xxHollyxx Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Hi people!!! I need some advice please! I met this guy a couple of weeks ago. We met up quite a lot and spoke almost every day since we met. Before we met I was getting over a breakup. I broke up with ex a few months ago and am slowly getting over him. After I broke up with my ex I went on a couple of dates. I was not interested in any of these guys so I didn’t pursue anything. However, this was the first guy that I actually wanted to meet up with again. This guy initiates contact and he is eager to meet up with me a couple of times a week. I have not slept with him yet so it’s not about sex. We kiss and cuddle each other. I told him that I need to feel 100percent comfortable around a man before sex. He says he understands and says it doesn’t matter and he wants to continue seeing me. Cons: 1. Even though he says I am pretty, I have huge insecurities around him! With other guys I feel I am attractive as they tell me I am. I know I shouldn’t need a guy to tell me I am pretty but I am very self-critical!! He is an attractive man and used to getting attention from women so I guess I feel intimidated. 2. He has told me very personal things about himself. Things you wouldn’t tell a girl you were trying to impress. 3. He sometimes yawns around me. I think that if a guy yawns around you he isn’t interested!!! 4. I guess I am confused about his intentions. I always knew right away when a guy is interested or not! My gut tells me he's not passionate about me but it is clear he is interested in me. After coming out of a long term relationship I am not ready to jump back into one. When around him I feel like I did with my ex. It’s comfortable, fun and relaxing. Apart from the fact that I feel deadly insecure around him at times!!! What do I do? If I keep meeting up with him I am worried I will really open up to him and let him in. Do you think he wants to have something more with me? Do guys just string along a girl for no reason?
Nexus One Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) 3. He sometimes yawns around me. I think that if a guy yawns around you he isn’t interested!!! Unless he's trying to express in a sarcastic way that he's bored around you, then I don't think you can take that as a sign of disinterest. Most guys(and people for that matter) yawn when tired/drowsy. It's often accompanied with the feeling to stretch one's muscles. (like arms and such) It's a way for the body to try to stay or become more alert when tired/drowsy. There's a theory that says that yawning is infectious to others, because when we used to live in tribes that were prone to (predatory) attacks, yawning kept the tribe more alert. Dogs do the same, when one dog in a pack yawns, then other dogs often start doing it too. Carry on. Edited July 26, 2011 by Nexus One
thatone Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 he tells you those things about himself and acts that way because he feels comfortable with you. don't let your insecurity ruin it. think about it, if he were really not that interested and if he is as attractive as you say he is, he could go pick up a bar whore right now. but he isn't doing that, from what you say, is he?
FormerNiceGuy Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Yawning..is a pretty big red flag. Granted, he might be tired..you just never know..but if it becomes a pattern, it's a pretty big tell.
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Exactly!! I think yawning is a pretty big deal!! I never yawn unless I am tired or bored. He says he has a lot of fun when he is with me and arranges to meet up again so I don't get it.... I also notice that he likes to speak a lot about himself. When I speak I just get the feeling that he doesn't get me. When I am on dates with other guys they have never once yawned and when I speak they listen to me and I can tell they are interested. For example, my recent ex would give eye contact early on in dating, would seem passionate about me and just really 'got me'. This guy seems almost 'flat' and sometimes lacking emotion. I know that he was on medication a few years ago but I am not sure if he still is now!
ChessPieceFace Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I yawn all the time, in fact I'm doing it right now. Stop trying to "read people" because a lot of the time it won't work. The last girl I liked totally destroyed any chances we'd have had cause she misread so many things, instead of just asking.
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Yes, I agree! But actually yawning when I speak! It has not just happened once....It makes me feel insecure and I don't feel like I want to share my thoughts with him. Come to think of it, years ago when I dated some guy, I noticed that he yawned sometimes and I said to myself I will never trust a man who yawns as it means they are not interested. Turns out he wasn't. I was right. Anyway, since him I have been on many dates and had boyfriends since then and not one has ever yawned early on in the dating game.......
musemaj11 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Welcome to the friendzone! Enjoy all the rides and attractions.
heavyiron Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 1. You think too much 2. You think way too much. 3. Thinking so much isn't attractive to guys 4. If he is as good looking as you say and wanted to just get you for sex, he would've gotten some elsewhere.
