Bkg2 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Ok..So here's a quick run down of my situation... About 5 months ago, I met this AMAZING guy. My best friends husband introduced us. I knew this guy had a kid and had previously been married twice (or so I thought). But right away, things were great between us and two weeks into our relationship he moved to my town and we got us a place together. We were always together besides when we had to work. When he worked, he worked out of town, about an hour away but, made sure every night he was home with me. If he was not working and I was, he sat at home waiting for me to get off work. Over the first couple of months, we got his son 2-3 weekends. Right before our 3 months, he proposed and of course I said yes! Right after the engagement, he had to leave town for trainging to deploy. This past weekend he got leave right before he deploys and we spent that time together. Everything seemed great and I happened to pick up his phone and notice a message from his "ex-wife" that asked if he was getting to come home. Once I read this, I called her and told her who I was and that I was his fiancee. She quickly let me know that she was just asking for their son. They had nothing going on. But, She asked when we started seeing each other and informed me they were in fact still married!!! She did tell me that the weekend me and him met, he left her! She said they had had problems but didnt understand why he left like he did but, that the divorce papers had been signed. After talking to her, I found out that they had been married twice. That the relationship didnt work out the first time and they decided to give it a second try on the behalf of their son! The thing that bothers me and hurts me is the fact he did not tell me he was still married. He told me the reason he did not tell me in the beginning was because he knew I would never meet him. And he wanted to tell me many times over the relationship was just afraid of how I would react! Now I do not know what to do?! And I need some serious advice!! He is about to deploy and I dont know what I should do?!?!
carhill Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Welcome to LS I presume you meant that the divorce papers *have not* been signed (you wrote they had been signed) since the thread title indicates he's still married. Another LS smooth talking man in uniform data point to add to the list. While he's deployed, I'd suggest reflecting on whether or not this is the type of person who is healthy for and compatible with you. It's not off to an auspicious start, IMO. Good luck
Casablanca Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Engaged after 3 months??!!! That IMO is not right...especially if he just "got out of" a marriage....bad news bears
Author Bkg2 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Actually, They both have signed the papers but he doesn't know whats taking so long. His lawyer sent him an affidavit to sign yesterday and he signed and faxed it immediately!
Duckduckgoose Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Let me point out the amazingly large red flag of him still being married and not being truthful and upfront about it. If he can lie about some **** like this, imagine what else won't bother him to lie about. Let me also point out the other elephant in the room that he met you the night he left his wife? Rebound much? Run!
Casablanca Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Let me also point out the other elephant in the room that he met you the night he left his wife? Rebound much? Run! And after 3 months asked her to marry him...that is not enough time to get to know someone
Author Bkg2 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Thank You All For Ur Replys!!! I Need All The Advice I Can Get!
oaks Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 The thing that bothers me and hurts me is the fact he did not tell me he was still married. He told me the reason he did not tell me in the beginning was because he knew I would never meet him. And he wanted to tell me many times over the relationship was just afraid of how I would react! Now I do not know what to do?! And I need some serious advice!! He is about to deploy and I dont know what I should do?!?! He was selfish for not giving you all the important facts at or near the beginning and letting you decide about meeting him. In proposing to you, when he knew that legally he's still married and that he knew that he hadn't told you this, he was being deceitful and basically offering something he wasn't in a position to offer. At a minimum I think I would break off the engagement until the divorce is finalised, but I might walk away from the relationship entirely as I don't like being lied to. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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