iris219 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Does it to have to do with the topics of conversation? Or, just the way the topics are handled and how the conversation flows? Is it important that the person be witty? Do you like to find out you have a lot in common? What makes for a good first date? (Let’s say you’re already attracted to the person.) You can be general or specify what has happened on a good date that you’ve had. Also, for the guys, what can a girl do to impress you on a first date? What makes you want to see her again (or not see her again)?
zengirl Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I don't know if you're just looking for guys or only with the last question for guys. I'm a girl. All my good first dates have been dates where we were so busy talking, we didn't want to leave.
Author iris219 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 I don't know if you're just looking for guys or only with the last question for guys. I'm a girl. All my good first dates have been dates where we were so busy talking, we didn't want to leave. I know you're a girl, zengirl I wanted to hear from both men and women. I'm not sure I know what consitutes a good date, as I haven't had one in a long time. So conversation is one of the most important elements for you?
EasyHeart Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Random thoughts: -- She laughs at all (okay, "most") of my jokes (which is not hard because I am hilarious); -- She participates in the conversation and doesn't just sit there expecting me to do all the work; -- She dresses like she actually cares about the date; -- She speaks honestly and directly; -- She doesn't exhibit any 'high maintenance' behavior; -- She flirts with me, but is not sexual (and esp. she is not sexually aggressive). Actually, now that I think about it, there really is not list of things that happen on a good date. But if you reverse my list, all those things are signs of a BAD date!
sleepykitten Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 For me (I'm a girl-unsurprisingly with the user name having a kitten mention..) a good date is, definatly all about the conversation, how it flows, laughing, ease of chatting, flirting, knowing youre kind of on the same wave length, and having that buzzy feeling of hopefullness and possibility! Geeze i want one!
thatone Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I know you're a girl, zengirl I wanted to hear from both men and women. I'm not sure I know what consitutes a good date, as I haven't had one in a long time. So conversation is one of the most important elements for you? it is for men too. if i strike up conversation and she responds and takes off with the topic on her own it's a sign we have things in common, and she's not afraid to express herself.
rafallus Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 She gets increasingly stimulated (emotionally, then physically) to the point she doesn't even feel like talking. That, rather obviously, is my responsibility.
EasyHeart Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 it is for men too. if i strike up conversation and she responds and takes off with the topic on her own it's a sign we have things in common, and she's not afraid to express herself.Yes! That's why first dates for me are always drinks or dinner. I need someone who I can talk with. I can 'hang out'/run/go to games, etc. with my male friends. The most important thing in a GF is our ability to talk.
carhill Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Describe a good first date 'Wow, it's closing time already?' Also, for the guys, what can a girl do to impress you on a first date? What makes you want to see her again (or not see her again)? ----See her again- Appear as if she put some forethought and effort into preparing herself. My ex-wife called this 'putting your best foot forward'. Display a wide variety of interests, even if not 'deep' into them. Demonstrate a genuine curiosity. Bonus points for being curious about me. If there is physical attraction, show it. Have some transparency. It doesn't have to be overtly sexual. ----Not see her again - Talking about ex'es is #1 next-her. A close second is 'me, me, me'. Late without an advisory or apology. Texting or making/taking non-emergency phone calls during the date. Bonus negative points for wearing an earbud (yep, ) I haven't dated much since my exW and I split up but one good first date was a Saturday sushi lunch with a couple glasses of wine/sake and a couple hours of good conversation, mostly about similar interests, in our case home improvement and travel/camping rv'ing. We ended up not having that 'chemistry' that progresses dating into a relationship, but it was a positive experience (about a month and 4 dates) which I'd have no issues repeating.
oaks Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 What makes for a good first date? Talking so long that I miss the last train home. (It wasn't an excuse to stay at hers, either.) Also, for the guys, what can a girl do to impress you on a first date? What makes you want to see her again (or not see her again)? Good things: Turns up on time. Looks like (or better than) her photos and matches her description. Made an effort with her appearance (or made it look effortless like she always looks good). Doesn't play with her phone. Doesn't make too many comments about her ex even if she's comparing me favourably with him. Asks when she can see me again. (yes, it happens!)