KathyM Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Hi people!!! I need some advice please! I met this guy a couple of weeks ago. We met up quite a lot and spoke almost every day since we met. Before we met I was getting over a breakup. I broke up with ex a few months ago and am slowly getting over him. After I broke up with my ex I went on a couple of dates. I was not interested in any of these guys so I didn’t pursue anything. However, this was the first guy that I actually wanted to meet up with again. This guy initiates contact and he is eager to meet up with me a couple of times a week. I have not slept with him yet so it’s not about sex. We kiss and cuddle each other. I told him that I need to feel 100percent comfortable around a man before sex. He says he understands and says it doesn’t matter and he wants to continue seeing me. Cons: 1. Even though he says I am pretty, I have huge insecurities around him! With other guys I feel I am attractive as they tell me I am. I know I shouldn’t need a guy to tell me I am pretty but I am very self-critical!! He is an attractive man and used to getting attention from women so I guess I feel intimidated. 2. He has told me very personal things about himself. Things you wouldn’t tell a girl you were trying to impress. 3. He sometimes yawns around me. I think that if a guy yawns around you he isn’t interested!!! 4. I guess I am confused about his intentions. I always knew right away when a guy is interested or not! My gut tells me he's not passionate about me but it is clear he is interested in me. After coming out of a long term relationship I am not ready to jump back into one. When around him I feel like I did with my ex. It’s comfortable, fun and relaxing. Apart from the fact that I feel deadly insecure around him at times!!! What do I do? If I keep meeting up with him I am worried I will really open up to him and let him in. Do you think he wants to have something more with me? Do guys just string along a girl for no reason? I don't think you should be afraid to get close to him and open up to him. Part of dating is to get to know someone well and let your guard down and let him see the real you. No need to put up barriers. He's obviously interested, or he wouldn't be seeing you. He wants to continue seeing you, even though you aren't having sex with him, so that's a good sign. He's not in it for the sex. He obviously thinks you're good enough for him, so there's no reason you should doubt that. While it's true that some guys might string along a girl until something better comes along, don't worry about it. Just enjoy the time you have together and make the most of it. You can't control the future, so enjoy the present, and be confident in your self worth.
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Honestly,I could do the friendzone. I like his personality. I am not sure if he wants friendzone or what though. This is what I am trying to decide!! I have met up with guys like this and I have just thought we were friends but they wanted something more. I asked my friends and told them that we are just friends and they told me that its not the way it works. That most men won't waste their time hanging out/buying drinks/dinner for a girl they just want as a friend! I also feel that guys don't want to just try kiss a girl they want to be friends with.....Trust me, I don't make the moves on him!! When I went to his place he was putting on the moves and was being really affectionate. Do friends do that? I am soooo confused as to what to do. Maybe we are meant to be friends. I am okay with that, but what should I do? When I see him again is there any sneaky way of finding out his intentions?
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 I agree Kathy, it's the stringing along part that bothers me. What does he have to gain? Just before this guy I have had many offers to go out with guys. I know I can meet someone else. I feel like he isn't right for me but something is keeping me there. I don't think I would be upset if he never called again but I would happily see him again. Perhaps I am stringing him along too.... Confusion.....
KathyM Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I agree Kathy, it's the stringing along part that bothers me. What does he have to gain? Just before this guy I have had many offers to go out with guys. I know I can meet someone else. I feel like he isn't right for me but something is keeping me there. I don't think I would be upset if he never called again but I would happily see him again. Perhaps I am stringing him along too.... Confusion..... Why do you think he's not right for you?
Author xxHollyxx Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Because I don't feel that 'buzz' around him...I think he must feel the same way! I am not sure. I guess I am used to my ex who made it very clear he was into me and I guess I need that mutual connection. It's hard to know, right?
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