LilThalie Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Now I know this isn't a good idea in the first place. But I cared for this guy, even if the time we had together was very short. I was hurt by the way things ended. But for all the changes that will be happening in my life and in his, I know we're better off like this. In the end we were both not ready for a relationship, he because he wasn't over that ex-grilfriend and I because I still have some personal issues to resolve. But I really thought he liked me a lot and I shared his opinion on all the obstacles that prevented us from making this work. Now, for all I know he's back with his ex girlfriend, so I guess he is happy with where he is at in his life. That's ok, he was never the type of guy who could be alone for long and he was always very concerned about having a 'foundation' with the person you're with. So that wasn't particularly shocking. What hurts is that he does not seem to care for me at all. I don't want him back. But I would want to talk to him, just catch up from time to time. Sometimes when I think about this I just get angry with him. And I want to make him think of me, remember me. The last words in the last message I received from him, were: "I did not stop liking you from one day to the next, I still do, Thalie, believe me that." I can imagine his voice saying these words and I can picture the way he would have glanced at me when saying this. And it hurts that he doesn't seem to want me in his life at all. I just hope he thinks of me too from time to time, not with remorse, not with resentment. Just that moment when you think about a person you cared for and you are grateful for the memories you got to make.
Dblock10 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 yeah love hurts. your'll learn this quickly. im not saying you were "in" love, i'm just using the term love loosely. all you can do is wish him the best. stay out his life if he has made the move to go back to an ex. you sound quite young? so literally dont worry about it, there will be many, many guys in your life (: and one will make you the happiest you have ever been peace
Author LilThalie Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 I'm 20, I know there will be many great things ahead. Still sometimes, something reminds me of him and sometimes I go on about the could-have-beens, because I genuinely believe that this guy and I would have been something beautiful had we met at another point in our lives. Sure, that doesn't mean a thing but I can't help these thoughts popping up in my mind from time to time.
geegirl Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 It's normal to feel this way, Thalie. You had hopes and dreams when you were with him and eventhough it's over, those feelings and thoughts will still linger as you continue to mourn for what could have been. It's a process. As you slowly detach emotionally and reconnect with yourself as to the reality of what the R was, instead of romanticizing it, you will slowly be able to come to terms with it. Acceptance. But there is one thing you can't make him do and that is remember you, the way you want him to. It's beyond your control. His silence may not be an indication that he doesn't care but just his way of moving on. Plus, contact at this point is to your detriment because it keeps the feelings on simmer. This is the best time to stay away and focus as the issue at hand, healing. Contact, no matter how insignificant you may think will most likely keep you attached and hoping. You should be grateful that he is not contacting you and confusing you. If anything you see how many posts on here that make the dumpee so confused and hoping when contact is made.
Author LilThalie Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 I know NC is best for me now, probably for him too. I need to work on a lot of things and it's gonna be a long road, that I know. I wasn't ready to trust him and open up, and I won't be with anyone else at this point. Although I shouldn't be concerned for his emotions, I firmly believe he has got some figuring out to do himself. He certainly needs to learn how to deal with conflicts. If you have issues, you have a choice, you either work on them and they'll hopefully improved or you choose to hope they will just disappear and that's likely not gonna happen. If nothing else, I taught him that in life. Haha. I'm still hopeful though that when I come back to this city in one year's time, we could catch up and at least have one try if we can have those great conversations we had on another level, in a friendship.
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