carrie1 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) It's been almost 4 weeks since the broke up with my 6.5 BF. Long story short: - girl meets boy - dating for 4 years - boy cheats for some months on girl (with a bimbo!!!) and breaks up with girl - 10 days later, comes running back feeling sorry - girl does not take him back immediately, but after 4 months - they move in together - 2 years later (girl is very gelous about one of his female friends…and starts asking some questions ) he decides he needs a 2 weeks break, he told me it has nothing to do with his female friend (I can confirm that!) and he does not know what he wants in life - the 2 weeks break turned into 2 days break. we both decided it would be better breaking up. (right after I had my doubts ) I couldn't stand that waiting, If he would have wanted me, he didn't need a break!!!!!! 1 week later he takes most of his stuff and moves out. Since the breakup he started going out every night, talking to 10000 girls, drinking, partying. He's not the person I know!!! He even contacted that Bimbo...ouchhh...that hurts. I saw him with a girl the other day. I just turned around and started laughing. He is as active as never on FB, adding girls...liking photos...I will probably block him. This is really disgusting me!!! All those girls, I can even imagine what he's telling them, fooling them around. And he seems to enjoy this new life. How the hell could he move on so fast? Since the breakup, we talked mainly through emails, usual stuff. The memories are killing me, and I am very angry with myself, because I do remember only the good moments. Even if my mind knows it was a good decision, my heart feels something else. When will my heart finally catch up? Now I have mixed feelings: - sometimes I feel like I wanna smash his head against the wall - I feel like I miss him, - I feel sorry for him (do not really know why?!?) - I feel like I need talking to him - I feel like I never wanna see him again Some days I do not want to go out of bad! I just cannot get clear thoughts on the whole situation. Could anyone please tell me not to be stupid and start moving on? Yesterday he came picking up a jacket he left at my place. We talk normally, like friends. After he left yesterday I was pretty down. ..feeling angry, sad, mad, lonely, empty!!! That’s when I decided to go NC. I keep telling me I am gonna be fine! So day 1 started! Edited July 27, 2011 by carrie1
t_i Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Sweetie I know how you feel. I'm where you are but before you got back together. Hurts when they go to girls who were always a sore topic. He doesn't deserve another chance- but NC will probably make him miss you. Sounds like GIGS to me....
amethyste Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Be prepared to experience all kind of feelings - anger, sadness, depression, acceptance etc. Going through different phases is absolutely normal. All I can tell you is that it will definitely get better in time. From how you presented the story, I think your ex was not as invested as you were, so it was easier for him to move on. Go for NC, it's the best thing you can do right now. Also, block him on Fb; and if that's not enough, deactivate your account. You really don't need to see with your own eyes how he's hitting on someone else.
Author carrie1 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Sweetie I know how you feel. I'm where you are but before you got back together. Hurts when they go to girls who were always a sore topic. He doesn't deserve another chance- but NC will probably make him miss you. Sounds like GIGS to me.... t_i, sorry to hear this. That's always a sore topic and hell it hurts. I still remember those days back then. Be careful and think twice before taking any decision. From my experience all I can say, they never change. Even if they're trying, after a while they go back to their old self and just hurt us again. Sometimes I am sorry I took him back and moved in with him, but it felt right then:( Sounds like GIGS to me too. You should see the girls he's going out with, they're like 18-20 years old (that's not a bad thing, but he's 34)!!!! It doesn't border me him going out with those girls, it's just bordering me he's talking to that "special" girl he was cheating on me 2 years ago!! Why her?!?!?! Take care t_i and let me know how things are going!
Author carrie1 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Be prepared to experience all kind of feelings - anger, sadness, depression, acceptance etc. Going through different phases is absolutely normal. All I can tell you is that it will definitely get better in time. From how you presented the story, I think your ex was not as invested as you were, so it was easier for him to move on. Go for NC, it's the best thing you can do right now. Also, block him on Fb; and if that's not enough, deactivate your account. You really don't need to see with your own eyes how he's hitting on someone else. I am already have all kind of feelings, but it isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Maybe I haven't reached rock bottom yet. He definitely wasn't that invested as I was, I noticed that for a while, but I just ignored it. I am mad because we were so good together. I helped him doing so many good things in his life!! Anyone around noticed how great he was doing! I am sticking to NC. Just hope not to run into him soon. Even if we live in a big city, since we broke up, I met him accidentally like 15 times in very unexpected places. I try not to go in places we used to go together. I blocked his news feed on FB, and I am sure next step will be deactivating my account! Can't wait for the day I'll be better!!!!!!! Thank you all for your replies, it's really helping me!
Author carrie1 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 just deactivated my FB account!!! And I am feeling good! Had a message there from him , just ignored it!
amethyste Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I was in a similar situation - when he went back to someone from his past, someone who supposedly didn't mean anything. I don't really care anymore, but the question "Why ?" still remains (he's 33 btw, so I didn't expect such a behavior from a grown up man). As for the rock bottom - don't even think about it. The best thing you can do is to mind your own business and continue your life. If you'll spend too much time thinking about what it was & if you'll overanalyze things, it will only set you back.
Author carrie1 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Your ex should meet mine, and then jump off a cliff together ) Those "Why's" and "If"s" are the worts part. I kinda passed the phase of overanalysing every word or gesture, it just doesn't make any sense...and I am sure there is no reasonable answer. Still, the only "Why" left...would be..."Why that Bimbo from 2 years ago? Has he maybe had contact to her all this time?". He deleted her from Yahoo IM right in front of me...and was joking about her being stupid, etc. Never deleted her number from his phone.... At their ages they should be grown up, but they're anything else then grown up!
amethyste Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 He deleted her from Yahoo IM right in front of me...and was joking about her being stupid, etc. Almost the same here, only that I haven't asked him to delete her or anything else like that (would never do such thing), I've just told him to solve his problem. He described her using words much more worse than "stupid" , so when she reappeared I decided to call it quits. It's a long (and very stupid) story I don't wanna go into, but just like I've told him, it wasn't even a matter of jealousy, but one of ethics.
Author carrie1 Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 I haven't asked him to delete her either (I have never asked him things like delete x from your IM, do not talk to x, do not go there. etc., I would never pretend such things from anyone.) Seems like most of the guys do not understand the word "ethics"!!! 2nd day of NC. Facebook deactivated. No urge to check on him. I received two emails from him yesterday. First he was asking me if I am angry with him. Second one 7 hours later, he's assuming I am angry with him. (like this does any longer matter.) Haven't answered them.
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