ScienceGal Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 6 weeks since he left me, and almost 3 weeks since I messaged him and offered for a mutual friend to get the rest if my things (he didn't respond, and I won't ask again). Last week, I dreamed that we were at a social gathering and he was going up on the roof to look at the moon. I went with him, but the stairs in the hallway had several missing, so it was difficult to make my way up them. He helped me and we proceed up the stairs. Just as we're opening the door to the roof the dream ends. Last night I dreamed we got engaged AND married! It was one of those times where you feel like you've been asleep forever, it seemed so long! I actually felt happy in my dream and like we were in love. It was great, until I woke up and felt awful. At least 3-4 times a week he creeps into my dreams and I don't understand. He can just be sitting there, or he'll smile at me. I feel so much better than I did a couple weeks ago, but these dreams need to stop! I have accepted that he isn't going to change or see how poorly he treated me at the end. I know he isn't coming back. Has anyone else had this problem?
Karala Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Of course, we all have them. You're processing. One thing that helps is to force your mind to focus on something else, especially just before going to sleep. But I'm not sure this is something you can do so early on in the breakup. (Yes, 6 weeks IS early on if you were very invested in the relationship!) I'm 4 months through my b/u, almost 2 months NC, and I still have them most nights. But I obsess waaaay too much about my ex still and I need to stop doing that soon. (I've actually given myself a timeline, lol). But just 2 nights ago, for the first time, I had a dream in which my ex was just being annoying like he was often being in real life, (as opposed to dreaming that he wants me back, etc.) we were going on a vacation somewhere and we argued and we ended up missing the train. This scenario is sooo true to what the relationship was really like. lol. Hang in there, hopefully sometime soon your inconscious will catch up and realize that this failed relationship wasn't all that and a bag of chips.
stillafool Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Yes I've had that before once when I went through a breakup. Maybe it's because you try so hard during your awake hours to not think of him so he creeps into your sleep. It will stop. That too takes time.
Bito Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Initially after the break up I did not dream about her often. I was very happy and thankful for that. However this last week she has been in my dreams almost every night. Each night I dream of us being together again and it always turns sexual. I wake up feeling awful and drained... I need to keep coaching my brain to think a certain way and not give in to my emotions so much as I have of late. Life is to short to spend any of my time thinking about someone who lies and and deceives as much as her.
moontiger Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Me too--I dream of him, and I don't sleep well, and I wake up with a lead weight in my chest. It's frustrating; I can control my thoughts during the day to some extent, but I can't really help what I think about when I'm asleep. I remember this happened with my last breakup, too. After a while, when it stopped hurting so much, the dreams stopped too. I haven't dreamed of him in years; I don't even remember what he looks like, really, except from a picture I have of us together. It gets better. Let's both remember that. Hugs.
reimeivn Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 It does get better. Dont think about him before you go to bed. I think I must have felt a whole lot better till the point I know I dont want to be back with him. Of course theres still this feelings of losing a possession, which means I ll feel jealous when he gets a gf. But all the hurt are just from what he did to me, not from the fact that hes not with me anymore. Therefore, when he happened to be in my dream 2 weeks ago, he was just there, like a supporting actor. I didnt know what he did in the dream anymore.
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