Freaking out, He is a mommy's boy.

[Ruby Slippers]

UGH. How awful. I really feel for you.

 

And boy, I could tell some DOOZIES about this family. They were absolutely insane.

 

What kills me is that my ex REWARDED THEM for their insane, manipulative behavior, and still does. They have never suffered any real consequences for their emotionally abusive behavior, and they probably never will. It's pretty sick.

 

She was so crazy...lol. I now stay clear of men that have an unhealthy attachment to their mother's.

I am SO with you there. The unfortunate reality is that a lot of men around my age have weird relationship with their mothers, I guess because so many are the product of broken homes with no dad present -- hence needy, manipulative, crazy moms who disgustingly try to force their sons into some kind of substitute husband role.

Edited August 3, 2011 by Ruby Slippers

[Woggle]

For all my issues at least a woman will never have to worry about my mother getting in the way. My uncle is the only blood relative I have a close relationship with.

[FitChick]

Because I date middle-aged men, most of their parents are dead. Lucky me!

[D-Lish]

UGH. How awful. I really feel for you.

 

And boy, I could tell some DOOZIES about this family. They were absolutely insane.

 

What kills me is that my ex REWARDED THEM for their insane, manipulative behavior, and still does. They have never suffered any real consequences for their emotionally abusive behavior, and they probably never will. It's pretty sick.

 

 

I am SO with you there. The unfortunate reality is that a lot of men around my age have weird relationship with their mothers, I guess because so many are the product of broken homes with no dad present -- hence needy, manipulative, crazy moms who disgustingly try to force their sons into some kind of substitute husband role.

 

I have so many doozies myself that I could write a book- maybe we could collaborate!

 

If the OP is getting the vibe that her bf has these kinds of family issues- she should be trusting her instinct.

 

I was blindsided- because I'd never met anyone quite like her. We used to call her "the butterfly with teeth". Because she would present as such a sweet little thing (A kindergarten teacher)- but she had such a bite to her that scared the hell out of everyone:cool:

 

I felt bad for my ex-H- because he wanted to get away from it, but he couldn't muster the courage to tell her how he felt.

 

He had (has) such a high powered consulting job- and his mother will still phone him at work 6 times a day. Often crying and questioning why he didn't call or visit more.

 

It's good, his new wife refuses to deal with her- and because they have kids together, she can use the kids as leverage to counteract his mothers neediness.

 

The last time I talked to my ex, he said he had his parents to visit in Ohio and at one point they realized she had disappeared- they found her in his basement lying on the carpet in tears accusing him of abandoning her.

Honestly- we can't make this kind of stuff up! lol.

 

No matter what- if you meet a man and get a vibe that he has an unhealthy attachment to his mother (or vise-versa), you're in for trouble.

[Ruby Slippers]

Because I date middle-aged men, most of their parents are dead. Lucky me!

It may sound terrible, but after the hell that twisted woman inflicted upon us, I don't see it as the worst thing in the world if a guy's mother is no longer among the living. Of course, she was so bat**** she'll probably haunt anyone he cares about for all eternity.

[D-Lish]

For all my issues at least a woman will never have to worry about my mother getting in the way. My uncle is the only blood relative I have a close relationship with.

 

That's because at some point you found the strength to put an end to the unhealthy dynamic. Must have been hard to do- and I only say this after spending 9 years with a man that just took one blow after another and never stood up for himself. At least you did.

[Woggle]

That's because at some point you found the strength to put an end to the unhealthy dynamic. Must have been hard to do- and I only say this after spending 9 years with a man that just took one blow after another and never stood up for himself. At least you did.

 

She is an extreme case but I do agree that many mothers use their sons as a substitute husband and it is not healthy to place that burden on them. This whole dynamic just shows how important a healthy male role model in a boy's life despite what some might say. It goes the other way as hell because I dealt with many mother in law issues during the first marriage. That whole family except for one sister was beyond screwed up.

[D-Lish]

She is an extreme case but I do agree that many mothers use their sons as a substitute husband and it is not healthy to place that burden on them. This whole dynamic just shows how important a healthy male role model in a boy's life despite what some might say. It goes the other way as hell because I dealt with many mother in law issues during the first marriage. That whole family except for one sister was beyond screwed up.

 

Families can be crazy. I agree that a healthy male role model is needed in a child's life (male and female). My exH's dad was a push-over. He was a whole lot like my H. I got along with him very well- she treated him like a piece of crap.