zengirl Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I know you're a girl, zengirl I wanted to hear from both men and women. I'm not sure I know what consitutes a good date, as I haven't had one in a long time. So conversation is one of the most important elements for you? Conversation, but more just the idea that carhill and oak described --- you just don't realize how fast time has flown, but it has nothing to do with whatever activity you're doing. It's why I actually prefer more mundane first dates (dinner really is fine if it's true compatibility you're looking for---somewhere you can TALK! and get to know each other; nothing crazy). The creative, planned, exciting dates can come later, once you already like each other. Chemistry, compatibility, and conversation are the magic 3Cs for me, I guess. And by chemistry, I don't mean crazy making out or insta-fireworks (I've not experienced either of those really leading into a strong LTR from a first date) but rather just a feeling that we mesh well, bounce off of each other, are excited by each other, and find each other interesting and attractive. Also good eye contact is pretty sexy sometimes. Wait. Zengirl is a GIRL?!?! Huh. Yeah, it was early.
oaks Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Also good eye contact is pretty sexy sometimes. yes. this.
tigressA Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Basically echoing what others have said--conversation, feeling like we 'mesh' and finding each other attractive. On the first date with BF, we closed down the little restaurant we were at, and then went to see a movie because we didn't want things to end just yet. We had also made plans for a second date while at dinner. This last part is optional, but it never hurts.
sm1tten Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 The best first date I have ever had was my last first date. Things that made it stand out as specifically good for me were: Physical attraction. He looked like his pictures, but better. Obviously that's specific to online dating, but I was definitely attracted to him right off the bat. Lack of awkwardness. Yes, I'm meeting a stranger, but I felt really comfortable around him, both to converse with and to just share space with. Again, more specific to online dating, but even though we had corresponded via email and IM before meeting I didn't feel like I was meeting someone I knew, yet I wasn't shy around him at all, which I can be. Body chemistry. I wanted to stand close to him. He also held my hand on the first date, and I didn't want to let go. When he touched me, yep, I felt sparks. Sue me, it's cheesy, but it's true. He was also my best first-date kiss. Conversation flow. We talked about a lot of wide-ranging things, including things that other people might find awkward or TMI for a first date. It was very comfortable, easy conversation. We do have a lot in common, but we also were learning a lot too. Not wanting it to end. Our date was set in the daytime. We went from walking around a tourist area to buying some beers and laying out in the sun to dinner. We lingered in each other's company.
Nexus One Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) - I'd like to pick up a vibe from her that she's enthusiastic when spending time with me. Of course NOT faked enthusiasm. And that's she's happy to see me and be with me. - I'd like to pick up that I'm able to capture her attention, that her consciousness wants to absorb me so to say. I.e. her being mesmerized due to having a crush on me. - I'd like her to have butterflies and at some point tell me that she has them. - I'd like to see a stare or glance in her eyes which makes it seem as if she's high, the sort of "I desire you" kind of look on her face. And in the case she does stare like that, she probably is somewhat high on her own love chemicals. F*ck yeah. Why those things? Because those are signals of strong reciprocation. Edited July 27, 2011 by Nexus One
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 The best first date I've ever had was with my SO. I'll tell you all about it, since recalling it give me so much pleasure. Both of us had pretty much "chosen" each other before we met. It wasn't long distance, but because of his job (truck driving), it took a while before he was actually home when I was home too. We were meeting at a nice restaurant. I was late (chronic problem of mine). When I drove up, I saw him pacing and smoking, looking tremendously nervous, adorable and endearing. When we regarded each other for the first time, it was quite a warm and smiley moment. A very big, heartfelt, hello from our hearts. We entered the restaurant and I felt a little bit uncomfortable, and shy; it seemed like people were looking at us. Maybe, I thought, they could tell we were on our first date, and since we're old, they all thought it was cute. The hostess led us to the tables by the huge windows overlooking the dusky river. Upon the small table we approached was a gigantic basket overflowing with flowers. It almost covered the entire tabletop. The other diners were clearly looking forward to seeing who the extravaganza was for. They applauded as we were seated. As well as flowers, the basket contained stuff that S had been collecting for me since we'd "met" online during his travels. There was nothing fancy or expensive. There was maple syrup from Vermont, a fridge magnet of Sasquatch from the California redwoods (romantical!) Stuff like that. A lot of it was really corny and was bought in truck stops. I was so touched and flattered. I already knew he was going to be "my man." That he'd gone to such a lot of effort and thought was irresistible to me. That was over 2 years ago. I'm looking at dried roses from that basket as I type this. I have to tell you that S has NEVER done anything remotely approaching that level of romantic gesture. He set a high precedent. Also, I think he's "goal oriented" and his efforts were successful, so he moved on. Our daily relationship, in fact, does not feature many courtly moves by S. It was a very, very good first date!
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