cat Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I'll tell the story briefly. I have been on a long personal journey of learning love and good relationships. I've had relationships and dated some wonderful men who just weren't the right people for me. A few months ago I met a man who turned my world upside down in a good way. Any fear of commitment I ever had was gone, I looked forward to seeing him more than anyone ever before. We were really happy together. He was just as happy with me as I was with him, if not more. I really thought we were going to be together for a long time. Then one day, I felt the energy change and all the desire he had to see me was gone. I'm a very nice, fun, sane and balanced person so I can't pinpoint an event that made this happen. It really was one day things just felt... different. A Friday we had plans he blew me off by text (he used to literally count minutes to see me). He said he would see me Sunday. SUnday came he really didn't want to, I could tell. HE blew me off again. Monday I was supposed to go out of town but my mother was in an accident. He didn't call or come to the hospital (she was there three days) but he did send texts to see how things were going. This was a really hard and emotional experience for me and I needed support. During that week he emailed and said he missed me a lot. Asked to see me on Saturday. Saturday came and he blew me off again. I had had enough. I told him that I did not deserve the treatment I was getting, I wanted someone who wanted to see me, and that I could see that he did not want to. I broke it off. He said some things like that he'd had a "freak out" and that he wanted to slow down. I said no, because I didn't want to be demoted and that I couldn't imagine going back at the point we were at. I actually bumped into him at a social gathering a few days later. A man asked me out right in front of him. He emailed me overnight that night and said basically this: "I miss you, I'm afraid of commitment, I need to date other people, but I nkow that I'm only saying I want to date other people because I'm afraid of how strong of a connection we had." I wrote back and said "If you feel like you would be happier with someone else, you need to do that. I don't think you'll replicate our connection but maybe you will, and you deesrve to be happy. I want love and connection in MY life and I'm willing to make the choices to make that happen." That's the last contact we've had. Problem is, I can't stop thinking about him. I"ve been having a blast the last week or so doing activities wiht friends and meeting new people. I've been on a few casual dates. I just can't think of anyone but him, of kissing him, of laying in his arms. We really did have a special connection. I know everyone thinks their pain is unique. I know I'm not the only one on this forum who's lost someone they were deeply connected to. But how do I make it stop? How do I stop thinking about ihm all the time? SOmewhere inside me I think he's coming back. We weren't even together that long! Not s long as I've been with some others. This was just... different. I had let go, trusted. I felt so safe and cared for. I can't figure out if I miss how I felt around him, or if I miss him, or if it doesn't matter because those two things are so similar. It's really confusing. I know I can't make him come back. How do I make this stop?
coltsfan1 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 time.... time is the only thing to make it stop!!! You have to put some distance on the whole ordeal and move on.
Author cat Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 I'm having a heck of a time convincing myself I did the right thing by walking away in the face of mistreatment. I can't bring him back, can I.
Recommended Posts