 

I'm lucky I have a relatively normal family. Doesn't mean I don't have issues though:laugh:

[Ruby Slippers]

I have so many doozies myself that I could write a book- maybe we could collaborate!

It would be a best-seller.

 

If the OP is getting the vibe that her bf has these kinds of family issues- she should be trusting her instinct.

Absolutely. I REALLY wish someone had warned me. I had no idea what I was in for.

 

The last time I talked to my ex, he said he had his parents to visit in Ohio and at one point they realized she had disappeared- they found her in his basement lying on the carpet in tears accusing him of abandoning her.

Honestly- we can't make this kind of stuff up! lol.

Ewwwwwww. And LOL.

 

OK, I'll share a few more gross details:

 

His mother called all of her adult sons by their cutesy childhood nicknames, and insisted that they (and I) use her cutesy French nickname to address her. Ewww. God, what a wacko. I can't believe I was so nice to that shrew.

 

She would write in their birthday cards things like: "To my John." (Name changed to protect the mama's boy.) And then the message in the card sounded more like a love letter than a message to a son. *barf*

 

Though things were getting worse, we got together with them for a birthday, and I took a cake that I had baked. His mother and one of the brothers didn't speak to us for half an hour, and they served us dinner on paper plates, with plastic utensils and cups. So childish.

 

Once he started laying down firmer boundaries with them, they just got crazier. His oldest brother e-mailed me a schedule of time that they would get to spend with him, and insisted that I reply with my approval. By that point, I had decided not to interact with him when my bf wasn't present, because they always lied and twisted everything I said. He e-mailed me like a dozen times, over and over, trying to force me to respond to the terms of his "deal". This was the same guy who would start calling us at 8:00 am on Saturday mornings, and would just keep calling over and over, until we unplugged the phone.

 

When they came over to our house (usually uninvited and unannounced), they would wander through the rooms and LOOK THROUGH OUR DRAWERS. I could not believe it. They were like a pack of wild animals. And they did everything together. It's like they just didn't have independent identities. I've never seen anything like it.

[Woggle]

Families can be crazy. I agree that a healthy male role model is needed in a child's life (male and female). My exH's dad was a push-over. He was a whole lot like my H. I got along with him very well- she treated him like a piece of crap.

 

I'm lucky I have a relatively normal family. Doesn't mean I don't have issues though:laugh:

 

My father when he was married to my mother was a wimp as well. My former father in law was just as bad.

[MarlyStar]

I also married a momma's boy and it was horrible. Poor little sainted victim mother who just wanted to get along and tried sooooo hard to be nice and just didn't understand why everyone was so meeeeeeen to her for no reason when she luuuuved everyone soooooo much.

 

She cried every day, three times on Sunday. She could never 'understand' anything, she was a neurotic basketcase. And she lied and backstabbed and manipulated. He was afraid of her. She'd get upset and she'd seek to destroy whoever crossed her. But so underhandedly, with tears and hesitation and misunderstandings and emotional collapses, that it was crazy. She was so timid and afraid. She was afraid to say anything, she was afraid to do anything because her target was sooo mean to her, she was afraid.

 

And she'd go running to everyone else, all the other family memebers, friends, neighbors, the people at your work, strangers at the grocery store, and pour out her tale of victimization and ungrateful sons who were so mean to her and she didn't understand when all she wanted to do was love everyone and she tried sooooo hard just to get along. And she'd go on and on and on, ruthless, without any morals, lying and changing her story and imposing and obsessing that people would cave in or to get her off her backs join together and attack the person who just wanted to spend their own money their own way with accounting to her.

 

She was god awful. She would ruin people's weddings, vacations, holidays, birth experiences, funerals, obsessing about her latest martyrdom.

 

The therapist told me that momma's boys are more damaged than alcoholics. That alcoholic generally don't stop growing emotionally until mid teens at the earliest and many develop into full adults before the alcoholism takes over and the addiction insanity stunts them. But momma's boys rarely make developmental growth beyond about age 6. They are so far behind, they are almost impossible to fix. Because on top of the emotional stunting/crippling there is a whole lifetime of dysfunctional behavior, much of which mimics what goes on in addicted families.

 

Think of the odds and the heartbreak of an alcoholic actually pulling him/herself together and lviing a productive life, especially if they started drinking at age 13 or so. They just probably are never going to make it.

 

The odds are 10 times worse that a momma's boy will make it. He's got so much farther to come and so much more baggage.

[Ruby Slippers]

That's because at some point you found the strength to put an end to the unhealthy dynamic. Must have been hard to do- and I only say this after spending 9 years with a man that just took one blow after another and never stood up for himself. At least you did.

