arbrne_vet Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I guess you could say i have been in denial since last september. that is when things changed. she either had an affair, and it is eating her up, or, she stopped taking medication. I don't know who this woman is, have not known who she is since last september. she drastically changed that fatefull night she said she went out with her friends. said she thought she told me, yet did not. said her phone was dead, yet it rang and rang until it went to voicemail. So, she either had an affair that night, and her guilt is getting the best of her, or she was on medication..... i have been in denial thinking who ever it was before that night that i knew, would be back. i have tolerated so so much, and i am tired. i am tired of all of this. reality has set in. it's time i live to fight another day....
coltsfan1 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 my friend sometimes you just have to fold and cash out... You have to see that the person you love is gone, and you are fighting a losing battle.. Just cash out and move on. I had to do the same thing, it liked to totally kill me. But I made it through, I miss my ex deeply. However I came to terms with the fact that I no longer know her or my friends. Chin up and good luck!!!
ScienceGal Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Have you tried to talk to her about this? Tell her how you are feeling and that she needs to come clean about whatever happened/ is still happening. BUT, be willing to hear the hard truth. Take time to process whatever she says and then react, and follow through with your decision. Best of luck to you!
Author arbrne_vet Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 i have tried to talk to her about this after it happened, and a few weeks again. she claims she was with her friend, yet i caught her in many lies. example, she told me her phone was dead, yet it rang and went to voicemail. she called when she got home. did her phone magically charge when she got home. then, her girlfriend who she supposedly spent the night with. a few weeks after this all happened, her and i, her girlfriend and her husband all went out. her girlfriend just vanished and left. that night in bed, she made mention of the night she went out with her friends, and how she did the same thing, yet this is the person she stayed with. I have tried, so many times. she really is not even close to the same person. she picks fights about everything, and fights over stupid things. she was distant for many months. would not let me touch her, would not have sex with me anymore, no hugs, no nothing. then, in april after 7 months of this, i had enough, then all of a sudden she was interested in sex again, but still this person i did not know. can't do this anymore. whoever it was i was with before september, is gone. can't get any easier than that....
Author arbrne_vet Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 It has been 1 1/2 days since i have gone NC. i have had enough. maybe..... i am slow at taking hints, or have been someone's back up plan. does not matter. if i have to come here every day, and say i have gone one more day NC, then i will. i will do this until i get tired of doing it, then i will know i have moved on. i need to heal. this is for me. time for MY wounds to heal, time for me to move on. 4 year relationship. proposed last year, and went to sh(@ ever since. don't know if she was seeing someone else, don't know if she was doing all this stupid stuff because she did not want to end it herself, don't know if she is just Fire trUCKED up in the head. but i don't really care anymore. if i hear from her, if i get a text, a phone call, my response is going to be, don't bother me anymore, i need to move on. or, am open to suggestions!
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