Thieves Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I admit, it really made me choke up for a minute. And boy, does it put things in perspective. But honestly, for all of those who are going through a tough break up or are struggling with NC, take a second or two and think about it like this. Think of your life (after the break up) as a movie right now, I mean really try to picture it honestly and truly from the outside looking in. No facades, no 'Hollywood' acting, false beginnings or endings. What do you see? Are you happy with what you see? I did this earlier, and when I did I had to take a break from what I was doing. It was like watching a movie as the audience and seeing the main character (you), being able to hear their thoughts, the same repetitive painful thoughts about their ex as they lie there in bed every night and morning, staring at the ceiling. Asking themselves what they did wrong, what they could've done better, what they should've done better, wondering what their ex is doing. Occasionally there's a bit of crying before they sleep. You sit there, seeing the character (you) going through the motions of every day with a smile on their face but not seeming to get better. Seeing them (you) going online nearly every day, just to check their ex's Facebook/messenger/email with hope in their eyes, if only to receive just a glimmer of hope from the ex. But nothing. Just emptiness again. And again. And you can see up close how the hope dies in their eyes each time, and that painful look on their face. Yet they keep doing this, day after day as if something will change... You see the ex from the outside too, but guess what? They're not the main character. You can't hear their thoughts. Yet you see them, maybe pushing and pulling at the main character, or worse yet, maybe they're not even in the damn movie anymore. It's clear that they deserve better, and you - as the audience - want to just jump through the screen and grab them by the shoulders to tell them to wake up! To stop living these repetitive days of pain. You want to tell them their ex may not be coming back, that they have to pull themselves up by the bootstraps as hard as it may be, before this chapter of the movie ends... You all get the point by now, but in any case, I was doing this by accident earlier and it really did give me a little shake. I realized that by viewing my life as a 'movie', I wouldn't be particularly happy with what I saw. Not saying that your life should be as 'perfect' and entertaining as actual movies or you should strive to be like them, but just to have some outside picture of what I'm going through makes me think about what I could be doing better to get over the pain of losing my ex...
amethyste Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 It's always a good exercise to look at things from a different perspective. As far as I remember, when I came on LS I said that if I lay aside my feelings and my emotions, I can see how things really are... and they were not good
Philosoraptor Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Doing this helped me realize that the relationship was not right and helped me end a very long relationship. Things were just not right and it was obvious we were not compatible in a lot of ways.
jquest1280 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 YOU ARE SO RIGHT, Thieves. I have done that too, look at my life as a movie. It helped me to be brave and do the right thing. It's embarrassing to act whiny and pathetic if other people are watching, right? It's not what the lead actor/actress does. The lead actress is brave. She forges on. She applies herself to her job/studies/passions. And in the end, she triumphs over heartache, she graduates/wins a big promotion/falls in love with someone better (pick your own nice ending). I'm still looking forward to a take-that! scene where the lead actress meets her ex and she doesn't really care so much for him anymore, but he wonders if he did the right thing letting her go. Aaaggghh..when will I get that in my real life movie, I wonder...
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