Amen to that.

 

Believe me, my dad can be a real jerk. And sure, I've had to deal with the fallout of that. But my family will NEVER intrude into my relationship or personal life.

 

You can't help it if your family is crazy. But once you grow up and figure some things out, you can choose to establish some healthy boundaries with them, for your own well-being and peace of mind.

[Woggle]

Not that it excuses it but some families go out of their way to keep their kids screwed up. My ex's father had her convinced to get help and go to rehab but her mother actually talked her out of it just to spite him. She didn't want her to let her father control her. How sick is that?

[Ruby Slippers]

Not that it excuses it but some families go out of their way to keep their kids screwed up. My ex's father had her convinced to get help and go to rehab but her mother actually talked her out of it just to spite him. She didn't want her to let her father control her. How sick is that?

Very! My ex and I were going to therapy to try to figure out how to deal with their crap.

 

He encouraged them to go therapy, too. And of course, they said, "WE don't NEED therapy," and suggested our counselor was "brainwashing" us against them. They absolutely hated that he was seeing a therapist and standing up to them. Anytime he would have a talk with them about some healthy changes he wanted, they would say, "Your therapist is brainwashing you and making you do this!"

[Ruby Slippers]

The therapist told me that momma's boys are more damaged than alcoholics. That alcoholic generally don't stop growing emotionally until mid teens at the earliest and many develop into full adults before the alcoholism takes over and the addiction insanity stunts them. But momma's boys rarely make developmental growth beyond about age 6. They are so far behind, they are almost impossible to fix. Because on top of the emotional stunting/crippling there is a whole lifetime of dysfunctional behavior, much of which mimics what goes on in addicted families.

I think you're right. My dad was emotionally and verbally abusive, but the damage he inflicted seems like mere surface wounds compared to how deeply my ex was scarred by his mother's insanity. I seriously doubt he will ever recover from it.

 

A weird aspect of mama's boys is that they seem to have this sort of Stockholm syndrome -- their mothers so completely and effectively distort reality and take emotional hostage of them that the sons actually believe their mother has never done any wrong, no matter how insane her behavior.

[D-Lish]

It would be a best-seller.

 

Absolutely. I REALLY wish someone had warned me. I had no idea what I was in for.

Ewwwwwww. And LOL.

 

OK, I'll share a few more gross details:

 

His mother called all of her adult sons by their cutesy childhood nicknames, and insisted that they (and I) use her cutesy French nickname to address her. Ewww. God, what a wacko. I can't believe I was so nice to that shrew.

 

She would write in their birthday cards things like: "To my John." (Name changed to protect the mama's boy.) And then the message in the card sounded more like a love letter than a message to a son. *barf*

 

Though things were getting worse, we got together with them for a birthday, and I took a cake that I had baked. His mother and one of the brothers didn't speak to us for half an hour, and they served us dinner on paper plates, with plastic utensils and cups. So childish.

 

Once he started laying down firmer boundaries with them, they just got crazier. His oldest brother e-mailed me a schedule of time that they would get to spend with him, and insisted that I reply with my approval. By that point, I had decided not to interact with him when my bf wasn't present, because they always lied and twisted everything I said. He e-mailed me like a dozen times, over and over, trying to force me to respond to the terms of his "deal". This was the same guy who would start calling us at 8:00 am on Saturday mornings, and would just keep calling over and over, until we unplugged the phone.

 

When they came over to our house (usually uninvited and unannounced), they would wander through the rooms and LOOK THROUGH OUR DRAWERS. I could not believe it. They were like a pack of wild animals. And they did everything together. It's like they just didn't have independent identities. I've never seen anything like it.

 

You can't warn people about stuff like this- when you encounter it, it's insane... I can relate to the never ending phone calls- My exH would get home Friday night late- and the calls from family would start coming in at 8am and NOT stop- the phone would ring 10 times an hour... Then as I said, we'd be eating breakfest in front of the TV and see his mother cupping her hand perring into our front window.

 

I'm so glad other women can relate to this! I felt so isolated. My mother absolutely HATED her- and I've never heard her say a bad word about anyone!

 

I think it's because of the 'weight thing"- my MIL used to tell me I was fat all the time- and I developed an eating disorder as a result of it that I still struggle with today.

 

My father when he was married to my mother was a wimp as well. My former father in law was just as bad.

 

You know how in the other thread we were talking about strong women? these aren't strong women, these are crazy women...

