CarlStevens Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I'm having relationship issues with my girlfriend of 3 years. Since the beginning of our relationship I've been a typical 'pleaser'. I would always agree with her, do what she wants, try to make her happy by doing things even if I didn't feel like it. I pretty much became a doormat. She recently told me that she doesn't see me as a 'man'. That she feels like she is babysitting me all the time because I just go with the flow and never take control of things and leave things up to her. She told me I need to learn how to stand up for myself, how not to take crap from anyone, grow a pair, etc. So that's what I'm working on now, I'm becoming more assertive. But whenever she challenges me on something or acts unreasonable, and I stand up for myself, she will start a huge argument. Whenever I disagree with her and try to be assertive, she will call me names, twist things around, bring up things from the past, etc. I get very frustrated because she wants me to be more assertive, except with her. She tells me to not take crap from anyone, except from her. Unfortunately, I'm always the one that has to 'give in' during disagreements, otherwise it will really get way out of hand (it has in the past). Is this a test from her side, or is she being a hypocrit about this? Thanks.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I get very frustrated because she wants me to be more assertive, except with her. She tells me to not take crap from anyone, except from her. It doesn't work like that. You need to stand up for yourself and stop taking her abuse. This is the best thing you can possibly do for yourself, with or without her. She nor any other woman will respect you if you continue to play the placating role.
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