browndog319 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 So, I've felt really pretty good for the last several days. I've found the eye opening advice so many of you have given really helpful and a lot to think about. I've got some phone calls into a few IC offices to make an appointment. I ordered a book on co-dependency. The new guy from the beach had asked me to go to a Yankee game last night - I had to pass bc I couldn't find a sitter for my daughter, but he sent me a sweet note saying he wished I could go and there would be plenty more games in the future. So promising. Definitely stuff to look forward to there - I am not condemned to sleeping alone every night, whether with MM or with new beach guy or whoever. I'm attractive. I found a house finally that I'm interested in buying and my realtor and I are working on an opening bid. My mortgage broker is standing by with the paperwork. I'm financially secure and independent enough to buy a nice house in the community I want regardless of my relationship status. I brought my DD and she went crazy for it last night. I could SEE her growing up there. A recruiter called me back to give me an update on a job search (I need a new job to get away from temptation of MM!). So there is a lot that is POSITIVE in my life. So why, this AM, do I ache for MM???? WTF? I think it's bc I checked LinkedIn and I could see that he personally checked my profile last night. And I didn't hear anything from him other than that. And I know he went away today for a few days with his family. So I know I won't hear anything. Which is good, but I am heartsick today, in spite of all that is GREAT, and I know that is AMAZING and blessed in my life. Just seeing his stupid picture and that he checked my profile (of course, BW checked two times yesterday, LOL!!!) before he went out of town sent me into this tail spin. Why???? And why would he check that? He knows I look at that daily bc of BW. Why is he looking?
Lucky_One Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 You might think it is HIM checking, but it could be his wife. I know my H's password for LinkedIn, and he knows mine. It would be an awfully convenient way for lovers to communicate, and BS could be keeping an eye on his inbox there. Just a thought.
Author browndog319 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 You might think it is HIM checking, but it could be his wife. I know my H's password for LinkedIn, and he knows mine. It would be an awfully convenient way for lovers to communicate, and BS could be keeping an eye on his inbox there. Just a thought. I had that thought, too. He had told me she had been checking anonymously all along. So maybe he did give it to her. Thank you. And BBO7, I know you're right. It is part of the grieving process - I had just felt so much better so I was hoping for things to be on the upswing. I want to just be done - I want my heart to cooperate.
MissBee Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) As BB said, you should avoid looking at things that trigger you and stay away from being updated about his life and whereabouts. This helps significantly. But yes it is par for the course in the process that you will for no reason miss this person incredibly and at different points experience strong emotions, even when you thought you had passed that stage. Don't beat yourself up. Acknowledge your feelings. Journal. Post here. Get it out and you'll quickly realize they come and go and overtime they become less and less until they stop altogether. You are right. You are an attractive woman, you're accomplishing your goals, you're learning about yourself and any issues you may have and MM or any man for that matter is not the marker of whether or not you're worth something. The more you embrace this truth, the more fulfilling and happy your life becomes. Edited July 27, 2011 by MissBee
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