UmbrellaBoy Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 So, I'm the other man. The guy I was involved with has gotten himself into a mess of a situation. He was moving towards breaking up with his boyfriend, but he's hesitant and suddenly the date for them moving in together came upon them, and so they did because the plans were all already set and my guy didn't know how to say No at that point. Now he's there, trapped in this living situation, and realizes he made a huge mistake and wants to get out of everything. This is always a hard situation, I'm sure, but is there anything I can tell him (I'd help him in any way to get himself free, to paraphrase "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover") to help him out of this situation or to make it easier??
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Slip out the back Jack... I'm not sure this guy is being completely honest with you. Sounds like he's doing whatever he can to keep the status quo with both of you. Why not step away until he has made a decision.
fooled once Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Slip out the back Jack... I'm not sure this guy is being completely honest with you. Sounds like he's doing whatever he can to keep the status quo with both of you. Why not step away until he has made a decision. Who moves in with someone when they don't want to??? Who makes that financial commitment? Unless they are 18, I would hope if a person didn't want to do something, like MOVE IN with someone else, they would exercise the power of the word no. Sounds like he is stalling you and you are buying it. If he wanted to be with you, he would not have moved in with his boyfriend.
melenkurion Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Easier in what way? Practically, or emotionally. If it's practical stuff then you haven't given us enough to go on. Are they renting? Whose name is on the lease? Is it formal or informal? Are the finances shared? If it's emotional... If he's waiting to jump out of the aeroplane and is frozen to the spot, there isn't much you or anyone else can say to make it easier for him to make the leap. He needs to find that courage within himself. He was moving towards breaking up with his boyfriend, but he's hesitantWhy was he hesitant? Fear? Residual feelings to his boyfriend? Head in the sand? Personally I'd steer very clear of someone who seems to have so little charge of their own life.
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