 

I also married a momma's boy and it was horrible. Poor little sainted victim mother who just wanted to get along and tried sooooo hard to be nice and just didn't understand why everyone was so meeeeeeen to her for no reason when she luuuuved everyone soooooo much.

 

She cried every day, three times on Sunday. She could never 'understand' anything, she was a neurotic basketcase. And she lied and backstabbed and manipulated. He was afraid of her. She'd get upset and she'd seek to destroy whoever crossed her. But so underhandedly, with tears and hesitation and misunderstandings and emotional collapses, that it was crazy. She was so timid and afraid. She was afraid to say anything, she was afraid to do anything because her target was sooo mean to her, she was afraid.

 

And she'd go running to everyone else, all the other family memebers, friends, neighbors, the people at your work, strangers at the grocery store, and pour out her tale of victimization and ungrateful sons who were so mean to her and she didn't understand when all she wanted to do was love everyone and she tried sooooo hard just to get along. And she'd go on and on and on, ruthless, without any morals, lying and changing her story and imposing and obsessing that people would cave in or to get her off her backs join together and attack the person who just wanted to spend their own money their own way with accounting to her.

 

She was god awful. She would ruin people's weddings, vacations, holidays, birth experiences, funerals, obsessing about her latest martyrdom.

 

The therapist told me that momma's boys are more damaged than alcoholics. That alcoholic generally don't stop growing emotionally until mid teens at the earliest and many develop into full adults before the alcoholism takes over and the addiction insanity stunts them. But momma's boys rarely make developmental growth beyond about age 6. They are so far behind, they are almost impossible to fix. Because on top of the emotional stunting/crippling there is a whole lifetime of dysfunctional behavior, much of which mimics what goes on in addicted families.

 

 

Think of the odds and the heartbreak of an alcoholic actually pulling him/herself together and lviing a productive life, especially if they started drinking at age 13 or so. They just probably are never going to make it.

 

The odds are 10 times worse that a momma's boy will make it. He's got so much farther to come and so much more baggage.

 

I relate 100%- and it's funny because I never thought this was as common as it is to experience.

 

I'll never forgive my husband for allowing his mother to damage our relationship. He would repeatedly beg me to accept her "fat comments" and other criticisms just to keep the peace. I stopped going over to their place for the last 4 years of our relationship- that's when we started splitting apart for x-mas, easter, and other holidays. We were a couple and should have been together- but his mother would never accept him coming to my parents- and I just got fed up.

 

I was 140lbs at 5"7 for crying out loud- hardly fat- but I went down to 105lbs due to her constant nagging. To this day, if I get close to 130lbs, I freak out. If I was that affected after 9 years, Imagine what his childhood was like...

 

At my wedding, she "sighed" during our vows....lol.

[Ruby Slippers]

You can't warn people about stuff like this- when you encounter it, it's insane...

Good point. In all fairness, though, he pretty much told me who he was from the beginning. But I was young and naive, and he and I had such a great bond that I wanted to give it a chance, anyway. Lesson learned!

 

Then as I said, we'd be eating breakfest in front of the TV and see his mother cupping her hand perring into our front window.

OMG. That is seriously disturbing!

 

I'm so glad other women can relate to this! I felt so isolated.

I KNOW! It somehow makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who dealt with all this craziness. People like this have a way of making you feel like you're the crazy one sometimes!

 

My mother absolutely HATED her- and I've never heard her say a bad word about anyone!

When my mom left a message on our machine, it was always like, "Hi, Ruby. It's your mom. Just wanted to see how you are. We're fine. You don't have to call me back." My bf said, "Wow, that must be nice." haha Because with his family, it was always urgent that he get back to them as soon as possible.

 

I think it's because of the 'weight thing"- my MIL used to tell me I was fat all the time- and I developed an eating disorder as a result of it that I still struggle with today.

Ugh, that's terrible! What a bitch.

 

I was 140lbs at 5"7 for crying out loud- hardly fat- but I went down to 105lbs due to her constant nagging. To this day, if I get close to 130lbs, I freak out. If I was that affected after 9 years, Imagine what his childhood was like...

Ugh, that sucks. But yes, you make a good point -- imagine what years and years of that kind of abuse must do to a person.

 

At my wedding, she "sighed" during our vows....lol.

OMG. There's a special place in hell for these awful women.

[D-Lish]

Good point. In all fairness, though, he pretty much told me who he was from the beginning. But I was young and naive, and he and I had such a great bond that I wanted to give it a chance, anyway. Lesson learned!

