PhillyDude Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Wen you go to a public event whether it' a bar or singles party, most guys flirt with a smile before he starts a conversation with a woman. So why is it when a guy sends a flirt online to see if there is mutual attraction first, girls don't want to be bothered because he didn't send a regular email?
zengirl Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Wen you go to a public event whether it' a bar or singles party, most guys flirt with a smile before he starts a conversation with a woman. So why is it when a guy sends a flirt online to see if there is mutual attraction first, girls don't want to be bothered because he didn't send a regular email? Do you mean like a wink? I just think those are wimpy. I don't send winks either; if I want to message a guy, I message him.
sm1tten Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Both my last LTR and my current relationship started with a guy "winking" or sending a flirt, to which I responded by sending an email. I also sometimes sent those in lieu of emails. Frankly the idea of sending and receiving a longish, thoughtful email as an opening volley just didn't always appeal to me. I think some women associate those as indicators that the guy is either not reading the profile, not super-interested, or playing a numbers game, but I think those men have many different approaches and I don't judge intent based off of how I'm approached online. Unless it starts with a penis pic. I'm totally judging those.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Both my last LTR and my current relationship started with a guy "winking" or sending a flirt, to which I responded by sending an email. I also sometimes sent those in lieu of emails. Frankly the idea of sending and receiving a longish, thoughtful email as an opening volley just didn't always appeal to me. I think some women associate those as indicators that the guy is either not reading the profile, not super-interested, or playing a numbers game, but I think those men have many different approaches and I don't judge intent based off of how I'm approached online. Unless it starts with a penis pic. I'm totally judging those. I agree, every response should be no longer than a paragraph. I never been into long emails
oaks Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I don't judge intent based off of how I'm approached online. Unless it starts with a penis pic. I'm totally judging those. :lmao: Do you give them marks out of 10?
sm1tten Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 :lmao: Do you give them marks out of 10? Sadly, never so high.
zengirl Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Both my last LTR and my current relationship started with a guy "winking" or sending a flirt, to which I responded by sending an email. I also sometimes sent those in lieu of emails. Frankly the idea of sending and receiving a longish, thoughtful email as an opening volley just didn't always appeal to me. I think some women associate those as indicators that the guy is either not reading the profile, not super-interested, or playing a numbers game, but I think those men have many different approaches and I don't judge intent based off of how I'm approached online. Unless it starts with a penis pic. I'm totally judging those. FTR, I'm not saying I want a long message. Two sentences for a first message is fine. As long as it's more than a wink or a hi. If a guy winked at me in public or someone randomly came up and just said "Hi!" without introducing themselves, I'd find them weird. Even weirder if they knew I was single and looking to meet men. It's not hard to write a couple of sentences. But it's a compatibility thing, I'm sure.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 FTR, I'm not saying I want a long message. Two sentences for a first message is fine. As long as it's more than a wink or a hi. If a guy winked at me in public or someone randomly came up and just said "Hi!" without introducing themselves, I'd find them weird. Even weirder if they knew I was single and looking to meet men. It's not hard to write a couple of sentences. But it's a compatibility thing, I'm sure. This is the reason why it's hard to write a couple of sentences lots of females have a empty essay lots of females have cliche hobbies.
zengirl Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 This is the reason why it's hard to write a couple of sentences lots of females have a empty essay lots of females have cliche hobbies. Well, my profile was always long and quite detailed. I also had the max # of pictures up and answered lots of questions on OKC, even detailing the "why" behind my answer. So. . . those things wouldn't apply to me!
Author PhillyDude Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Well, my profile was always long and quite detailed. I also had the max # of pictures up and answered lots of questions on OKC, even detailing the "why" behind my answer. So. . . those things wouldn't apply to me! OKC has some good questions which makes it easier to respond to someone. Actually I'm going to transfer my OKC profile to POF
zengirl Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 OKC has some good questions which makes it easier to respond to someone. Actually I'm going to transfer my OKC profile to POF I agree with that plan! I used to use my OKC profile on Match back when I used it. I think OKC has the best profile format.
sm1tten Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 My profile was average length I think, three or four pictures. I probably answered like 200 questions on OKC. But OKC was pretty disappointing me for me, results-wise, as I've stated in other threads, and neither of these men were from OKC. The "talent pool" on these sites in my location varied greatly. I was probably more likely to ignore a wink on OKC than on Match because I found more men I was interested in there. Just another thread that goes to show how there's no magic formula in online dating!
grkBoy Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Wen you go to a public event whether it' a bar or singles party, most guys flirt with a smile before he starts a conversation with a woman. So why is it when a guy sends a flirt online to see if there is mutual attraction first, girls don't want to be bothered because he didn't send a regular email? Because in the real world the girl doesn't get to privately look up a profile and opening statement from a guy with him unable to say anything else. Because in online dating, women have decided they want a full email that shows he read her profile and has some measure of commonality with her, rather than just emailing her just because he thought she was hot. In a bar or someplace like that, you're at the mercy of the real world. No barriers, so the smile and eye contact makes the decision if she thinks you're attractive. The initial conversation then decides if she wants you to have her number and if she'll date you. In Online Dating, many men and women have taken the believe that it's a "step down" so they'll "demand" and feel they "deserve" an above-average mate that they honestly would have no shot at in a bar. This goes for both genders.
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