singlelife Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Here's a thought: women don't want bitter, whiny, boys who think that because they are "nice" they are entitled to our affection. lmao. For real. Bitches ain't **** but hoes and tricks.
Author fetish1980 Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 Probably the results of 23,000+ posts and dozens of 'nice guy vs bad boy' threads. Happy you were enthralled. lol. don't be too happy. it was sarcasm fetish
Ruby Slippers Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I don't think I agree; I used to think that way. I tried being a jerk to women and it totally worked, women eat it up and will like you. However, I realized how long can I pretend to be a jerk when I am not. It just doesn't feel natural. I am a nice guy just not a push over and if a woman wants a "bad boy" she can go find someone else. Yeah, I am just beginning to experiment with being bitchy with men on purpose, and I have been absolutely floored by how they eat it up. All those years I wasted being a sweetheart! It does feel very calculating and unnatural for me to be bitchy and selfish, but the results cannot be denied. I haven't figured out exactly where I want to land. But I'm not done exploring my bitchy side yet.
Woggle Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I don't think I agree; I used to think that way. I tried being a jerk to women and it totally worked, women eat it up and will like you. However, I realized how long can I pretend to be a jerk when I am not. It just doesn't feel natural. I am a nice guy just not a push over and if a woman wants a "bad boy" she can go find someone else. I agree. Why would any men even want the kind of women that being a jerk gets you. Be a jerk and you can get drama seeking headcases with daddy issues who don't know the meaning of a healthy relationship. Where do I sign up!
GoodOnPaper Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 all the guys I've ever met (including myself) who have trouble getting dates and relationships have that trouble not because they're too nice, but rather because they lack assertiveness in the attraction stage of dating and courtship. Definitely . . . it doesn't take too many dating experiences to figure out that the doormat route is not an effective way to keep relationships, but that initial attraction stage is always a seemingly insurmountable hurdle. When being flashy and able to generate "excitement" and "drama" is not your strong suit it seems there is just no way to win. The standard advice is to approach things the same way the "bad boys" and "alpha-males" do (so many women say "I didn't know that so-and-so nice guy liked me in that way") but because they are very different people -- they have better looks and personalities that we don't particularly want to emulate -- it's hard for the idea that a similar assertiveness would give the "nice guy" similar results to sink in.
rafallus Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I tried being a jerk to women and it totally worked, women eat it up and will like you. I tried and failed, putting several people off. Conclusion is obvious: jerk vs nice guy in itself is not the clou of the problem. Self-respect is.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I was raised to be a nice guy, I did do some dating in high school, but all too often found myself hanging out with my buddies on Friday and Saturday nights. Shortly after I started in college I purchased a pick up truck, at first I thought this was great as I had numerous coeds asking for assistance to help them move. They would offer to give me gas money and sometime offered pizza and beer. I mistakenly thought that this somehow would lead to more dating. Wrong! The change came, when I straight up told them the price was a BJ. I offended about half of them, but the other half agreed, and of the half that at first were offended, most of them the, came back and finally agreed I was shocked my social and sex life sky rocketed. No more Mr. Nice Guy as I turned me into a bad boy pussy hound. I moved into a mostly singles apartment complex. I bought Boones Farm, by the case, and kept several flavors cooling in the fridge beside a couple of six packs along with a couple of bottles of cheap champaign at all times. My dating rules were simple, sex by the second date or there would be no third date. Some times I did not even need to go out looking for partners as they would come knocking on my door and say I hear you like to party.
Dusk1983 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I was raised to be a nice guy, I did do some dating in high school, but all too often found myself hanging out with my buddies on Friday and Saturday nights. Shortly after I started in college I purchased a pick up truck, at first I thought this was great as I had numerous coeds asking for assistance to help them move. They would offer to give me gas money and sometime offered pizza and beer. I mistakenly thought that this somehow would lead to more dating. Wrong! The change came, when I straight up told them the price was a BJ. I offended about half of them, but the other half agreed, and of the half that at first were offended, most of them the, came back and finally agreed I was shocked my social and sex life sky rocketed. No more Mr. Nice Guy as I turned me into a bad boy pussy hound. I moved into a mostly singles apartment complex. I bought Boones Farm, by the case, and kept several flavors cooling in the fridge beside a couple of six packs along with a couple of bottles of cheap champaign at all times. My dating rules were simple, sex by the second date or there would be no third date. Some times I did not even need to go out looking for partners as they would come knocking on my door and say I hear you like to party. And then the alarm goes off, and your day begins.