 

OMG. That is seriously disturbing!

 

I KNOW! It somehow makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who dealt with all this craziness. People like this have a way of making you feel like you're the crazy one sometimes!

 

When my mom left a message on our machine, it was always like, "Hi, Ruby. It's your mom. Just wanted to see how you are. We're fine. You don't have to call me back." My bf said, "Wow, that must be nice." haha Because with his family, it was always urgent that he get back to them as soon as possible.

 

Ugh, that's terrible! What a bitch.

 

Ugh, that sucks. But yes, you make a good point -- imagine what years and years of that kind of abuse must do to a person.

 

OMG. There's a special place in hell for these awful women.

 

These women are oblivious, that's the problem.

My exH has chronic migraines and a an ulcer- but he was never able to put 2+2 together.

 

My ex also cried at the drop of a hat- he cried more than any woman I've ever known.

 

It's sad really, he was a nice guy. I think his current wife has been able to handle things better than I was. She actually is overweight, and my ex said that the one time my exMIL said something- she went to town on her.

 

I never did- and I should have. I don't normally allow people to treat me in the manner that she did. I just always thought it was HIS responsibility to stand up for me- and I felt like I waited 8-9 years for him to do it. In the back of my mind I always had this glimmer of hope that he was going to come through for me. Never happened. That's why I lost respect for him.

[Ruby Slippers]

These women are oblivious, that's the problem.

My exH has chronic migraines and a an ulcer- but he was never able to put 2+2 together.

I think that on some level, they have to know how crazy and manipulative they are being. But maybe they really are just that off in the head that they don't get it.

 

My ex at least has a good awareness of what's going on. He has some chronic pains and health issues that he knows are rooted in all of that. He's done some mental exercises to deal with the pain and issues effectively -- but it takes real dedication to keep that up and make progress at it.

 

I never did- and I should have. I don't normally allow people to treat me in the manner that she did.

Yeah, I understand. Like you, I took the high road, while his family just kept getting more manipulative and sinister. I thought that being loving and supportive of him, while they were selfish and manipulative, was the right thing to do, that love is the best healer. But they got rid of me successfully and are back to the way it was before, so it appears that the dark side won.

 

In the back of my mind I always had this glimmer of hope that he was going to come through for me. Never happened. That's why I lost respect for him.

Yeah. It's really painful, isn't it?

 

The final straw for me was when his brother threatened me and told me to get out of the family, and he went over to their house to try to reason with them. They wanted any kind of attention, positive or negative, and they got what they wanted. His brother throws a bomb at me, and he runs to their side? My heart just dropped to my feet. Game over. Crazy family's mission accomplished.

[D-Lish]

I think that on some level, they have to know how crazy and manipulative they are being. But maybe they really are just that off in the head that they don't get it.

 

My ex at least has a good awareness of what's going on. He has some chronic pains and health issues that he knows are rooted in all of that. He's done some mental exercises to deal with the pain and issues effectively -- but it takes real dedication to keep that up and make progress at it.

 

 

Yeah, I understand. Like you, I took the high road, while his family just kept getting more manipulative and sinister. I thought that being loving and supportive of him, while they were selfish and manipulative, was the right thing to do, that love is the best healer. But they got rid of me successfully and are back to the way it was before, so it appears that the dark side won.

 

 

Yeah. It's really painful, isn't it?

 

The final straw for me was when his brother threatened me and told me to get out of the family, and he went over to their house to try to reason with them. They wanted any kind of attention, positive or negative, and they got what they wanted. His brother throws a bomb at me, and he runs to their side? My heart just dropped to my feet. Game over. Crazy family's mission accomplished.

 

You're right, it was really painful. Had one of my siblings, parents, extended family, etc- treated him in the same way- I would have gone APE SH*T on them. Never would have put up with it. I will always be fiercley protective of the people I love. I just want the same in a partner. It sucks when you don't have that kind of reciprocation.

[ascendotum]

We used to spend holiday dinners apart because I felt so unwelcome there and she would fly into a rage if he ever said he was having an easter dinner with my parents.

 

She was so crazy...lol. I now stay clear of men that have an unhealthy attachment to their mother's.

 

DL - from what I read I don’t know if I would necessarily describe your guy as a mommys boy. What dasein described earlier is much closer to the stereotype imo. To me it was the other way around, the mother had the unhealthy attachment. She’s phoning him a dozen times a day not the other way around like a mommys boy would tend to. You inherited the mother in law from hell + a bunch of dysfunctional in-laws to boot. It sounds like your ex tried to keep both sides happy, but not enough your side to result in a happy marriage.

