resirocks Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I have been dating somebody for a few months, things are really great, except for the fact that he needs sex every day. I do enjoy sleeping with him but don't know if I can do this every day. I'm horrified because when we spend a day apart he goes on the internet to look for jerk off buddies. He might be bi-sexual, but I haven't really talked to him about this. It kinda was outta the question for me til now. How come he wont confide in me about his sexual fantasies? He's talkin about a future together a lot, and is overall respectful and sweet with me. Please help!
Rinas Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 . I'm horrified because when we spend a day apart he goes on the internet to look for jerk off buddies. He might be bi-sexual, but I haven't really talked to him about this. Do elaborate on this, what is going on here? This would/might be a flag for me.
Audrina Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 How do you know that when you guys aren't together that he's looking for jerk-off buddies? A man wanting sex daily does not make him a sex addict, it means he has a pretty healthy sex drive. I would gladly have sex 3+ times a day, but I'm not a sex addict, I just have a good sexual appetite. My sex drive doesn't drive me away from my partner, we are in a long distance relationship and I choose to not have sex with anyone but him. Sex makes up 10% of a relationship, but when it's not present the whole relationship can fall apart. It sounds like maybe you guys aren't sexually compatible, to me, this is an extremely important part of a relationship. If I am not sexually compatible with someone - as in if they are not able to keep up with me sexually, it's not usually someone I'm willing to be in a relationship with. My sexual needs do need to be met, just like his do too. It sounds like you guys need to have an open discussion, and try to do so without being accusatory to him. Just address your concerns and go from there.
Nexus One Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) Most guys can come 2 times a day without flinching. Build-up of sperm is a continuous process. When the water in the bucket reaches the edge so to say, he'll get horny and wants to unload. For most guys this feeling occurs roughly two times a day. That's the unsurprising part. The surprising part to me is, jerk buddies. What the hell are jerk buddies. Are those people you meet online with which you do some sort of cyber circle jerk or something? If so...what the f*ck?! He might be bi-sexual, that doesn't mean you have to accept that kind of behavior from him as it doesn't seem very considerate to you and your feelings. My opinion on bisexuality, and I know some bi-sexual people agree with me on this, is that just because someone is bi, that doesn't mean they get a free pass to cheat on their SO with someone of a different gender than their SO. In my opinion the bi-sexual people who get that are mature enough for a monogamous relationship. There are also bi-sexual people who want to have a relationship with two people of different genders. That can be fine too, as long as all people that are involved are informed of said agreement and agree to go along with it. So in my opinion your boyfriend might be bi, but he doesn't seem very mature or considerate towards you by doing what he does. I agree with Rinas that that is a red flag. Edited July 27, 2011 by Nexus One
just_some_guy Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 If he's jerking off with other men, he's bi. On a 1-10 scale, he might be a 3, mostly wanting women but from your description, he's comfortable seeking male partners for sexual activity of some kind. You *should* have a talk with him about this, safety and you need to decide if this is something you can live with or not. Maybe it would work for you two, maybe not. It is a little outside the norm, but at least you know something about what he's doing sexually besides you. At least there's that much honesty.
ptp Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I have been dating somebody for a few months, things are really great, except for the fact that he needs sex every day. I do enjoy sleeping with him but don't know if I can do this every day. I'm horrified because when we spend a day apart he goes on the internet to look for jerk off buddies. He might be bi-sexual, but I haven't really talked to him about this. It kinda was outta the question for me til now. How come he wont confide in me about his sexual fantasies? He's talkin about a future together a lot, and is overall respectful and sweet with me. Please help! WTH is that? Are these "buddies" guys or other girls? I have never heard of something like that before.
Rinas Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 WTH is that? Are these "buddies" guys or other girls? I have never heard of something like that before. I see these adds often posted on Craigslist, It's concerning if it is what I think it is!
Nexus One Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) WTH is that? Are these "buddies" guys or other girls? I have never heard of something like that before. Me neither. Although years ago a friend of mine told me that he saw 2 guys jerking in a house in his street. Then he saw them make peanut butter sandwiches for each other, without having washed their hands. The f*ck! I guess that's the closest thing I ever heard about regarding "jerk buddies". Personally, I don't see the appeal. Edited July 27, 2011 by Nexus One
chuckles11 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Me neither. Although years ago a friend of mine told me that he saw 2 guys jerking in a house in his street. Then he saw them make peanut butter sandwiches for each other, without having washed their hands. The f*ck! I guess that's the closest thing I ever heard about regarding "jerk buddies". Personally, I don't see the appeal. How exactly did your friend see this?
sm1tten Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Me neither. Although years ago a friend of mine told me that he saw 2 guys jerking in a house in his street. Then he saw them make peanut butter sandwiches for each other, without having washed their hands. The f*ck! I guess that's the closest thing I ever heard about regarding "jerk buddies". Personally, I don't see the appeal. Part of me thinks, aw, they made each other sammiches! But the other part of me is like, ugh, that bread smells like ballsack. I am wondering if she just means cyber sex or something though. At any rate, having sex once a day doesn't make you a fiend or abnormal. Especially in a new relationship. At a month in we're having sex 2-3x a night. If your sexual needs and his don't match, then you've got a problem. Maybe he senses that and that's why he hasn't talked to you about his fantasies... because you're already worried about the normalcy of how often he wants to do it. ETA: You mean people don't wax one out right in front of the picture window in the living room where you live, chuckles? :lol:
azsinglegal Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I wish mine was addicted to sex. For him it's the gym and food. In that order.
Nexus One Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 How exactly did your friend see this? Through the window from a sidewalk. Apparently he and some other guys walked past and they saw the scene. The jerking guys saw them, but they didn't care and just kept jerking, after which they started to make each other peanut butter sandwiches.
zengirl Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I really want clarification on what these jerk-off buddies are. I don't think it's abnormal at all for a guy to masturbate. If he's young, daily sex seems pretty normal---not that you have to have it, most guys understand our parts work differently, but it's not abnormal for him to crave it, especially early in a relationship. And masturbating is fine. But "jerk off buddies" sounds bad, I agree.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 First of all, wanting sex once a day is normal. I want sex at least once a day -- more would be better. Slightly off topic, but I noticed while browsing OKCupid that a LOT of guys in their 20s list themselves as bisexual. This would have been unheard of for 20s guys in my generation (Gen X).
azsinglegal Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 First of all, wanting sex once a day is normal. I want sex at least once a day -- more would be better. Slightly off topic, but I noticed while browsing OKCupid that a LOT of guys in their 20s list themselves as bisexual. This would have been unheard of for 20s guys in my generation (Gen X). I think men being bisexual is just a layover to gay town. Either you like the cock or you don't IMO.
Rinas Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Okay, this is what I'm guessing guys. http://montreal.en.craigslist.ca/stp/2491156679.html Similar to this. OP, is this accurate?
RovingReporter Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I think men being bisexual is just a layover to gay town. Either you like the cock or you don't IMO. What an incredibly ignorant thing to say. Google the kinsey scale.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Similar to this. Wow! Yeah, definitely bisexual activity, probably from a guy too nervous to get into bed with a guy right away. But I'm sure that's where it's headed...
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