SteveC80 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Being nice alone doesnt make you attractive to women you also have to be good looking charismatic etc Most women who are stable dont like or look for bad boys its just that most attractive good looking guys can get away with being jerks ahole bad boys whatever word you want to use Most guys complaining thatt hey cant get women becasue theye too nice are also probably unattractive and thats the main reason they can tget women not because theyre too nice
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Being nice alone doesnt make you attractive to women you also have to be good looking charismatic etc Most women who are stable dont like or look for bad boys its just that most attractive good looking guys can get away with being jerks ahole bad boys whatever word you want to use Most guys complaining thatt hey cant get women becasue theye too nice are also probably unattractive and thats the main reason they can tget women not because theyre too nice More likely they just give off a creepy vibe. I mean how unattractive would you have to be to put off a large percentage of women?
Editbee Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Ummmm let's so... I have been in 4 relationships and right now I'm currently single. 1st relationship: Guy breaks up and gets bored 2nd relationship: I break up right away because he cheated, at least that's a good damn reason 3rd relationship: same as first, he breaks up all of the sudden and gets bored 4th relationship: again guy breaks up and gets bored Conclusion: I must be very boring indeed or maybe there wasn't any chemistry. Many reasons Still waiting and waiting for the right one. I think they all talked the same and tell you want we want to hear, but in a matter of time you get to know them better. It's like cats at night. They all look and act the same. At the same time it's like a jackpox or winning a bet. You can lose also so it's a 50/50 chance.
SteveC80 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I mean how unattractive would you have to be to put off a large percentage of women? Just plain old unattractive will put off most women Women are just as into looks as Men are
Richard Friedman Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Guys who push niceness as a point of pride have nothing else going for them usually..
Editbee Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Just plain old unattractive will put off most women Women are just as into looks as Men areIt's true, at some point he does have to be at least fairly good looking. For example: if he has a very severe acne to the point I can't even enjoy having dinner with him or a simple hang-out, unfortunately I wouldn't date him. I might consider him as a friend but no more than that.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Just plain old unattractive will put off most women Women are just as into looks as Men are But what does that entail? Being out of shape, being too short, having a face that looks like Picasso drew it, dressing oddly, having an accent, walking weird? Aside form the more extreme ends of the spectrum, there's a lot of grey areas to good looks (for men and women).
SteveC80 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 But what does that entail? Being out of shape, being too short, having a face that looks like Picasso drew it, dressing oddly, having an accent, walking weird? Aside form the more extreme ends of the spectrum, there's a lot of grey areas to good looks (for men and women). Out of shape and short are two big factors But facially theyre are just some ugly dudes we can pretend beauty is subjective blah blah blah but there are some people who were blessed with good looks some people who are average and some who are just ugly
azsinglegal Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Guys who push niceness as a point of pride have nothing else going for them usually.. So with that in mind, what makes them a nice guy if they're pushing it? Doesn't it make them a jackass of a lesser kind? My nice guy told me all men are jackasses, him included, he just hides it better then most and that's what made him a nice guy.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Out of shape and short are two big factors But facially theyre are just some ugly dudes we can pretend beauty is subjective blah blah blah but there are some people who were blessed with good looks some people who are average and some who are just ugly Well, even so, I think most of these "nice guys" are probably not statistical outliers in terms of facial attractiveness. The way people describe them in this thread it sounds more like they just strike people as creepy (given that they whine and complain or just sort of hover around waiting for the girl to fall for them).
azsinglegal Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Out of shape and short are two big factors But facially theyre are just some ugly dudes we can pretend beauty is subjective blah blah blah but there are some people who were blessed with good looks some people who are average and some who are just ugly Short used to be a major factor for me. Now the guy I'm seeing is my height (5'6") and it doesn't bother me cuz he has so many other things going for him. I wear heels when we go out and he could care less if I'm taller then him.
