caught up in a routine of talking a lot early on and meeting the same day/time on a regular basis and then when it DOESNT happen as much you feel like something is wrong. Don't freak out. He's probably just busy. Maybe he feels a little overwhelmed and needs time to think and figure out how he feels. Give him some breathing room, don't badger him with calls or texts or anything (I know you haven't yet, but just saying). Reach out to him in a few days, tell him you've been busy as well and see how he's doing. Don't ask him "why haven't you called" or anything, just ask him how his week is going and make small talk. Then tell him you'd like to see him again and try to make plans. If he continues to blow you off, it's ok to be honest and say "hey, maybe I'm reading this wrong, but I feel like you are a little distant lately and I'm wondering if you're having second thoughts about seeing each other." Ask him where he stands, the worst thing he says is that he's not interested anymore and it may hurt a little but at least you'll know and can continue with your life. Or, maybe he was confused or maybe just really busy and he'll tell you that. Just go with it, it's not time to freak out just yet.
Author SRM811 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 I know this isn't relating to your question and able to help you, but could you please share what his opening email was to you when he first contacted you on this dating site? I'm curious because I've been sending out quite a few emails to women that I felt were friendly and courteous and haven't had much luck with any responses. This would help me out a lot... He basically just said that he had seen my profile and was interested... So we chatted on FB... to be honest at first I was like "Eh, couldn't hurt to talk to him." I wouldn't worry too much, some girls are dumb... I am a christian and have started going down the path of keeping my eyes and ears open to what God directs me to do. But from a girl's stand point say something along the lines of, "Hi there, I noticed your profile and what I read sparked my interest. I would like to learn a little more about you; drop me a line if you are interested too." To me that lets me know that you actually read what I had to say versus looking at my picture and going all cave man and basing interest off looks.
GivenUp0083 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 He basically just said that he had seen my profile and was interested... So we chatted on FB... to be honest at first I was like "Eh, couldn't hurt to talk to him." I wouldn't worry too much, some girls are dumb... I am a christian and have started going down the path of keeping my eyes and ears open to what God directs me to do. But from a girl's stand point say something along the lines of, "Hi there, I noticed your profile and what I read sparked my interest. I would like to learn a little more about you; drop me a line if you are interested too." To me that lets me know that you actually read what I had to say versus looking at my picture and going all cave man and basing interest off looks. Thanks for sharing what he said. I've had some relationships from online dating in the past, but I'm recently single and I haven't had much luck lately in getting responses from emailing women. I've basically tried emailing with the same approach as your guy has, I guess I don't know what I'm doing wrong at this point, or maybe I'm just not that lucky.
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