miaowmiaow Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 So here I am on loveshack again. It has been 10 months since my ex broke up with me. ( We were together almost 5 years and got married) It was really hard for me for the first few months. I did everything to try to get him back but he started dating a girl soon after he left me. They broke up about 5 months ago and he tried contacting me by email/phone but I just ignored it. I agreed to meet up with him today so he could fill out some paperwork for our divorce ( I know it's been along time). We ended up talking for 3 hours. I honestly don't know how I felt. I know he felt awkward and he kept telling me he didn't want to get a divorce , that he only wanted to be with me . He said he was going through alot of emotional issues back then and didn't know anyway to handle it so he kept it built up inside and thats why he left me. He said that what he did was the only thing he has ever regretted and wish he never left me. He was crying and told me everything reminds him of me and he doesn't want to move on from me. I was proud of myself and didn't cry or seem weak. But I don't know what to think of all that. He said he tried dating 2 girls after me to distract him but he can't feel anything for anyone else. I told him I just want the divorce and that we have to just get it over with, that there's no point in being married. I don't understand why he would want me back, after what he did to me. He was being flirty after awhile telling me i'm pretty and was playing with my hair and such. He was my bestfriend 3 years before we even started dating. I do miss his friendship but I don't know if we'll be able to be friends after what happened, is that even a good idea? I told him I didn't know if it was the best idea to be friends right now, he started crying again when I told him that. Guh, why did I have to torture myself with meeting up with him, I was doing so well!!
Johnny85 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 That is a really cute picture of you and your cat. I am a big cat fan myself (I just recently got a little kitten, who is turning my house upside down). haha:cool:
Kamila Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 So here I am on loveshack again. It has been 10 months since my ex broke up with me. ( We were together almost 5 years and got married) It was really hard for me for the first few months. I did everything to try to get him back but he started dating a girl soon after he left me. They broke up about 5 months ago and he tried contacting me by email/phone but I just ignored it. I agreed to meet up with him today so he could fill out some paperwork for our divorce ( I know it's been along time). We ended up talking for 3 hours. I honestly don't know how I felt. I know he felt awkward and he kept telling me he didn't want to get a divorce , that he only wanted to be with me . He said he was going through alot of emotional issues back then and didn't know anyway to handle it so he kept it built up inside and thats why he left me. He said that what he did was the only thing he has ever regretted and wish he never left me. He was crying and told me everything reminds him of me and he doesn't want to move on from me. I was proud of myself and didn't cry or seem weak. But I don't know what to think of all that. He said he tried dating 2 girls after me to distract him but he can't feel anything for anyone else. I told him I just want the divorce and that we have to just get it over with, that there's no point in being married. I don't understand why he would want me back, after what he did to me. He was being flirty after awhile telling me i'm pretty and was playing with my hair and such. He was my bestfriend 3 years before we even started dating. I do miss his friendship but I don't know if we'll be able to be friends after what happened, is that even a good idea? I told him I didn't know if it was the best idea to be friends right now, he started crying again when I told him that. Guh, why did I have to torture myself with meeting up with him, I was doing so well!! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was never married and haven't got a relationship that lasted 5 years. But I had a relationship of 2.5 years and i split from my boyfriend almost a year ago. I also tried to get him back, but that was during our relationship. I tried to make it work, i put myself 200%. But at the end, if the other person isn't committed, what's the point in continuining if the end result is pain and heartbreak? Anyway, as soon as we split, the tables turned and he started to contact me and wanted to maintain contact. Much like your ex husband now. He also wanted to date other women, but he wasn't in the mood to do that. Now, your ex husband is asking you for forgiveness and wants you back. He said it to your face. Mine isn't doing that, so i'm preparing to let him go forever. I don't know what i will do if one day my ex comes back and asks me back. But what i do know is that i won't let myself be treated like a doormat again by him. There will be a compromise all the way. It should be a give-and-take relationship. So, yeah, i would take him back but on my terms. I don't know if you could do that. Because like i said, i have never been in that situation before. And you were married, that changes a lot, because you made vows. If you still truly love him and want him back, you could start the reconciliation process. But you won't forget what happened and maybe one day you'll forgive/trust him and live happy. But like i said, it all depends on you.
wilsonx Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I dont see an apology anywhere in the thread. I see a string along. He has nothing to hold on to, hes acting friendly, he doesn't want to lose his security blanket. Kamila, I have to commend you on your actions and staying strong. Don't be his doormat. I think that's what hes scared of most, you moving on without him. That's what most childish dumpers fear most, you will move on and be much more happier with them not in your life. Look at him now, he's dated 2 people and still not happy. He's not going to be happy with you again because he is still confused and does not know what he wants Keep up your mindset Kamila
Author miaowmiaow Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 I dont see an apology anywhere in the thread. I see a string along. He has nothing to hold on to, hes acting friendly, he doesn't want to lose his security blanket. Kamila, I have to commend you on your actions and staying strong. Don't be his doormat. I think that's what hes scared of most, you moving on without him. That's what most childish dumpers fear most, you will move on and be much more happier with them not in your life. Look at him now, he's dated 2 people and still not happy. He's not going to be happy with you again because he is still confused and does not know what he wants Keep up your mindset Kamila Oh I guess I didn't mention that he did apologize a lot. He even emailed my brothers and apologized to them and want to meet up with them to talk to them. It's been 10 months though, I have moved on but all I can think about is what if? I doubt i'll ever get back with him, it's just crazy to see him get like this, i've never seen him cry before. I guess he found out the grass wasn't greener on the other side afterall. Haha.
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