Woggle Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 So with that in mind, what makes them a nice guy if they're pushing it? Doesn't it make them a jackass of a lesser kind? My nice guy told me all men are jackasses, him included, he just hides it better then most and that's what made him a nice guy. I notice many nice guys are bigger misandrists than some women and this is a perfect example. Most men are not jackasses and like any other group there is good and bad.
SteveC80 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Well, even so, I think most of these "nice guys" are probably not statistical outliers in terms of facial attractiveness. The way people describe them in this thread it sounds more like they just strike people as creepy (given that they whine and complain or just sort of hover around waiting for the girl to fall for them). Im not sayign every nice guy is ugly im sure theyres examples of nice guys like the ones you stated my point is if your unattractive not sucessful or very charismatic being just nice will not help you get a women Theyres plenty of sucessful good looking Men who are nice also why would a women pick you[not you specifically] over him whos nice and has other things going for him over you
zengirl Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 The term "nice guy" has too many meanings. Anyone who refers to himself as a "nice guy" is probably not actually kind or nice or worth knowing. The word "nice" is a pretty blah word. If I cannot think of a better adjective than that for you, you're probably not interesting. I like kind, relationship-oriented, emotionally healthy men who treat me well. But then I'm actually the kind of person who likes good old mundane happiness. Which works well for developing a lasting relationship. If you want fireworks, and passion, and exuberance, you have to be ready for the other side of the coin as well. Happiness is never grand (stolen from Huxley!). I don't believe I've ever dated a really bad boy. My college BF was a mildly bad boy, but I only dated him because I was sick of not dating and, after my HS sweetheart's death, I couldn't see when I'd be emotionally ready for a real relationship. So we were both kind of placeholders who weren't exactly the best for each other. I tried really hard not to hurt a decent guy, but it took me years to get to a place where I was ready for REAL dating again. So I dated the college BF in the meantime. Not sure if that's right or no, but it seems logical enough. The rest of my BFs have been kind men. No boys about it. Perfect? Of course not. But they had good enough hearts. The current BF is one of the two kindest men I've ever met (next to my step-father). He really has a kind and open attitude towards everyone. It's awesome.
Richard Friedman Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 "Well, even so, I think most of these "nice guys" are probably not statistical outliers in terms of facial attractiveness. The way people describe them in this thread it sounds more like they just strike people as creepy (given that they whine and complain or just sort of hover around waiting for the girl to fall for them)." You are right here. A good looking guy can be a sniveling chump, but he will still get a lot of approaches, interest, etc. It's not very likely he'll **** all of these up. On the other hand a guy who likes like shrek will need a huge amount of charisma/aseertiveness and even then it might a lost cause(barring money and power). Most of your typical nice guys are not so far gone that they can't get women. Maybe not a supermodel, but there are a ton of women at their level. I think the main thing is "nice guys" are afraid to act in a sexual way around women and walk on eggshells to not come off as a pig. They'll bring a trembling hand to within an inch of a women ten times before getting the courage to touch her. I'm sure women can pick up the awkwardness/fear in their interactions and get turned off. And who can blame these guys? Your typical american white collar kid is told from grade school he must respect women, not view them as sexual objects, unwanted touching is harassment, women want to be comfortable before you do this stuff, etc. In short he has it hammered into him that it's wrong to be an assertive, sexual man, which is what women want. This is born out in the fear and hesitation in a typical "nice guy's" behavior. Ans women dont do men any favors because they muddy the waters. They parrot that pc nonsense theyve been told makes a good man by the media/schoolother women, but is bs. 12-13 years of brainwashing cant undo a million years of evolution to prefer assertiveness and dominance. END OF THREAD
Ruby Slippers Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I notice many nice guys are bigger misandrists than some women and this is a perfect example. Most men are not jackasses and like any other group there is good and bad. Yes. I think men who comment on how "most men are *******s" are feminized men who are not comfortable with their masculinity and/or sexuality. Most of them have been brainwashed by "victimized" mothers.
zengirl Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Yes. I think men who comment on how "most men are *******s" are feminized men who are not comfortable with their masculinity and/or sexuality. Most of them have been brainwashed by "victimized" mothers. I think sometimes they're just scammin' and they don't really even believe it. A lot of times it's "Look how different I am!" syndrome, and a lot of times, it's very much intentionally done. It's a really line of bad game in terms of effiacy, but they're trying to be playas.
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