youaretheone Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 My long distance gf has a guy best friend in her hometown who is a professional photographer. I haven't met him in person yet. They were out together yesterday for a festival and he posts on Facebook some high quality photos of her and other friends there he has taken, most of them including only my gf. They are nothing explicit, just my gf smiling or posing, some including from the top where you can see her cleavage. I also observe that he shares songs on her wall frequently. I also have close female friends and I am comfortable with her having guy friends. But since I haven't met him in person and there is distance between, I am not comfortable seeing her posing to another guy I don't know. To be honest, I became extremely jealous when I have seen them. I know I should trust her and even appreciate that how beautiful she looks in those photos but I have no idea how I should get into that mentality. What would a confident man unlike me would do when he has seen those photos? What is a good way to calm down?
Audrina Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Remind yourself that if she wanted to be with him, she'd probably be with him, but she's decided to endure a long distance relationship with you instead. I'm in a long distance relationship too and it does make things more tricky. I get upset over things that I wouldn't normally get upset about, but I've found that communicating my insecurities to my boyfriend really help. We talk about it, talk about how our actions affect each other and, if there is a problem, what we need to do to amend our actions to make the other partner feel more secure. When you're in a long distance relationship all you have is communication. It's your best tool.
mal129 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I agree. I think communication is the key factor here. I would voice your concern in a mature fashion, not coming off as a guy who doesn't trust her. In this situation I really don't think there is anything to be worried about. Does your gf's friend have his own gf? Perhaps you can casually ask about thier history together. How did they meet? How long have they been friends? Did he ever have a thing for you, or vice versa? I would limit the questions to 2-3 to avoid being too intrusive, be casual.
MusicMan1234 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) It doesn't sound like anything dodgy is going on, you just need to trust her. I think you're overthinking it. If your gf does have some 'fun' while she's over there, and she ultimately comes back to you, then you're the one she wants to be with. Don't sound like you suspect her or anything because that just tells her that you don't trust her. You may want to go have fun yourself. I don't condone cheating at all, but hey, this is the real world. Edited August 1, 2011 by MusicMan1234
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