It would be difficult for a guy to denounce his mother especially a manipulative/very critical/very devoted one that raised him for the first 20+ yrs of his life, where the guy doesn’t know any different. You would need to be extremely tolerant and/or submissive to put up with a MIL like that. A strong father influence would prevent this I'm sure.

 

I don’t blame women for passing on any guy that has an unhealthy relationship with his mother who also intrudes into the relationship and likely more so for the marriage. Likewise, I would not blame a women for walking out on her bf if he always stays silent while his mother denigrates her. In this case though with this example, just because a mother has a strong opinion on the role a prospective wife should have in her son’s life and the son does not side with the gf on ‘A good woman takes care of her husband and cleans his house’ does not mean this guy is ‘hanging on to her apron strings’. I’m not saying it is not an issue for how a woman evaluates him but its not the same as staying silent while say the mother continues to say’ she looks like a tramp with that tattoo’ or ‘your place is a mess she is useless’ or ‘she's selfish going for that promotion she wont have time to take proper care of my son’

 

As for mommy’s boy being the product of single mother up-brining..in theory I would think that would be a strong factor, though the few guys I know that have mothers with a very strong influence on their life, came from conventional families...the only trend is they are non anglo.

[D-Lish]

DL - from what I read I don’t know if I would necessarily describe your guy as a mommys boy. What dasein described earlier is much closer to the stereotype imo. To me it was the other way around, the mother had the unhealthy attachment. She’s phoning him a dozen times a day not the other way around like a mommys boy would tend to. You inherited the mother in law from hell + a bunch of dysfunctional in-laws to boot. It sounds like your ex tried to keep both sides happy, but not enough your side to result in a happy marriage.

It would be difficult for a guy to denounce his mother especially a manipulative/very critical/very devoted one that raised him for the first 20+ yrs of his life, where the guy doesn’t know any different. You would need to be extremely tolerant and/or submissive to put up with a MIL like that. A strong father influence would prevent this I'm sure.

 

I don’t blame women for passing on any guy that has an unhealthy relationship with his mother who also intrudes into the relationship and likely more so for the marriage. Likewise, I would not blame a women for walking out on her bf if he always stays silent while his mother denigrates her. In this case though with this example, just because a mother has a strong opinion on the role a prospective wife should have in her son’s life and the son does not side with the gf on ‘A good woman takes care of her husband and cleans his house’ does not mean this guy is ‘hanging on to her apron strings’. I’m not saying it is not an issue for how a woman evaluates him but its not the same as staying silent while say the mother continues to say’ she looks like a tramp with that tattoo’ or ‘your place is a mess she is useless’ or ‘she's selfish going for that promotion she wont have time to take proper care of my son’

 

As for mommy’s boy being the product of single mother up-brining..in theory I would think that would be a strong factor, though the few guys I know that have mothers with a very strong influence on their life, came from conventional families...the only trend is they are non anglo.

 

I think the very fact that he could never say "no" to anything she asked out of "fear of disappointing her" made him a mamma's boy. Not to mention that it was often at MY expense. I played second fiddle constantly.

 

The OP may just be dealing with an annoying mother, they might be younger, and it may not be the same kind of dynamic- but my ex was certainly a mamma's boy in the truest sense of the definition. I blame HER all the way. I was just a casualty of that dynamic.

[ascendotum]

I think the very fact that he could never say "no" to anything she asked out of "fear of disappointing her" made him a mamma's boy. Not to mention that it was often at MY expense. I played second fiddle constantly.

 

I admit I have a preconceived view of a momma's boy where the guy needs his mother continually in his life every day and welcomes her influence in his marriage, but reading it simply put as above, I have to agree.

[Ruby Slippers]

I admit I have a preconceived view of a momma's boy where the guy needs his mother continually in his life every day and welcomes her influence in his marriage, but reading it simply put as above, I have to agree.

To me, a mama's boy is a man who never got to the adult, independent man stage, but maintains an unhealthy degree of boyish closeness and codependence with his mom. He will always defer to her authority, even at the expense of his own well-being and that of his woman.

[D-Lish]

I admit I have a preconceived view of a momma's boy where the guy needs his mother continually in his life every day and welcomes her influence in his marriage, but reading it simply put as above, I have to agree.

 

Being second fiddle was really hard. Especially when I knew he wanted to make me the priority but was too afraid to assert himself. That marriage was a tough one.